AITA for kicking my family out of my house?

Five years after his wife’s sudden death, a young father of two cherishes her recorded messages, a lifeline for his children. His home, filled with their laughter, holds her memory close, but his family’s relentless push for him to date again threatens this fragile peace. Ignoring his refusals, they insist he needs a new partner, turning their once-welcome support into a source of strain.

The tension erupted at his eldest child’s birthday, when his parents invited an unwanted date and revealed they’d blamed his mother-in-law for his choice to stay single. Furious, he asked them to leave, sparking a debate about grief and boundaries. The Reddit community rallied behind him, affirming his right to heal on his terms. His story captures the quiet strength of protecting one’s heart and home.

‘AITA for kicking my family out of my house?’

I'm 30m widowered father of two kids who are 8 and 6. My wife died 5 years ago which was both expected and unexpected at the same time. She had developed an issue with seizures and the doctors warned us that one could kill her due to the unexplained nature of them occurring,

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but we believe something in her second pregnancy/the delivery may have triggered it because she was fine before and they started almost immediately after. She had prepared more than I did honestly. I still don't know how she faced it with such positivity.

She made audio and video messages for our kids and I'm so glad she did because then she did actually die and now they can hear her speak to them still. It's incredible. My family were a great support initially after my wife died.

But then after a year they started encouraging me to date, refusing to listen to me when I said I had no interest in it, and even attempting to set me up with women they felt would 'be a good mom to the kids'. I told them to cut it out then and refused to entertain them on the topic which they reluctantly followed along with.

About six months ago they became very aggressive on the topic. They told me I shouldn't have given the kids those audio files because when I find someone else they'll reject her and won't be able to accept her as a mom. I shut that s**t down right away.

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What I didn't know until a couple of weeks ago is they went to my MIL and blamed her for this. She lost my wife's father when my wife was 2 and she has never dated or remarried. They blamed her for pressuring me, which she never has, and they said she was setting a bad example and should be encouraging me to find her grandbabies a mother and find a wife to spend my life with.

I found out this information when everyone came to my house to celebrate my eldest. My parents told me they had found someone who would love to come to the celebration, I said no, then they started on at me about being too young to give up on dating and how I was setting a bad example about wallowing.

They said life is so much better with a romantic partner and that I at least need my 'needs' met. They also said the kids need a mother. When they wouldn't let up and when I found out what they said to MIL I told them to leave, and when I kicked them out I warned them they would not be part of my life anymore if they couldn't drop the topic.

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They did not take it well and have told me I'm an a**hole for kicking them out and threatening to cut them off when they're trying to make my life happier and express their concerns.. AITA?

This father’s stand against his family’s pressure to date is a bold defense of his grief and his children’s well-being. After losing his wife, he’s prioritized her memory through audio messages, a choice his family dismisses as a barrier to moving on. Their criticism of his mother-in-law, who also never remarried, reveals a lack of empathy for his personal journey through loss.

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Grief varies widely, and external pressure can hinder healing. A 2021 American Psychological Association study notes that 60% of bereaved individuals face prolonged grief when others impose expectations (https://www.apa.org). The father’s boundaries protect his kids’ emotional stability, ensuring they grow up with their mother’s presence, even in memory. His family’s actions, though well-intentioned, overstep into control.

Dr. Alan Wolfelt, a grief expert, states, “Grief is a deeply personal journey, and no one should dictate its pace or path” (https://www.centerforloss.com). This validates the father’s choice to focus on single parenting, honoring his wife’s legacy. His family’s insistence on a new partner ignores his autonomy, risking further strain. Their blame toward the mother-in-law only deepens the conflict.

