AITA for intentionally giving my parents an invitation with the wrong time and address on it for my wedding?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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The wedding bells were set to chime, but James felt a knot tighten as he thought of his parents, ghosts from a messy past. In a sunlit café, he and his fiancée, Mia, planned their dream day, determined to keep it free from family chaos. James’s parents begged to attend, their voices dripping with old promises, but trust was a bridge long burned—especially with uncles and brothers he’d rather forget.

When James hatched a sly plan to hand his parents a fake invite, his grin hid a flicker of guilt. Readers might chuckle, picturing the chaos he dodged, or wince at the family rift. His story spins a tale of love, loyalty, and a cheeky gambit to guard one perfect day. Can a white lie save a wedding, or does it cut deeper than planned?

‘AITA for intentionally giving my parents an invitation with the wrong time and address on it for my wedding?’

Removed from the other sub because apparently planning ahead is now considered revenge. I do not talk much with my parents or my family. We all prefer it that way. Lots of history I will not get into. I especially loathe my uncles and my brothers. I met my wife in nursing school.

She is amazing and we are going to have a great life together. I didn't want to invite my parents and my wife was cool with that. We paid for everything ourselves so they didn't really have any say in the matter. I did inform them that we were getting married. They begged to come.

I agreed on the condition that they couldn't tell anyone else much less add to our guest list. I did not trust them. So I had the printers make up a few

I had one of my cousins whom I love and has gone NC with his family babysit them the day of the wedding. They have a tendency to be late. I had him lie to them and say we were doing the formals first so they had to be dressed and ready to go early. He got them to the church on time.

The ceremony went well. They did not embarrass themselves by frantically calling everyone they invited. We did our pictures and they begged me to tell them the actual location of the reception. I said that wasn't happening. They were welcome to either come as guests or leave. They left. My cousin drove them home.

They tried to bribe him to tell them where the reception was. He says he laughed at them. None of those people know how to contact me so no flying monkeys. But my mom and dad are upset because they got a lot of grief from people they told about the wedding. I know it was stupid to even invite them. Please don't rub it in. It was hard to see them begging and not give in a little.

Weddings should spark joy, not family feuds, but James’s fake invite shows how far some go to keep the peace. His parents’ pleas clashed with a history of betrayal, pushing James to prioritize his and Mia’s happiness over shaky trust. Their attempt to sneak in uninvited guests proved his instincts right, but the lie left them fuming, caught in their own trap.

Event planner David Tutera, in a 2023 Brides article, says, “Your wedding is your story—set boundaries to protect it, but communicate clearly to avoid hurt.” A 2022 WeddingWire survey found 45% of couples face family meddling, often over guest lists. James’s stunt was bold, dodging drama, but risks long-term grudges.

His parents’ pushiness justified caution, yet honesty might’ve set firmer lines. Tutera suggests written agreements for tricky guests to clarify rules. James could’ve warned them outright—no extras, or no entry. Readers, ever had to gatekeep your big day? How’d you balance love and limits?

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit’s crew jumped into James’s tale like it’s a heist flick, cheering his cunning or debating the fallout with gusto. It’s like a backyard barbecue where everyone’s got a story and a side to pick. Here’s the unfiltered buzz, packed with laughs and lessons:

rubiepistol − NTA and these people saying you are are dumb. It is not your responsibility to babysit the people that your parents invited. You did what you had to do to have your parents there but still have a drama less day. I could see doing the same.

Utter_cockwomble − NTA. My dad had to lie to his own sisters about the time if their mother's funeral, as they are consistently hours late to any function. He told them it started at 9. It actually didn't start until 10:30. They arrived at 10- an hour after the time they were told to be there.

For their mother's funeral! Keep in mind we're Catholic, so it's not like we could have held up the service for them- the church and the priest have schedules. After my dad passed (yes we had to lie about his too) I just stopped inviting them to things. Baby shower from 1-4? They'd show up at 3:45 and be mad the gifts were opened and the food was gone. Last I heard most of the family had done the same.

butterflyprinces872 − NTA they literally proved you right. They can take a hike

Wide-Serve-1287 − NTA, and shout out to the hero of this story, your cousin! I love them for you.

Ipso-Pacto-Facto − Sometimes when famous people want to find out who the mole who is selling information is in their circle of trust, they plant different information with different people. Because they could come to the reception as guests, I’m not sure why what you did was wrong. Were you thinking they would text the uninvited guests to just show up to the reception when they got there? Still a risk.

SoberWriter1024 − NTA - My mother announced to everyone that her

She also proclaimed to everyone in an elevator I was

Whole-Ad-2347 −

I was invited to a Thanksgiving dinner years ago. One of the guests was notoriously late. She was 2 hours late for dinner. I told the host that the way to deal with people like this is to tell them the wrong time, so that when they think they are 2 hours late, they are actually on time. The other thing for a situation like that would be to eat at the announced time.

MizzyvonMuffling − BRILLIANT!!! Post it on all the wedding subs because great stuff!! Much more couples need to do it exactly that way!

administrativenothin − NTA. You absolutely did the right thing. Your parents FAFO-ed. Side note, why does anyone bother posting on the other sub? They delete posts and block people over the most ridiculous s**t.

No_Adhesiveness2480 − NTA. I wish I had lied about the time of my wedding but only to get everyone there on time. I was 20 min late to the ceremony because of my mother - we were traveling in the same car and she took forever to finish getting ready.

Then once we get there, we had to wait another 45 min to a hour for my mil and sil to arrive. I was fuming. It was an outdoor ceremony, it was hot and humid and about to rain, my feet were killing me. My dad whose temper I inherited was the one trying to calm me down telling me everything would be okay.

The pastor also needed to go deliver a sermon at his church, so he and to cut down on a lot and the whole ceremony lasted maybe 15 minutes.. If I knew then what I know now, I would've walked down the aisle without waiting for them.
These Redditors are living for James’s slick move, hailing his cousin as MVP or swapping their own tales of tardy kin. Some see genius; others spy future family shade. But do their cheers catch the whole vibe, or are they just hyped for the plot twist? One thing’s clear—James’s wedding caper’s got everyone talking. What’s your take on his sneaky play?

James’s story is a wild ride of love, cunning, and family dodged like a pro. His fake invite kept the wedding sparkling, but left his parents stewing in their own mess. Was it a masterstroke or a step too far? Mia and James danced into their future, but bridges may stay burned. If you had to outsmart family for your big day, how’d you pull it off? Spill your thoughts below—let’s unpack this wedding win!

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