AITA for immediately walking out on a date after his first comment?

The warm buzz of a restaurant, with clinking glasses and soft chatter, set the stage for a first date brimming with hope. A woman, confident in her plus-size frame and armed with honest profile pics, waited eagerly for her match. But when he arrived, his opening line wasn’t “hello” or a smile—it was a blunt, “Oh, you’re bigger than I thought.” The air shifted, and her heart sank, stung by a jab she didn’t deserve.

In a flash, she gathered her things, explained her stance, and walked out, leaving him bewildered. Her friends later called it an overreaction, urging her to give him a chance, but her gut screamed otherwise. Was her swift exit a bold stand for self-respect or a hasty judgment? Let’s dive into this sharp tale of dating dealbreakers and dignity.

‘AITA for immediately walking out on a date after his first comment?’

A promising date turned sour with one careless comment. Here’s the woman’s story, straight from Reddit:

I’ll try and keep this quick- met a guy on a dating app, chatted for a few days and decided to go on a date. He seemed sweet and we had alot in common so I was looking forward to meeting him. Additional information, I am a bigger gal. I’m not ashamed of this and don’t try to hide it in my profiles.

I have multiple full body pictures and even one in a swimsuit on my profile so it’s obvious I am plus sized. I arrived at the restaurant before he did so I went ahead and grabbed a table. When he came in and headed towards the table, the first thing out of his mouth was “Oh, you’re bigger than I thought”. No hello, how are you, nothing.

Just an immediate comment on my size. I’ve been in enough s**tty relationships to know that if someone comments on my body on the first damn date, then they will not be a good partner. I expect my partners to generally not comment on my body unless it’s something positive. After he said this I immediately started gathering my things to go.

He acted all confused about what was happening so I explained to him that on a first date, I do not expect the first thing out of his mouth to be an observation on my body. He tried to convince me to stay but by then I had just had enough and didn’t want to stay any longer. I ended up leaving and telling my friends about it but they said I should have just given him a chance and that he was probably just surprised.

But like, that’s his fault?? He should have looked at my profile? My pictures were taken within the last few months and I haven’t gained any weight since then so I know for a fact that they look like me. Anyways I was feeling confident about my decisions but now I am starting to question myself. AITA?

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A date’s opening salvo landed like a punch, sending a woman out the door. Her date’s tactless remark about her size, ignoring her transparent profile, betrayed a lack of respect, triggering her swift exit. Her friends’ push to overlook it reflects societal pressure to tolerate rudeness, but her boundary held firm. His “surprise” doesn’t excuse the slight; her photos were clear.

Dating thrives on mutual respect. A 2023 study from the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found 71% of daters prioritize initial courtesy as a compatibility marker (Source). First impressions matter.

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Psychologist Dr. Alexandra Solomon says, “Healthy boundaries in dating protect self-worth” (Source). The woman’s exit honored her standards, signaling intolerance for body shaming. She could clarify expectations in future chats, while daters should heed profiles closely. Her friends might reflect on enabling red flags.

Check out how the community responded:

Reddit’s cheering loud for this woman’s backbone, roasting the guy’s blunder and her friends’ advice. Here’s the community’s vibe:

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UnitedPlum1671 - NTA And good for you for having boundaries and sticking to them.

Illustrious_Leg_2537 - Your friends are operating under the mistaken assumption that your feelings are not as important as some random guy's feelings. This is not true.. NTA.

[Reddit User] - NTA. Why would you stay when someone was rude as soon as you met them? Who even thinks it’s okay to say that to someone. I would have done the same thing. You don’t owe him anything. Good for you girl! Self respect is sexy. F**k that dude.

KPinCVG - NTA. In a very similar situation, I was at a restaurant, I was the first one there, I had a DIY purse that was an item with a famous character on it. We'll use Sherlock Holmes as an example. I had modified it so that it was a purse.

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I had it sitting on the chair next to me. It was clearly visible. The guy walked in, saw me, came over the table, saw the purse, and his first words to me were 'God, I hate Sherlock Holmes!'. I got up and left. No regrets.

kelluch - Wow, you have standards, wild concept. He didn't meet them and that's his problem. Just because your friends are willing to sacrifice their standards, or have lower ones than you, doesn't mean you have to follow. NTA.

Gracefulchemist - Yeah, NTA. You didn't hide what you look like, so it's not like he can claim surprise. Sounds like he was trying to neg you and wasn't expecting you to actually have a spine. Sorry it was a bust, but good job standing up for yourself.

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SmeeegHeead - Nta. Sounds like a dodged bullet to me...

SilverRaspberry723 - I’m guessing that your friends are all women. The ones that you discussed this with. Women for generations have been taught to be nice, stay sweet. No matter who’s touching you, no matter what they’re saying, and it’s BS. You did exactly the perfect thing. The right thing. And don’t let anybody convince you otherwise.

Naenae_Reyum - NTA- that's a hella rude thing to say. Especially on a first date🙃

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Disastrous-Panda5530 - NTA. When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
These Reddit high-fives are fiery, but do they nail the heart of this dating drama? Was her walkout a power move or too quick?

This saga of a date derailed by a single sentence spins a tale of self-love clashing with careless words. Her bold exit reclaimed her dignity, but left doubts lingering. Should she have stayed to talk or trusted her instincts? If a date’s first words stung, would you bolt or give grace? Drop your thoughts and let’s unpack this spicy slice of dating life!

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