AITA for kicking my BIL’s entire family out, which made them homeless, after they slowly destroyed my home?

I allowed my husband’s brother and his family to stay with us after they were evicted, hoping to help them out for the sake of the kids. However, despite clear rules—like keeping the place clean and actively job hunting—they repeatedly disrespected my home. Over time, their behavior escalated from leaving dirty dishes everywhere to damaging property, including shattering a precious vase. This accumulation of disrespect pushed me to a breaking point, and I ultimately forced them to leave.

‘AITA for kicking my BIL’s entire family out, which made them homeless, after they slowly destroyed my home?’

Family dynamics in shared living situations can be incredibly challenging, particularly when boundaries are ignored and respect is absent. Dr. Lisa Monroe, a family therapist, notes that “when someone invades your personal space and consistently disrespects the rules, it can lead to significant emotional distress and a sense of powerlessness.” In my case, I set clear expectations from the beginning to ensure that my home remained a safe, orderly environment for my husband and young children.

Unfortunately, the repeated failure to meet these conditions—ranging from neglecting to clean up to outright damaging cherished items—illustrates not only a lack of consideration but also a deep disregard for the efforts I made to help them in the first place. Dr. Monroe emphasizes that living under the same roof as individuals who do not respect your home can quickly turn a temporary solution into a long-term source of stress.

Furthermore, sociologist Dr. Alan Price argues that when temporary housing arrangements become exploitative, it’s crucial to reassert control. “When guests treat your home as a free-for-all, boundaries must be enforced to preserve your quality of life,” he explains. By choosing to expel them after continuous rule-breaking, I was taking a stand not only for my own sanity but for the well-being of my family. Relationship expert Dr. Maria Cortez adds that responsibility in shared living situations must be mutual.

“Your hospitality was an act of goodwill, not a guarantee of endless tolerance for destructive behavior,” she observes. When the children’s behavior resulted in irreversible damage—such as the breaking of a sentimental vase—the situation crossed a threshold that warranted immediate and firm action. Additionally, HR consultant Vanessa Moore points out that maintaining a safe and respectful living environment is non-negotiable.

“When your home becomes a battleground for differing values and careless habits, enforcing clear consequences is both healthy and necessary,” she states. Ultimately, while providing shelter was initially a compassionate decision, ongoing disrespect and property damage justified my decision to enforce the rules strictly. It was not a punitive measure against them personally, but a necessary step to reclaim my home and protect my family’s well-being.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

The Reddit community largely agrees with my decision. Comments like “NTA—if they’re destroying your home, they’re not guests, they’re freeloaders” and “Your place was their last chance; they blew it” are common. Many users highlight that when you invite someone into your home, you set boundaries that they must respect.

If they consistently ignore those rules, it is both fair and necessary to ask them to leave. Several commenters also expressed sympathy for the loss of sentimental items like your vase, noting that property damage is a clear violation of any agreement. The overall consensus is that I was right to stand up for my space, and that my husband’s support confirms the appropriateness of my actions.

In the end, I’m not the a**hole. I extended a helping hand when they needed it most, but when that help was exploited through disrespect and property destruction, I had to take decisive action. My home is my sanctuary, and protecting it—and my family—is paramount. While it pains me that my decision left them homeless, their actions left me no choice. How would you handle a situation where your generosity was taken advantage of? Let me know your thoughts.