AITA for ignoring my selfish neighbour when my baby cries?

It’s 3 a.m., and the piercing wail of a teething toddler slices through the quiet of a sleek condo building. A frazzled dad cradles his one-year-old, desperate to soothe her pain, while an irate neighbor pounds on the door, fed up with the nightly noise. Caught between a crying baby and a furious neighbor, this dad chose to focus on his daughter, ignoring the doorbell drama. Was he right to tune out the neighbor, or did he amplify the conflict? Let’s dive into this sleepless saga.

In a concrete jungle where soundproofing can’t quite muffle a toddler’s shrieks, this Reddit tale pits parental duty against neighborly peace. The dad’s focus on his daughter’s comfort clashes with a neighbor’s quest for quiet, turning a teething phase into a testy standoff. With emotions raw and sleep scarce, who’s really in the wrong here?

‘AITA for ignoring my selfish neighbour when my baby cries?’

I am the father of a one year old toddler. Recently, she started teething, as her molars have started to come in. First, it was the top ones for about a week, then we had a week’s break, and now the bottom ones are coming in. It’s clearly causing my daughter a lot of pain, especially at night. Before she was a good sleeper, but now it’s been rough.

She’s been waking up around 1am and then 3am daily, screaming with her little fingers in her mouth. My wife and I have tried comforting her, bringing her in our bed (she sleeps in our room anyway and her crib is next to our bed, but normally she likes to sleep cuddled up when she’s uncomfortable)

we’ve even given her baby Motrin to help with the pain but she still screams for about 10-20 minutes each time until we are able to settle her. It’s shrill and it sucks, but there’s not much we can do beyond what we are already doing.

We live on the ground floor of a new condo building. It’s made of heavy concrete and decently sound proofed, but not perfect. Above us lives a single woman in her late 20s / early 30s. This is an expensive part of town in a new building, so we can assume shes decently monied. She also keeps her balcony door open all day and night that faces into our courtyard.

She has been “punishing” us during the day by blasting loud music directly into our unit by putting a stereo next to her balcony. We are on the ground floor and have a fully enclosed courtyard so it vibrates around. She’s got great music taste, and my daughter will dance to it all day long. So while my wife hates her intention, I think it’s worked out just fine… until now…

Last night she came barging down at 3am and rang our bell 4 times while we were trying to settle our daughter. Motrin works for about 8 hours, so by 3am we have to give her another dose and wait through the cries, cradling her for 15-20 minutes for it to kick in again.

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My wife (a strong tempered petite woman, amplified by her first year of motherhood) wanted to go fight her then and there, but I said let’s just concentrate on settling the baby and ignore her. I also didn’t want to make the baby any more upset than she already was. So yeh, I just let her fume outside my door at 3am. AITA?

This late-night clash is a symphony of stress, with a teething toddler as the lead vocalist. The dad’s choice to ignore the neighbor’s doorbell tantrum prioritizes his daughter’s needs—understandable when every cry tugs at a parent’s heart. Yet, the neighbor’s frustration is equally valid; weeks of disrupted sleep can turn anyone into a cranky concertgoer. Both sides are trapped in a noisy stalemate, amplified by poor communication.

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The dad and his wife are doing their best, using Motrin and cuddles to ease their daughter’s pain. But waiting until 3 a.m. to dose the medication lets the cries escalate, disturbing the building. The neighbor’s balcony stereo stunt, while musically tasteful, screams passive-aggressive retaliation rather than a constructive solution. Both parties could use a dose of empathy.

This scenario reflects a common urban challenge: noise in close quarters. A 2022 study by the American Psychological Association found that 63% of urban residents report sleep disruptions from neighborhood noise, impacting mental health (Source). Teething is temporary, but its ripple effects test communal patience.

Dr. Harvey Karp, pediatrician and author of Happiest Baby on the Block, advises, “Proactive pain management, like dosing medication before bedtime, can reduce nighttime crying” (Source). For the dad, adjusting Motrin timing or using teething rings could lessen the noise. He should also approach the neighbor with an apology and explanation to defuse tension.

