AITA for joking about my genetic disorder?

An 18-year-old man shared a deeply personal story about living with a rare genetic disorder that affected his development. The condition prevented his body from producing enough testosterone, meaning his puberty and physical development were significantly delayed and different from what he expected growing up.

After receiving the diagnosis as an adult, he learned that earlier medical attention might have prevented many of the complications he now faces. While the news was painful for both him and his parents, he gradually began coping with the situation through humor—making lighthearted jokes about himself in everyday conversations. His mother, however, finds those jokes difficult to hear.

‘AITA for joking about my genetic disorder?’

The poster began by explaining the rare condition that changed his life.

I have a rare genetic disorder that causes my body to produce almost no testosterone. It means that without taking medications my body wouldn't develop s__ually.

Genitals wouldn't grow, i wouldn't develop any typical male's traits and i wouldn't experience s__ual attraction.

He believes earlier medical care might have prevented many of the consequences.

If the disorder is detected early the puberty can be standard, just a little bit late. My wasn't. It is pretty obvious that my parents fucked up.

I told them that i was concerned about my puberty a couple times but they said i was a late bloomer. I accepted it and waited patiently. When i was...

I went to the doctor and got diagnosed. In brief: I am an 18 years old with vestigial genitalia and asexual body makeup, no sexuall attraction and i will likely...

To cope with the emotional weight, he began using humor about the situation.

This all could be avoided if my parents took me to the doctor when i was young. I was very sad when i found out, and so were my parents.

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I don't blame them (openly) but my mom knows it's their fault and is apologetic about it. She gets very sad whenever this subject comes up.

It was very hard for me too, but as i have a cheerfull character i try to turn my sadness into the jokes.The jokes are something like this: Sister: I...

Me: Well but you are not an asexual gnome so i will give you the primacy. If anyone else told joke like this i would get very angry, but when...

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But my mom gets very annoyed whenever i say something like this. She gets upset and asks me not to joke about it. I don't get it. If i do...

I get that their n__lect (kind of) ruined my life and she regrets that but she can't just get sad whenever i mention my condition. AITA for refusing to stop...

Humor is a widely recognized coping mechanism when people face difficult life circumstances. Many individuals dealing with chronic conditions or life-altering diagnoses use jokes as a way to process emotions, reduce stress, and reclaim a sense of control over their situation. In this case, the poster appears to be using humor as a personal strategy to navigate disappointment and uncertainty about his future.

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At the same time, family members can experience the situation from a very different emotional perspective. The poster’s mother likely carries a strong sense of guilt because the diagnosis came later than it might have. Every joke referencing the condition may unintentionally remind her of that mistake, making the humor feel less like coping and more like a painful reminder of something she cannot undo.

These contrasting emotional responses are common in families dealing with health-related challenges. One person may process the experience through openness and humor, while another responds with regret and sensitivity. Navigating these differences often requires communication that acknowledges both perspectives—the individual’s right to express themselves and the family member’s emotional reaction to the situation.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Many users supported the poster’s right to use humor as a coping method.

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WholeESheep − NAH - You’re allowed to make jokes about yourself. It’s understandable why it might make her uncomfortable though.

[Reddit User] − NTA it’s how you’re coping. Your parents might be sad but. ..they fucked up big time. They need to learn from this.

svensktillverkade − Nta. I have autism and I make fun of it all the time. For example I'm 17 however I still wear my "please be patient I have autism...

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TheGamerTrainer − NAH- I have a rare genetic disorder as (Neurofibromatosis type 1) and I joke about it a lot it makes me feel better, however I understand why your...

Nitta66 − NTA. You should cope with your issue however you see fit.

Some commenters offered balanced perspectives, acknowledging both sides of the situation.

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chloeoliviarr − NAH. Considering you keep mentioning the fact that it was your parent’s fault, I’m guessing you’re not completely over it.

Understandably it could have been prevented. I get you subside serious situations and like to make jokes about it but it’s probably just a constant reminder for her, and she...

_The_Alpha_ − NAH, I'd say you're free to joke about yourself if you choose to do so. However: If anyone else told joke like this i would get very angry,...

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Just want to note that if you joke with someone about it, they may get the impression that it's okay to joke back, so be prepared for that possibility.

Just wondering, did you not have any annual check ups or regular doctor visits in your teen years?

[Reddit User] − NAH You joking about it reminds her of the mistake she made, however, it’s your condition that you should be allowed to talk about in any way...

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Others focused on the emotional complexity between the poster and his parents.

G5TWA1 − NTA- your mom gets annoyed because she feels guilty and because she knows you blame her and your father,

I don't think you should stop making jokes but if you stop being passive-agressive and be honest to your mom you'll probably fill much better

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pinkpancake525 − NAH. I'm sorry your mom finds it upsetting. But it is YOUR genetic disorder and YOU are finding the best way to live with it. If joking makes...

But I would find a nice, gentle way to explain that this is your way of coping and if she's not okay with it because it makes her upset (since...

This story highlights how people cope with life-changing diagnoses in very different ways. For the poster, humor became a tool for managing sadness and accepting a difficult reality. For his mother, those same jokes may serve as a painful reminder of something she wishes she could change. When families navigate health challenges together, emotional responses rarely align perfectly. Some people process pain through lighthearted comments, while others need time and quiet reflection. Finding a balance between those approaches can be complicated but meaningful.

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Do you think humor is an appropriate way to cope with deeply personal struggles? And when personal coping methods affect family members emotionally, how should people balance their own healing with the feelings of those around them?

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