AITA for ignoring a pregnant woman’s request on an airplane?

The hum of airplane engines filled the cabin as two strangers, bonded by chance, shared stories and laughter across the aisle. Their lively chatter painted a warm scene against the sterile backdrop of a 3 PM flight to Texas—until a folded note slipped into their world, carrying a pregnant woman’s quiet plea. Exhausted, with a sick toddler and another baby on the way, she craved a moment of peace.

The request stirred a ripple of tension. The original poster (OP), caught between compassion and their right to chat, wondered if they’d crossed a line. Should they hush for a stranger’s sake, or was their hushed conversation fair game in the shared space of a bustling flight? Readers, too, feel the weight of this delicate dance—balancing empathy with personal freedom in a cramped, noisy cabin.

‘AITA for ignoring a pregnant woman’s request on an airplane?’

I was on a 3 PM EST flight that was about three hours long from the east coast to TX. The lady in the aisle seat and I started chatting and turns out she was really cool. We were talking pretty much the whole flight, but not loud or yelling. The row in front of me was compiled of three strangers male, pregnant woman, male..

Around 90 minutes into the flight the pregnant woman passes us a note that states: Hi Ladies - you both seem like lovely people based on your convo this flight so I didn’t want to say anything in an obvious way. My eleven month old is sick and I haven’t slept well the past four nights.

I’m also 7.5 months pregnant and flying to tx for an event tonight and all day tomorrow. with that, it would be wonderful(underlined in the note but i’m not fancy enough to do it in reddit) if i could catch a quick nap before the craziness begins.

Would you both mind either talking quietly and/or not talking for the rest of the flight? I think others may appreciate this as well. i’ve tried ear plugs and music via headphones but nothing is working. thanks so much :). At that point i started asking the people in the row behind and next to if we were being loud.

They all said no we can’t hear anything cause we’re on an airplane with engines and propellers and s**t. we tried to bring the tone down to a whisper, but she still kept looking back/turning around randomly. i know she has a lot of s**t going on, but the whole letter thing threw me off.. AITA for continuing to talk?

Edit:  this might not have been clear for the people who keep saying why didn’t we just lower our volume. we did bring it down to a whisper instead of using our normal talking voices.

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Edit: part deux NAHs  thank for letting me know this was not a big deal and everything seemed to work out. NTAs - thank you for letting me know i wasn’t wrong for talking on an airplane. YTAs - thank you for reminding me of compassion.

Airplane conversations can spark joy or tension, and this story highlights the tightrope of public etiquette. The OP faced a polite but pointed request from a pregnant woman battling exhaustion. While the OP lowered their voice, the lingering glances suggested unresolved tension. Both sides have valid points: the OP’s right to chat versus the mother’s need for rest.

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This scenario reflects broader issues of shared space. According to a 2018 survey by YouGov, 57% of travelers find loud conversations on planes disruptive, yet only 20% feel comfortable confronting it. The pregnant woman’s note was a tactful approach, but her expectation of near-silence may have overstepped.

Dr. Irene Levine, a psychologist specializing in social dynamics, notes, “Public spaces require mutual respect, but expecting total control over others’ behavior can strain interactions” (source: Psychology Today, 2019). Here, the OP’s whisper was a reasonable compromise, but the mother’s stress likely amplified her sensitivity.

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For solutions, empathy is key. The OP could’ve acknowledged the note with a nod, signaling goodwill. Passengers facing similar requests might offer a brief pause or quieter tones, while those needing rest could use noise-canceling headphones. Balancing personal needs with shared courtesy keeps the cabin harmonious.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Reddit’s hot takes on this mid-flight drama are as varied as a boarding queue—some sympathetic, others unapologetic. Here’s what the crowd had to say:

justbrowzin99 − NTA its unrealistic to expect silence in a public place such as an airplane.

PM_ME_SEXY_SANDWICH − NTA. It is public transportation in the middle of the day. There is no expectation of quiet whereas there might be on a redeye.

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DynamicMangos − NAH Nobody likes flying. I don't blame the woman for being hypersensitive to some stuff, and especially since she just politely asked you to quiet down. As for you OP, you were just talking to someone, and from what you said in a quiet tone and even kept it down even more after getting asked to.. Everybody here after politely so I don't see a problem

[Reddit User] − NTA. Like, you could be quiet if you want to do a gratuitous kind act. But it’s 3pm, you’re not an a**hole for passing the time in quiet conversation.

jk10021 − NTA. If you were talking in a normal volume without tons of excessive laughter, I think you’re fine. It’s a small compartment. It’s not ideal for anyone. Just because she’s pregnant doesn’t mean she gets to dictate everyone’s behavior around her. I also don’t like her trying to guilt you into not talking with a laundry list of BS she’s dealing with.

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For all she knows the woman you were talking too really needed a good conversation. Maybe you were providing exactly what she needed in that moment. You’re not the ass here at all and preggo lady is pretty obnoxious.

tumericjesus − NAH - She wanted some quiet which is understandable because of her situation and she did ask nicely. You guys did bring it down to a whisper and respected her wishes which is enough in my opinion, you shouldn't be expected to be fully silent on an aeroplane.

BlergToDiffer − YTA and I will explain, because I feel like the people voting not-the-a**hole are missing a couple of things. 1) OP said they were talking to the person ACROSS the aisle from them, which would have required both of them to project their voices significantly in order to be heard over all the background noise, plus they'd have had to talk around the flight attendants and people walking past.

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Many people who voted NTA said something like 'as long as you were talking at a normal volume', etc., but I'm willing to bet that OP was speaking louder than usual to make up for all the background noise and talking across the aisle. 2) The lady waited **90 minutes** into the 3-hour flight before she said anything.

OP said they and their new friend talked pretty much the ENTIRE time. That's a long time to be chatting nonstop, and to me it seems inconsiderate to everyone in the general vicinity -- you are basically either forcing them to listen to your entire conversation, or forcing them to wear headphones/earplugs to try and drown you out.

This is the same reason I try not to have prolonged phone calls in public—because it's rude to people around you. We all *share* public spaces, and they're most enjoyable when people act respectfully. 3) I think OP really became the a**hole when, after receiving the **discrete** note, they started asking everyone else seated nearby whether they had been too loud.

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Did OP ask loudly enough to make sure the pregnant lady heard? OP said they asked everyone in the row behind and next to them, so at least 5-6 people? I'm also really sure everyone else responded, 'we can’t hear anything cause we’re on an airplane with engines and propellers and s**t.'

More likely, they just didn't want to say anything and thereby get involved in two strangers' drama, and instead just wanted to placate OP since they were probably acting offended. (If I had been seated next to OP and they asked me the same question, I would have politely deflected.)

20CAS17 − NAH BUT I will say that sound carries differently, at least for me, depending on where I am in relation to the sound. People being loud ahead of me is much less annoying/disruptive than people being loud (or even talking) right behind me.

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RealisticSandwich − NAH. She asked nicely, you declined. Though I am sure you were both being way more annoying than you thought, there's no way strangers you put on the spot were going to admit that.

tooooomanynames − NTA - You dropped your conversation to a whisper, and she still kept looking back. It’s unrealistic to expect silence on a plane as well.

These opinions spark a question: do Reddit’s snap judgments hold up, or is the truth messier than a simple “NTA” or “YTA”?

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This airplane tale leaves us pondering the unwritten rules of shared spaces. The OP tried to compromise, but the pregnant woman’s quiet plea lingered, hinting at deeper needs for empathy. It’s a reminder that public spaces test our patience and kindness. What would you do in this seat—keep chatting or hush for a stranger’s sake? Share your thoughts and experiences below!

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