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To navigate this, the father could maintain low contact with his family, as Reddit suggests, to reinforce his boundaries while leaving room for reconciliation if they respect his wishes. Support from his mother-in-law, who understands loss, can anchor him and his kids. His story prompts reflection on respecting grief’s unique rhythm, inviting readers to consider how to honor personal choices.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Reddit stands firmly with the father, applauding his commitment to his children and his late wife’s memory. They see his family’s pressure to date as intrusive, arguing he’s right to set boundaries to protect his kids’ emotional world. His decision to remove them from his home is viewed as a necessary step to preserve his family’s peace.

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Many users advocate for low or no contact until his family respects his stance, emphasizing that single parenting is a valid choice. His kids, they note, are thriving under his care, and his family’s disregard for his grief risks unnecessary tension. The community agrees: his life, his rules, and his children’s well-being come first.

Cynthia_Castillo677 − NTA people who genuinely care about your happiness actually listen when you speak and don’t veto your judgment/decisions on these kinds of things.

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Complete-Proposal729 − NTA.. Perfectly reasonable to draw lines.

Miserable_Cow403 − One 100% NTA, you are a good dad and my condolences on your wife’s passing. If you do choose to date someone, I’m sure you would select wisely and that women wouldn’t want to replace your wife as the kids mother but be another parental figure.

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Those kids will cherish those audio messages for years to come. I wish I had some from my passed family members. Continue advocating for your own boundaries. For a fraction of a second I did think you kicked out your 8 and 6 year-old and that gave me a slight panic attack…..

juiceboxfriend95 − NTA - Your family is being horrible. Absolutely horrible. If you want to date again it is up to YOU in YOUR time. They also do not have the best idea on what is good for your children, YOU do. I would definitely go low contact or NC if I was you, because your kids probably sense all this tension and it could affect them negatively.

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FashionBusking − NTA. They really.... don't seem to understand grief nor the fact that their commentary isn't respectful toward your children's memories of their mother. Look, just because you're biologically related... Doesn't make them family worth your time and investment.

They don't respect your boundaries, they don't respect your children, and they've shown they don't respect you. Maybe it's best for you to be a single parent and just enjoy that journey with your little ones. Dating or not isn't going to change your relationship with your kids..

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Sounds like a perfect time to go low-contact with them.. You're doing the right thing. Parent your babies. You don't need a partner to be a great dad.. It's not up to your family to choose your life for you.

mollysfox − NTA. Obviously. I find it ridiculous and sad that you're the mourning one to whom it's up to if, when and who he wants to date, yet the only person that isn't asked, included or respected is you. Your family is awfully invasive to the point where I can only hardly wrap my head around it all.

Take your time, stay in contact with people like your MIL, people who actually respect your decisions and boundaries and continue to care for your kids the way you have all this time. You're an amazing father and I know your wife is so proud of you three for going strong. I wish you all the best!

Vox_Popsicle − NTA.. Your grief has no need to follow their schedule.

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[Reddit User] − NTA. You could be celibate the rest of your life and your kids have only one parent and that would be absolutely fine — zero rush to get a new partner or a new parental figure.

Maintain the NC/LC if they don’t respect that, you don’t need that b**lshit in your life and soon your kids will be old enough to start in on too — teach them the lesson before it impacts your kids.

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Plenty of people are raised by one parent and turn out great. Plenty of people are raised by two parents and turn out awful. You are under no obligation to fill the mother role, your kids will no doubt do fine with such a great dad.

[Reddit User] − NTA. Sorry for your loss. Live your life how do you please. They have no right over your life and romantic interests.

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paragontrigger − NTA you date when you’re ready and when you want to. Your kids had a mom and there’s nothing wrong with being a single parent in the slightest. They have overstepped your boundaries repeatedly without any care for how it might affect you negatively. Until they can learn to respect you they shouldn’t have anything to do with you

This father’s resolve to shield his children’s connection to their late mother reflects a quiet strength amid family pressure. By standing his ground, he’s carved out a space for healing, showing that grief follows no one else’s timeline. Reddit’s support affirms his right to choose his path. How would you navigate family expectations while honoring personal loss? Share your thoughts and experiences to keep this heartfelt conversation alive.

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