AITA for insisting my SIL to visit us more when she is a busy resident doctor and she says she can’t?
The kitchen table sat quiet, save for the soft hum of a baby monitor, as a woman scrolled through old photos of her and her brother, their laughter frozen in time. Once inseparable, living just minutes apart, their bond felt strained now—her brother and his wife, a resident physician, lived seven hours away, their visits rare. Her heart ached for the uncle she envisioned for her toddler, but his wife’s grueling 80-hour workweeks left little room for family road trips.
Frustration bubbled as she watched them jet off to Hawaii or Cancun during precious time off, while her pleas for visits went unanswered. With a young child and a full-time job, traveling to them was no small feat. Yet, her brother’s defense of his wife’s mental health and demanding schedule left her questioning her stance. Reddit’s verdict cut through the fog of this family standoff.
‘AITA for insisting my SIL to visit us more when she is a busy resident doctor and she says she can’t?’
This sibling rift reveals the pain of unmet expectations. The OP’s desire for her brother’s presence as an uncle clashes with his wife’s reality as a resident physician, whose 60-80-hour weeks leave her exhausted. OP’s push for more visits, despite the 7-hour drive, feels like a demand on their limited time. Her brother’s defense of his wife’s need for rest underscores the toll of her high-stress career.
Psychologist Dr. Susan Krauss Whitbourne emphasizes, “Empathy in family conflicts builds bridges” (source: Psychology Today). OP overlooks her SIL’s burden, where 28% of residents face depression symptoms (source: JAMA). The SIL’s vacations or shorter trips to her nearby family prioritize mental health, not neglect of OP. OP’s expectation that they prioritize her assumes their challenges are less valid.
This reflects broader tensions when family roles shift. OP’s sense of entitlement to her brother’s time risks straining their bond. Compromise, like meeting halfway or video calls, could help. Acknowledging her SIL’s workload while expressing her own needs might foster understanding.
Open dialogue, perhaps with a therapist, could align expectations. OP could explore alternatives like day trips, while her brother and SIL might share their constraints. Empathy—OP for her SIL’s stress, the couple for OP’s longing—can rebuild their connection without demands.
Here’s how people reacted to the post:
Reddit users sided against the OP, criticizing her lack of empathy for her SIL’s exhausting schedule. They argued that expecting a 14-hour round-trip for a brief visit was unfair, especially when the SIL’s rare time off is vital for her mental health. Vacations like Hawaii were seen as restorative, unlike family visits with a toddler.
The community highlighted OP’s double standard—dismissing her SIL’s stress while citing her own parenting challenges. They urged respect for her brother’s new life and his wife’s career, suggesting compromise over demands to maintain family ties.
This family drama underscores the delicate dance of maintaining closeness when lives pull in different directions. The OP’s push for more visits from her overworked SIL reveals a clash of expectations, where empathy could bridge the gap. With her brother balancing his wife’s mental health and a once-tight sibling bond, the path forward lies in mutual understanding. How would you navigate this tug-of-war between family and personal limits? Share your thoughts below!
