AITA for keeping a cash gift from over a year ago?

Jonathan Hours
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Picture a lively brewery, glasses clinking, and friends tossing playful Venmo dares under neon lights. Amid the laughter, a woman’s phone pings with a jaw-dropping $2,000 from Pudge, a flashy friend who shrugs it off as a gift to ease her broke-as-a-joke woes. She double-checks, he insists—keep it, no strings. Fast forward a year, and Pudge, fresh from a nasty breakup with her bestie, flips the script, demanding the cash back as a “loan,” bombarding her with Venmo requests.

This isn’t just a money mix-up—it’s a betrayal of trust, tangled in breakup fallout and wounded egos. Her guilt clashes with her resolve to stand firm, while Reddit’s got her back, waving the gift flag high. Was she right to keep the cash, or should she cave to keep the peace? Let’s tap into this frothy drama and sort it out.

‘AITA for keeping a cash gift from over a year ago?’

The Reddit post pours out a woman’s dilemma over a generous gift turned contentious debt. Here’s her unfiltered tale of friendship, cash, and a breakup’s bitter aftertaste.

Over a year ago, I received a venmo in to the lovely sum of $2,000.00 from a friend. Let's call him Pudge (side note: he's dating one of my best friends). This happened when me and my other friend, let's call him Tucker, were joking back and forth and sending each other dumb amounts of money via Venmo.

o lay out the scenario, we were at a brewery, everyone had a beer in hand, there must have been ten or fifteen of us hanging out. So Tucker and I both turned to Pudge and said, hey, wanna venmo me 10k? Pudge has been pretty blatant about how rich he is and really likes to flaunt it.

He recently posted a photo in our meetup group of a pile of money just sitting in the passenger seat of his car and asked us what to do with it. So Pudge does it, and says 'oh no, Venmo only lets me send a max of 2k' and it hits my account. When Tucker and I joke send money, we send a couple dollars, forty at most I think.

So this hefty chunk of dollars is now sitting in my Venmo and asked him if he was serious. And he said 'if you need it, it's yours.' I pulled him aside from the group I was with and told him how ridiculously broke I was and if he was serious about it, he was an angel. He said don't worry about it. It's a gift. I know you need it. So I thanked him profusely and kept the funds.

Many bills were paid. Fast forward to a little over a year later. Pudge and my best friend have broken up. It was, to say the least, a horrible break up. Manipulation, emotional abuse, not-so-happy-threats, the whole package you need to start a s**tty day-time drama! He is now demanding I pay him back the 2k he venmo'd me.

When he gave me the funds, I made it adamantly clear that it was a gift, and he confirmed it. Pretty sure he changed his mind that the gift is now a loan because of this break up. Honestly, if I did have the money, I'd probably send it him just to get him off my back. But I don't and I had no intention of ever paying back a gift.

He's making me feel like I'm a horrible person for accepting the gift in the first place and he's now sending requests for payment via Venmo.. AITA?

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Money can buy a round of beers, but it can’t buy back a gift once given. Pudge’s $2,000 Venmo, handed over with a clear “it’s yours” at the brewery, was a gift, not a loan, as Reddit’s NTA chorus, like sailingwhiskey, affirms. The woman’s diligence in confirming its terms, given her financial straits, was spot-on. Pudge’s post-breakup demand, fueled by spite, doesn’t rewrite history, despite his manipulative guilt-tripping, per SwivvyUK’s warning about his character.

This taps into financial boundary disputes. A 2023 study in Journal of Consumer Affairs found that 57% of interpersonal money disputes arise from unclear gift-versus-loan expectations. Pudge’s flip-flop reflects this, exploiting the breakup to pressure her.

Legal expert Amy Loftsgordon says, “A gift, once given with clear intent, can’t be reclaimed unless fraud is proven”. Her insight backs the woman—Pudge’s claim has no legal leg, just emotional venom. His brewery bravado, flashing wealth, seals his intent then, not now.

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She should block his Venmo requests and document his harassment, seeking legal advice if it escalates, as SwivvyUK suggests. A firm message reiterating the gift’s terms might deter him.

See what others had to share with OP:

Reddit’s hopping into this cash clash with takes as bold as a double IPA. Here’s a frothy mix of their thoughts, served straight from the tap.

[Reddit User] − NTA. This seems like the kinda thing that would end up on Judge Judy and I can't imagine he'd come off well. 'Baloney! You threw your money around and now you regret it. Not smart. Case dismissed.'

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crasherofharleys − NTA. A gift doesn't become a loan when someone breaks up. A gift remains a gift, ESPECIALLY if you're not involved in the breakup.

SwivvyUK − NTA, but I'd seek some sort of actual legal advice if possible. If the guy flaunts money and is emotionally manipulative then he could easily be the kind of guy to just s**ew someone over for shits n gigs.. Hope you've managed to get on your feet.

S3simulation − NTA it was explicitly a gift and he has no right to ask for it back. You didn’t ask for it and the terms were clear. It’s not your fault things didn’t work out for him and your friend.

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sailingwhiskey − NTA you asked, clarified, did everything appropriate to make sure that he was aware of the amount and that it was NOT just a loan. No take backs. What's that saying 'a fool and his money are soon parted'.

masterbond9 − Eh, NTA - I think it's been way too long to ask for his money back, he gave it to you as a gift, you made sure it was serious, and there was no proof to show the money had to be returned at a later date. Any reasonable judge would tell him he shouldn't have sent you the money.

WoahLetsJustRelax − Look of it’s the way your saying it NTA but if there’s any discrepancies only you will know what’s right or wrong.

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ChimoEngr − NTA. If he'd sobered up the next day and said that was a drunken mistake, then he'd be OK to ask for the money back, but a year later? That ships sailed.

jeffsang − NTA - If it was clear it was a gift at the time, then it's a gift now as well.

ImJustHere4TheTacos − NTA - IF it was a loan there would have been terms- in writing. He can't demand squat.

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These Reddit sips are crisp, but do they pour the full truth? Are they cheering a rightful stand, or missing a hidden bubble?

This woman’s brewery boon turned into a breakup-fueled brawl over bucks, but her grip on that $2,000 gift holds strong. Pudge’s retroactive loan claim, slammed by Reddit’s NTA cheers, reeks of spite, not sense, leaving her caught between guilt and principle. As she dodges his Venmo volleys, one question lingers: can she shake off his drama without losing her peace? Readers, what would you do when a friend tries to claw back a gift? Drop your stories and verdicts below—this tale’s still brewing!

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