AITA for Keeping My Late Son’s Electronics From His Mother?
The death of a child is a profound loss, often leaving parents to navigate grief and difficult decisions about what remains. In this Reddit post, a 54-year-old father shares his struggle after losing his 16-year-old son, Arwyn, in a car accident in April. The father, who had full custody of Arwyn after his ex-wife stepped away years ago, now faces a dispute with her over their son’s belongings. While he allowed his older children to take sentimental items, he declined his ex-wife’s request for Arwyn’s electronics, citing their personal significance.
The situation has escalated into a conflict about fairness and intent. The father values the gadgets—Arwyn’s phone, laptop, and PS5—for the memories they hold, such as photos and unfinished schoolwork. His ex-wife, however, sees his refusal as selfish, leading to accusations and emotional strain. This story examines the complexities of grief and the rights to a loved one’s possessions.
‘AITA for not giving my deceased son’s belongings away?’
The loss of a child creates unique challenges for parents, particularly when it comes to handling their belongings. In this case, the father’s decision to retain Arwyn’s electronics reflects a need to preserve his son’s memory. These items—containing photos, texts, and academic work—serve as a tangible link to a life cut short. His ex-wife’s request for the same items, however, appears driven by practical rather than emotional motives, given their strained relationship and her focus on the gadgets’ utility.
Dr. Alan Wolfelt, a grief expert, notes, “Possessions of the deceased often become sacred to those left behind, offering comfort and a sense of connection” (Center for Loss & Life Transition). The father’s reluctance aligns with this, while his ex-wife’s reaction suggests a disconnect from Arwyn’s emotional legacy. Studies show that 70% of bereaved individuals find solace in keeping personal items (Grief Recovery Institute, 2023), supporting his stance.
This situation highlights broader issues of grief and entitlement. The father’s offer of alternative items was reasonable, but communication broke down. A potential solution could involve backing up the digital content for safekeeping, allowing limited sharing if appropriate. For now, his priority remains valid: honoring Arwyn’s memory.
Take a look at the comments from fellow users:
Reddit users provided a range of responses, focusing on the father’s rights and his ex-wife’s motives. Their comments are included below: These opinions offer perspectives on grief, fairness, and family dynamics, reflecting community sentiment on the issue.
This story reveals the emotional weight of deciding who inherits a loved one’s belongings after death. The father’s choice to keep Arwyn’s electronics stems from a desire to maintain a connection to his son, while his ex-wife’s insistence has deepened their rift. It raises questions about how grief shapes such decisions and who has a claim to a child’s legacy.
Should personal attachment outweigh practical requests in these situations? Readers are encouraged to share their thoughts and experiences on navigating loss and family disputes.
