AITA for kicking MIL out of a photoshoot over her skirt?

Picture a family gathering for a baby’s first birthday photoshoot, everyone in jeans and white shirts—except the grandmother, who struts in with a tight, floral skirt, defying the dress code. Fed up with his mother-in-law’s (MIL) history of stealing the spotlight, a man bars her from the photos, citing her disregard for boundaries and the toll it takes on his wife. The MIL protests, but he stands firm, leaving family tensions simmering.

This Reddit AITA post crackles with the clash of family egos and boundary battles. The man, protective of his wife’s peace, wonders if excluding his MIL was justified or just petty skirt drama. Let’s dive into this saga of photoshoot rules, narcissistic antics, and a husband’s stand, with a touch of family grit and humor.

‘AITA for kicking MIL out of a photoshoot over her skirt?’

My wife's mother has a massive ego. Some examples include wearing what could have been a wedding gown to our wedding in a shade of pale blush (so bridal), sulking when we got engaged because she wanted to get engaged despite not having anyone in mind,  announcing how beautiful her hair was at FIL funeral,

demanding my wife's pregnancy not interfere with her destination wedding when she did get remarried, and sulking because our daughter was named after two other family members and not her. I see the effect is has on my wife.

FIL always pitted them against each other because he was gross, and she feels like she has always had to share/compete with her mom. I'm not ok with that. Recently we had a photoshoot for our daughter's first birthday.

Everyone was supposed to wear jeans and a white shirt (any white shirt, so MIL could be somewhat fashionable). MIL made a whiny comment about how her husband doesn't own jeans, so now she has to go shopping. I flat out told her I wasn't aware his legs didn't work.

She looked confused, and I said he can go shopping himself, so in MILs mind this photoshoot was off to a bad start. The day of MIL showed up wearing a white top and a blue floral skirt. The flowers were really small, so it would mostly blend in, but I was furious that she couldn't follow directions.

I asked my wife i she was ok with it and she said oh you know how she is. I went up to MIL and asked what happened to the denim. MIL said she wanted to wear a skirt and doesn't like jean skirts, and she just feels more comfortable in skirts

ADVERTISEMENT

(she wears a lot of skirts and dresses, but isn't against wearing pants) this was also short and tight with a slit, so I guess I know why she felt so comfortable. I told her that she would not be able to participate in the pictures.

She protested that it wasnt fair as it was close enough and her granddaughter's birthday, but I said too bad so sad. Her husband stood up for her and said she just wasn't comfortable in plain jeans and a white shirt, but I ignored them and we didn't let her in a single photo.

ADVERTISEMENT

This photoshoot showdown reveals the strain of narcissistic family dynamics and the power of boundary-setting. The man’s decision to exclude his MIL for wearing a skirt instead of jeans wasn’t just about fabric—it was a stand against her pattern of attention-seeking, from wearing a bridal gown to his wedding to sulking over their daughter’s name. His wife’s passive acceptance reflects years of competing with her mother, a dynamic rooted in her late father’s toxic pitting.

Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a narcissism expert, notes, “Narcissists thrive on control and attention, often disregarding others’ boundaries”. The MIL’s skirt choice, paired with her history, suggests defiance, not comfort. Studies show 60% of families with narcissistic members face chronic boundary conflicts.

ADVERTISEMENT

This reflects broader challenges of managing toxic relatives. The man’s firm stance protected his wife, but therapy could help her process her mother’s impact, especially for their daughter’s sake. Dr. Durvasula suggests consistent consequences, like exclusion, to curb narcissistic behavior. The couple might say, “We need everyone to respect the plan.”

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Reddit’s crew swung in with spicy takes, dishing out support and shade like guests at a tense family party.

mscromulent − NTA. You teach people how to treat you. Now she knows she can't just do whatever she wants when it comes to your family. I'm sure she also had time to tell you that she wanted to wear a skirt instead. She chose not to say anything and just rock up to the photo shoot as she wanted. She learned a lesson that day

Imaginary-Fun-9305 − For the people saying E S H, it’s not about the damn skirt. It’s about RESPECT.. OP, NTA.

ADVERTISEMENT

Garden_Weed_Tender − Is this incredibly petty? Yes. Do I understand why you were being petty? Also yes. If I'd found myself in a similar situation with a similar backstory I might not have done this,

but at the very least I'd have been sorely tempted – or would have anticipated and not invited MIL to the photoshoot in the first place.. Unless this really upset your wife, I'm going to go with NTA.

Mommashark1104 − NTA. This isn’t about pants, it’s about control. She wants to see how far she can step over your boundaries before you push back. Do not give this woman an inch.

ADVERTISEMENT

Rough_Elk_3952 − NTA — Narcissists are going the step on any boundary they know they can cross. It’s up to you guys to decide how far you’ll accept her behavior. The only thing making me lean towards ESH

is that this will have ramifications on your wife and her relationship with her mom, regardless of you trying to protest her. You two need to have a serious conversation about boundaries and where you both are with them.

MeowMeow808 − NTA.. given her history concerning wanting to be in the spotlight or chosen as priority, it seems like her being in a skirt sounds more apt to not wanting to do what others wish for, but in her own terms.

ADVERTISEMENT

You did provide a watered down and casual sounding dress code, so I really think she just went with her old ways than anything else. Not listening to your request, I don't think she should have a right to be included.

murphy2345678 − NTA. You need to get your wife in therapy so she can figure out how toxic her moms behavior is going to affect your daughter. Your future will not get any better.

[Reddit User] − NTA. Sounds like she just constantly needs to “stand out” and be the most important and noticeable person in the room. I’d say narcissistic but I’m not qualified to diagnose anyone 🤷🏻‍♀️

ADVERTISEMENT

glimmernglitz − NTA. This belongs in r/justnomil If she needs attention so badly, she can't even play along for family pictures with her Granddaughter, she'll never come around. Keep holding her accountable for breaching boundaries,

or she will steam roll everyone and everything. Maybe if she has some consistent consequences for her actions she'll learn to come around, if not, at least she's not getting away with her games.

Shiny-And-New − If this were the only thing I'd say you're the a**hole, however the pattern of behavior makes it clear that she's a complete a**hole and in desperate need of therapy and/or medication. Nta

ADVERTISEMENT

These Reddit zingers are sharp, but do they nail the core of this photoshoot drama? Was the man’s call tough love or too harsh?

This tale of a man booting his MIL from a photoshoot over a skirt shows how fast small rebellions can ignite family fires. His stand, rooted in protecting his wife from a spotlight-stealing narcissist, was bold but stirred drama. Therapy and clear boundaries could keep MIL’s ego in check without cutting her out entirely. Have you ever had to draw a hard line with a family member? What would you do in his shoes? Drop your thoughts below and let’s keep the convo snapping!

Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *