AITA for “keeping my daughter away from her mom”?

A father who relocated to another country with his daughter is now facing accusations from his ex that he is keeping their child away from her mother. The move placed nearly 12 hours between them, making even simple phone calls a logistical challenge.

The core issue is timing. The daughter suggested a 9pm call in her new time zone, which would be 9am for her mom. But her mother insists on calling at 5pm her own time — which translates to 5am where the daughter now lives. The father refused to wake his child before dawn, and the disagreement has since turned into a bitter blame game.

‘AITA for “keeping my daughter away from her mom”?’

A major move created a massive time difference challenge.

My daughter and I move to another country a few months ago. It's exactly on the other side of the world from where we used to live, that means that...

This has caused many problems with communication between my daughter and her mom. They can't agree on when she should call my daughter.

My daughter has told her that calling her at 9pm in our time would be good for both of them since it will be 9am in their time,

but my ex claims that she can't call at that time because she has a baby and a toddler who wake up at around 8-9 so she is too busy...

The disagreement escalated over early morning calls.

My ex thinks she should be able to call at 5pm at their time which will be 5am at our time. I told her absolutely not since my daughter needs...

and I won't wake her up at 5am. Also my daughter loves her sleep and she doesn't want to wake up any sooner than she has to.

Accusations followed when no compromise was reached.

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Now my ex thinks I'm an a__hole for "keeping my daughter away from her" She claims I "stole" her and took her to another country and now I won't even...

In this situation, the central issue is not access, but timing. Children, especially school-aged ones, rely heavily on consistent sleep schedules for academic performance and emotional stability. Requesting a 5am wake-up for routine calls places the burden of adjustment entirely on the child rather than the adult. From a developmental standpoint, protecting rest is a reasonable boundary.

On the other hand, relocating across the world does significantly impact the non-custodial parent’s access. Without full context about the legality or circumstances of the move, it is understandable why the mother may feel displaced or resentful. Long-distance parenting requires flexibility and sacrifice from both sides. However, compromise typically involves adults adjusting their routines before expecting children to do so.

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At a broader level, this dispute highlights how unresolved feelings about separation or relocation can surface in practical disagreements. When scheduling becomes symbolic of control or fairness, communication can break down quickly. Successful co-parenting across time zones depends on prioritizing the child’s well-being over personal inconvenience.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Many commenters sided with the father, prioritizing the child’s sleep and routine.

Haunting-Juice983 − Way too much information missing to make a judgement Why did you move half way around the world? How old is the daughter? She claims you ‘stole her’...

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Glittering_Mouse2728 − NTA What i hear is "i have other kids i care about more". No wonder you have full custody. Why can't she call at 7 or 8?? Why...

Regular_Swordfish_85 − NTA, It's doable taking care of a toddler and make a phone call, I think she is trying to make this situation harder.

Reasonable-Sale8611 − 7 pm your time would work. Mom would have to wake up early, before her children, because it would be her 7 am; but I think it's more...

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Pleasant-Koala147 − NTA. As a teacher, I’m very concerned that your ex expects your daughter to get up at 5am just to talk. This will leave her tired for the...

So I would say that if a very reasonable refusal. 10 pm is also too late as (ideally) she should be sleeping by then (not always possible for teens, but...

If ex’s children sleep till 8am, calling before then would both give her time to speak to your daughter at a reasonable time.

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She can’t expect a child to be the adult and sacrifice to accommodate her. She’s the adult, she needs to find a way to make it work.

Others felt key details were missing or encouraged compromise.

SunshineShoulders87 − Provided moving your daughter across the world from her mom is truly legal and in her best interests, NTA.

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It sounds like there could be much better times, but they interfere too much with your ex’s new life too much for her to consider them. Somehow the only one...

SexyFoodandFilms − INFO: why cant it be 10 am her time and 10 pm your time?

A few highlighted the broader context behind the relocation.

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bizianka − NTA. First, moving a teen girl away from Iran seems like a good thing. Unless you moved to North Korea. Second, it seem everybody in this story -...

your ex- are actually are fine with low contact as nobody actually wants to make any effort to find compromise. Keeping in contact is not only on you, but on...

[Reddit User] − NTA Taking a young girl out of Iran is pertinent information that should be included in your post, because it absolutely makes a difference when you’re leaving...

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While there are plenty of issues with women’s rights in the US, they aren’t like what a woman experiences simply for existing as a woman in Iran and your daughter...

She could absolutely call your daughter at 9pm your time or 7 or 8pm her time and would likely have no issues reaching her. I’m not sure if you’re the...

but your story sounds incredibly similar and IIRC in that scenario the mother absolutely will not willingly leave the country and found nothing wrong with the treatment of girls and...

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Regardless of whether or not that’s the same post, if she holds similar thoughts then it could absolutely be a sense of control. A “see, even if you’re not here...

Sweet_Cinnabonn − NTA - doesn't matter why you moved. What matters is mom wants to call at 5am. 5. A. M.

I don't need to ask other questions about mom's parenting. Mom's priorities are clear. Mom can get up at 5am if she needs kid free time to talk.

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This situation shows how quickly logistical challenges can turn into emotional accusations when co-parenting across continents. While the mother feels excluded, the father argues that protecting his daughter’s sleep and routine must come first.

When time zones make communication difficult, who should adjust — the adult or the child? Is refusing a 5am call reasonable, or should more compromise be expected after an international move? Share your perspective below.

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