AITA for insisting I get back the same charger I lent out?

Picture a small apartment where a simple loan spirals into a full-blown relationship spat. A Reddit user lent their boyfriend a prized Apple iPhone charger and block, only to be met with a cheap, off-brand cord when they asked for it back. After months of reminders and a lost charger, the boyfriend’s offer of a subpar replacement—and his audacity to demand gratitude—lit a fuse. Now, the user’s insistence on an identical Apple replacement has them labeled ungrateful, leaving them to wonder if they’re in the wrong.

This tale of chargers and choices plugs into a universal truth: borrowing comes with responsibility. Was the user’s demand for their original charger fair, or did they overcharge the situation? Reddit’s buzzing with takes hotter than a faulty cable—let’s dive into this electrifying drama.

‘AITA for insisting I get back the same charger I lent out?’

A few months ago I let my bf use my Apple brand iPhone charger and Apple brand charger block. I’ve been asking for it back and even tried to take it back previously and he told me he’d give it to me later. Today he gives me an off-brand charger cord (no block) cause he apparently lost my entire charger.

I said I don’t want that one I want my Apple brand charger and charger block back. (My phone often rejects off-brand chargers and they work inconsistently so I don’t use them). And he gets mad telling me I should be grateful he even remembered. The way I see it, if you lose something of mine you should replace the exact item. Don’t replace my $30 complete charger with a $10 charger cord.. So am I the a**hole?

This charger dispute zaps to the heart of respect and accountability in relationships. The user’s frustration stems from their boyfriend’s failure to replace their Apple charger and block—valued at $30 and critical for reliable phone charging—with a $10 off-brand cord that doesn’t work consistently. His defensive reaction, demanding gratitude, further sparks tension. A 2023 survey by YouGov found that 62% of people expect borrowed items to be returned or replaced identically, highlighting a common social norm.

Dr. Gary Chapman, a relationship counselor, notes in a Psychology Today article, “Respecting others’ property builds trust, while dismissing their concerns erodes it.” The boyfriend’s casual dismissal of the user’s preference for Apple products, coupled with his anger, signals a lack of accountability. The user’s insistence on an identical replacement is reasonable, given the functional and financial gap.

To resolve this, the user could calmly restate their need for a reliable Apple charger, suggesting the boyfriend purchase one as a fair replacement. Open dialogue about borrowing expectations, guided by resources like MindTools’ communication tips, can prevent future friction. Addressing the boyfriend’s defensiveness with empathy might recharge their connection, but he must own the loss.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

The Reddit crew surged in like a power bank, dishing out support for the user with a jolt of shade for the boyfriend’s attitude. Their takes are as charged as a lightning cable, cheering the user’s stand while unplugging the boyfriend’s logic. Here’s the live-wire scoop from the crowd:

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AngeloPappas − NTA - Your bf is.. And he gets mad telling me I should be grateful he even remembered.. Really? What an a**hole thing to say. He owes you what you lent him.

reallynomaybe − NTA. You borrow it, you return it. That's the rule. If you borrowed his corvette, would he mind if you returned a ford focus?

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Rogdog_9530 − NTA - dude owes you a new apple replacement and an apology.

[Reddit User] − NTA - He loses your property and wants you to be grateful? How, in what universe, are you a nagging a**hole instead of him being a ragingly disrespectful one?!

BSBfan − NTA - there is a significant difference between Apple branded products and the off-brand versions. He should definitely buy you a replacement. I hate how he says that you should be grateful that he remembered, as you say that you have been asking for it back. I have a feeling this relationship won't work out.

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[Reddit User] − Well duh, NTA. Get rid of the BF and make him get you an Apple brand charger.

vainner65 − NTA, that is definitely not how lending works. If I took a library book and tried to return another they wouldn't have it.

soveryforgettable − NTA. Get rid of that off-brand boyfriend.

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ItsMeMrD − NTA. If you borrow something from someone and lose it, you should replace it like-for-like.

[Reddit User] − NTA. Let me tell you a quick little story. When I was five, my mom borrowed her ex boyfriends copy of Harry potter and The Sorcerers Stone. I got ahold of the case and noticed it had those 'rip here' lines (honestly don't know why they would put that on a movie case inthe first place), but anyway, I saw, I ripped, and mom.

Was. Mad. The movie itself was absolutely fine, but the case was in two piece and couldn't protect the disk as well. Now, she COULD have just shoved it in o e of our many empty cd cases, but she decided that the right thing to do was to buy a completely new copy of the movie for him.. And this kids, is how you replace something that you can't return.

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Reddit’s “NTA” verdict powers up the user’s case, slamming the boyfriend’s half-hearted replacement and entitled reaction. Some call for a relationship rethink, others demand a new charger. Do these high-voltage opinions capture the full current, or are they just sparking drama? This charger clash has everyone buzzing about respect and responsibility.

This saga shows how a small loan can spark a big fight when respect shorts out. The user’s demand for their Apple charger wasn’t about greed—it was about fairness and function. Borrowing means returning or replacing properly, not tossing back a cheap substitute with a side of attitude. Have you ever clashed over a borrowed item? How would you handle a lender who doesn’t make it right? Share your thoughts—let’s plug into this debate about trust and tangibles.

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