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Here’s what the community had to contribute:

The Reddit crew chimed in with a mix of empathy and eye-rolls. Here’s the chorus of opinions:

MerelyWhelmed1 − ESH. You comments about her are awful (especially that 'daddy' is paying her way.) Her response with the loud music is childish. Is there some reason why you can't move the doses of Motrin so that it works all night? Maybe a dose at 11:00 pm? That would allow all of you to get a much needed night's sleep. Also, I think they make cold teething rings to help with pain.. Try harder...for you, your child, and you neighbor.

blearghstopthispls − Info Motrin works for about 8 hours, so by 3am we have to give her another dose and wait through the cries, cradling her for 15-20 minutes for it to kick in again.. You mean there's another way than waking up the building at 3 am every single night?. Also, good job at deleting the daddy line which was causing you to gain some of the YTA judgements

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[Reddit User] − Info why aren't you staying *ahead* of the pain? Why wait until the poor thing is hurting????? Edit- yta regardless of all the added info. What you're doing clearly isn't working. You chose to have a baby. Your neighbor didn't. Waking her up every night at 3am is a problem and the solution can't be 'she can deal with it!'

Unholy_mess169 − YTA for 'or daddy does' comment.

donnamayj1 − ESH she could be more understanding and the stereo thing is stupid and childish. But as a person without kids, why should she be awakened because your child is teething? It is not her fault? But you seem to have no sympathy for her position.

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You even go so low as to suggest her apartment is paid for by her daddy instead of her, which seems like a low grade passive aggressive insult. I am not suggesting that you should somehow force your child to stop crying nor am I suggesting that you are doing anything wrong. Teething is a normal part of child development.

But that does mean your choice to have a child should infringe on other people's choice to get a good night sleep. Why not go knock on her door and apologize for the night time crying? In fact, I would knock on all your neighbor's doors and apologize. Your unit started this, so take responsibility for it.

HelicopterThink9958 − So multiple weeks worth of a screaming toddler at 3am and you think your neighbor is an A H because she rang your doorbell at 3am, right.. YTA and please do something about pain management for that poor kid.

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Several-Questions604 − ESH - but you suck more. Your neighbour sucks for how she seems to have handled the problem. IF her music is directed at you, then she’s taking the passive aggressive route and that’s petty. However I can understand why she’s so upset. She doesn’t have children, and likely needs to rest before work like most other people in existence.

If her sleep if being affected every night, I’d be butthurt too. That being said, you are a bigger AH. Firstly for not staying ahead of your child’s pain. If this is a developmental phase she’s been going through for some time now, you should be giving her pain meds before she gets to a level that continues to bother your neighborhood.

Secondly you’re an AH for your daddy’s money comment. If it takes sooooo much money to live in the building, so much so that a single woman could not possibly be able to afford it on her own without daddy’s help, maybe you and your wife should think about moving. You know, since you’re so well off and can afford such an expensive apartment.

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It sounds like you can afford to not be an AH, you just don’t want to because you’ve made the choice to have a kid and now everyone must suffer along with you and your horrible wife. Wanting to throw down with the neighbour because YOUR screaming child is disrupting her sleep is pure trash behaviour. Do better, you’re raising a child.

Aokigameri − You say she has been punishing you with stereo placement. How do you know it's a conscious effort to punish and not someone simply not realising what they are doing bothers you? Have you talked about it with her? Have you explained what the situation with the baby is?. Also how can one settle a baby to sleep when someone is signing the doorbell constantly?. Something doesn't feel quite like you've told everything related.

picard102 − YTA. Your baby should not become other people's problems.

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BeanEireannach − YTA. The 'or daddy does' bit that you conveniently edited out, oh my.

These takes swing from practical advice to sharp jabs, but do they hit the right note? Some see a frazzled parent; others hear an inconsiderate neighbor. The truth likely echoes somewhere in between.

This teething turmoil shows how quickly sleepless nights can spark neighborly strife. The dad’s focus on his daughter makes sense, but ignoring the neighbor’s plea risks escalating the discord. In tight-knit buildings, a little communication goes a long way. How would you handle a crying baby and a cranky neighbor at 3 a.m.? Share your thoughts and tips below!

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