AITA for ignoring my sister’s wedding invite after she didn’t come to my wedding?

In a whirlwind of wedding plans disrupted by a global pandemic, a woman’s joy turns to heartbreak when her half-sister, chosen as maid of honor, bails on her big day. Citing travel costs, the sister’s last-minute absence stings, but the real blow comes when social media reveals her lounging at a resort, booking her own wedding venue. Now, with an invitation to her sister’s wedding in hand, the woman tosses it aside, her trust as shattered as a dropped champagne flute.

This Reddit tale, shared with raw emotion on the AITA forum, captures the sting of family betrayal dressed up in excuses. The woman’s story paints a vivid picture of loyalty tested by selfishness, resonating with anyone who’s felt let down by those closest to them. Her decision to ignore the invite sparks a debate about forgiveness and standing firm in the face of disloyalty.

‘AITA for ignoring my sister’s wedding invite after she didn’t come to my wedding?’

I (33F) and my now husband (33M) had invited our wedding party years prior to the wedding. I asked my half sister (37F) to be my MOH. She excitedly said yes and immediately went out and picked out the dress and took it home. Then on the month of our wedding date Covid hits and of course everyone has to postpone any plans.

We eventually rescheduled and set a new date for a year later, sent out new invites, new bridal party gifts and prepared for the big day. My sister then reconnects with an old flame and they immediately become serious. She abandons her recently purchased home, moves her kids and herself into his home, and begins talking endlessly about marriage when her divorce is final.

We had discussions about what her new plans are since she had planned to stay with us in our home and if her new man would be joining. She said that they both would be coming but wanted alone time in a hotel. I understood and definitely didn't mind him coming.

The wedding date quickly approaches, we get the final count of bridal party and guests, pay the venue, and excitedly wait. Two days after giving the final count and 5 days before the wedding, I get a message from my sister saying they just looked at travel costs and won't be able to make it.

I was understandably upset and sad, but I understood if she couldn't afford it, since she had originally planned to drive and changed her mind to flying...but the fact that she had so long to plan ahead made it upsetting. We had made any guests including bridal party aware that we couldn't pay for travel and understood if that meant they couldn't join us.

The wedding goes down without any other issues. My side of the bridal party was one short but there isn't time during a wedding to pee, eat, or drink, let alone worry about that. It was a beautiful day and of course I was sad that she wasn't there. My husband and I get in the truck after the wedding ended and he asks me 'Did you see your sister's post?'

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He then shows me her Facebook announcement of her and her new guy and the kids at a resort they had traveled to that day and pictures of the wedding venue they visited and booked. So...I wasn't truly truly upset until then. I made the decision to unfollow her posts for a while and tried not to stew on it.

We got an invite in the mail with her apologies for missing our wedding but she wanted to invite us to her wedding in 2 months time. I ignored it, I haven't said anything to her, and I am pretty sure I threw the invite away. I feel some guilt and like I should be a bigger person than this and there are of course different opinions from people about how this should be handled, but AITA?

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This woman’s decision to ignore her sister’s wedding invitation is a raw response to a deep betrayal. Her sister, entrusted as maid of honor, not only abandoned her wedding with a flimsy excuse but compounded the hurt by vacationing and planning her own nuptials instead. The woman’s choice to step back reflects a need to protect her emotional well-being after a trust-shattering letdown.

The issue ties into broader dynamics of family loyalty and reciprocity. A 2020 study in Family Relations found that 35% of sibling conflicts stem from perceived favoritism or broken commitments, often eroding trust. Dr. Laurie Kramer, a family dynamics expert, notes, “When siblings prioritize personal gain over shared obligations, it can fracture relationships for years” . The sister’s actions—lying about costs while posting about a resort—signal a disregard for her sister’s milestone.

Dr. Kramer’s insight highlights the importance of mutual respect in family ties. The sister’s failure to communicate honestly, especially after committing to a key role, breached an unspoken contract of loyalty. Her subsequent invitation, paired with a casual apology, may feel like too little, too late, especially without acknowledging the lie. The woman’s silence, while passive, is a boundary to shield herself from further hurt.

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To move forward, the woman could consider a direct but calm response, like an RSVP declining the invitation with a brief explanation of her feelings. This clarity might prevent future family tension while maintaining her stance. Alternatively, a conversation—perhaps mediated—could address the betrayal and explore whether reconciliation is possible. Setting boundaries, like limiting contact to neutral settings, could protect her peace while keeping the door ajar for healing.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Reddit users rallied behind the woman, calling her sister’s actions selfish and deceitful. They view her no-show, followed by a resort trip and wedding venue booking, as a clear prioritization of her own interests over family duty. The consensus praises the woman’s decision to ignore the invite, seeing it as a justified response to a lie-fueled betrayal.

The community also criticizes the sister’s lack of accountability, noting that her apology feels hollow without addressing the deception. Many suggest declining the invitation outright to reinforce boundaries, arguing that attending would reward disloyalty. These takes underscore a shared view: the woman’s choice reflects strength, not pettiness, in the face of her sister’s disregard.

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Weskit − NTA. What she did was just really bad and if I were you I wouldn't respond to the invitation. If she contacts you for an answer, just tell her that unfortunately you've booked a visit to a resort and will be unavailable—but she's welcome to check out your mini-vacation on Facebook!

Free-Promotion-8106 − NTA. People find the time/money for what’s important to them. She has clearly shown that you are not important to her. She can reap what she does.

nickyfrags69 − NTA - f**k being the bigger person here haha I don't even think it applies. She straight up skipped your wedding to look at venues for hers. And then lied to you about it. Your actions are justified.

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[Reddit User] − Your sister ditches you as your MoH. She lies about why they won't be showing up. She then posts a photo of them at a resort.... NTA, but your sister and her fiancé are MAJOR AHs.

[Reddit User] − NTA, but I'd still respond with a no to the RSVP and no explanation.

whitewer − Nta, she claimed she couldn't make it due to travel costs, then she posts online about her and her new beau being at a resort with the kids they traveled to and booked a wedding venue.. Lol, don't go. That was rude and tacky of them. They knew well in advance when the wedding was.

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rogertheprice − YOUR BRAIDSMAID, ditched your wedding two days before it happened, lied to you as to why, and then posted her vacation on FB!?!?!. Oh my goodness, didn't she live with you as well?. So, if you slashed her tires you would be AN a**hole not THE a**hole.. So .... NTA

i80west − Yeah, decline politely. Avoid any understandable urge to make spiteful comments or actions. Those will only cause the rest of the family to start badgering you. Have a good day with your family. It's said the best revenge is living well. That may apply here. Don't let her assholianism distract you from having a good life. NTA

trilliumsummer − It's not a crime to ignore it, but you probably should have just RSVP'd no. NTA

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[Reddit User] − NTA she’s pretty selfish

This woman’s story, a poignant mix of betrayal and resilience, highlights the challenge of navigating family ties after trust is broken. Her decision to ignore her sister’s wedding invite sparks reflection on loyalty and forgiveness. Share your experiences—how do you handle family letdowns when they hit close to the heart?

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