AITA For Insisting On Vacations With My Boyfriend While His Parents Blame Me For His Failing Grades?

We all know that stressful feeling when life’s demands pile up and a relaxing getaway seems like the only cure. For one twenty-two-year-old woman, planning a romantic getaway with her longtime partner felt like a healthy way to recharge after grueling college exams. Instead, it ignited a fierce family drama.

Her twenty-three-year-old boyfriend is severely behind in his engineering degree, a secret he hid from his parents for months. Now that the truth is out, his mother has pointed the finger squarely at their relationship, banning them from taking a camping trip and a week-long getaway to Cape Verde.

While his family insists he needs to stay home and study, she believes their relationship shouldn’t suffer for his academic struggles, especially since he has no trouble taking trips with other people. Curious how this collegiate drama unfolded? The full story is right below.

AITA For Insisting On Vacations With My Boyfriend While His Parents Blame Me For His Failing Grades?

AITAH for wanting to take vacations with my boyfriend even though he’s behind in university?

A young couple’s future hangs in the balance as a hidden academic crisis finally comes to light. For years, the boyfriend managed to keep his failing grades a secret, but the truth always has a way of surfacing, especially when travel plans are on the line.

I (22F) have been with my boyfriend (23M) for several years. He started studying engineering in 2022, but he has fallen behind and has not completed his bachelor's degree yet....

Ever since he started university, his mother has strongly opposed any vacation we planned together, saying he should stay home and study instead. What has always confused me is that...

Those trips were never treated as a problem. When it came to traveling with me, however, there was always an argument.

With plans for a tropical escape on the horizon, the fragile truce between the young couple and his family completely shatters. As they attempt to map out their summer, the boyfriend’s academic shortcomings become the ultimate battleground.

Because of all the pressure, we barely traveled over the last two years. Last year, we only spent four days at the beach after our exam session, and even those...

This year, he finally passed one of his exams with a good grade, and after finishing his June/July exams, we wanted to go camping for a few days. After his...

They believe he should transfer to an easier university and think any vacation will only make him fall further behind. I completely understand why they are worried about his academic...

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We are not talking about skipping classes or traveling during exams; we are talking about taking a break after weeks or months of studying. I also feel that relationships need...

Life will likely become much busier in the future with full-time jobs, possible children, and other responsibilities. I do not think vacations are the reason he is behind academically. His...

Community Opinions

The Reddit community was sharply divided, with many calling out the couple's apparent financial privilege while others pointed out the mother's unfair double standards.

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u/snookert
How are you guys even able to afford vacations without full time jobs? 

u/Beastiebibe YTA "This year he finally passed one of his exams with a good grade." This tells me everything I need to know, and why HE shouldn't be planning vacations...

u/Egoy NTA for wanting to take a break but I have to ask how are you paying for these trips? When I was an engineering student I could barely afford...

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u/bakedbaker319 I have to say if my kids were falling behind they wouldn’t be planning vacations they would be working with a tutor to try and get caught up. Even...

u/Life-Education-8030
He is the AH if he wants to take vacations with anybody given his academic status.

u/Bidampira
YTA.
I can see why his mum is against vacation only with you.
You don't seem to care that he is falling behind.

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u/Ambitious_Revenue_84 Are the parents paying for his extended tuition? Maybe that’s why they want him to study….. he’s been falling behind but it’s they who pick up the tab for...

u/Fit_Reason7319
Who is funding these vacations?
Has he considered changing his area of study?

u/Equivalent_Lemon_319 So it’s been years and he’s only just passed one exam? This guy should not be traveling. I think you’re deflecting blame on his parents, when the issue is...

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u/bossmaneliya Kinda YTA kinda NTA… I understand where they are coming from and why they disagree with the vacations. You are not inherently wrong for wanting quality time and adventure...

u/LeadInfinite6220
NTA — but his parents don’t like you and — I’m guessing — subconsciously blame you for his academic situation.

u/Used_Astronomer_4196
Your boyfriend is irresponsible. I don’t blame his parents for now allowing trips with you. 

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u/celticmusebooks
I have a sneaking suspicion that his academic decline started with him dating you. Who would be paying for these vacations?

u/Few_Fall_7027
You are both adults and as long as you both are paying for the vacation, he doesn't need his parents permission.

u/EmceeSuzy It seems like a very entitled thought process. This man is twenty three years old and is yet to complete his undergrad degree. His parents, who likely support him...

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Ultimately, many commenters urged the original poster to take a hard look at her boyfriend's maturity level before planning their next big getaway.

Balancing the need for romantic quality time with the heavy realities of adulthood and academic responsibility is never an easy task. It is clear that while taking a break is essential for mental health, building a stable future requires earning the independence to make those choices. Without financial independence, planning luxury trips will always come with strings attached.

Do you think the parents are justified in restricting his travel due to his poor grades, or is the mother unfairly targeting their relationship? And how would you handle a partner who is struggling to balance their responsibilities?

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Drop your thoughts in the comments.

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