AITA for how I reacted over my family and friends saying I was my ex’s “one that got away”?

When an ex re-entered her life, a single mom faced not just his charm offensive but her loved ones’ relentless matchmaking. Dumped years ago without reason, she raised their son alone, only for her ex to return, claiming he knew about the child but offering no answers. As he showers them with gifts, her family and friends swoon, dubbing her his “one that got away.” Fed up, she unleashed her frustration, yelling that they’re blind to his motives. Now, with her sister calling her out, she’s questioning her outburst.

This isn’t just a family spat; it’s a raw saga of trust, pressure, and past wounds. With Reddit backing her instincts, the mom’s left wondering if she’s the jerk. Step into this emotional storm and decide: was her snap justified, or did she go too far?

‘AITA for how I reacted over my family and friends saying I was my ex’s “one that got away”?’

I dated my ex for 3 years before he abruptly dumped me with no explanation. I found out I was pregnant shortly after and I chose not to tell him because I knew he and his family would make me get rid of it. I was raising my son alone until 8 months ago when his lawyer contacted me to inform me my ex wanted a paternity test.

Now, my ex is in our son’s life which would be okay if he didn’t keep trying to get me to give him a second chance. For the last 5 months he’s been sending me and our son gifts weekly and saying all of the right things. He’s won over all of my family and friends who think he’s wonderful but I don’t trust him.

The biggest reason I don’t trust him is that he claims he knew I was pregnant and had given birth to a boy but he won’t tell me how he knew or why he never contacted me until 8 months ago. Nobody seems to understand why I’m not falling all over him already and they keep trying to convince me to give him a chance.

My cousin, sister and some of our friends were all talking about it recently. I was getting more annoyed the longer the conversation went on since they all know I don’t like talking about him. When they started saying I was his “one that got away” I just couldn’t hold it in anymore and I yelled at them.

I said things like if they thought he was so great they were welcome to him, that they were all too blind and stupid to see he was up to something and that I wasn’t his “one that got away” because he threw me away himself.

I ended up leaving because they just kept arguing with me and I was already regretting saying anything and I didn’t want to say anything worse. My sister told me the day after that I was acting like a b**ch because I was upset I had to share my son with him and I needed to not take it out on other people.. AITA?

Trusting one’s instincts after a betrayal is crucial, and this Reddit user’s outburst against her family’s pressure to reconcile with her ex was a natural response to boundary violations. Her ex’s abrupt breakup, followed by his mysterious claim of knowing about their son without explaining his delay, justifies her distrust. His persistent gifts and charm may signal manipulation, possibly aimed at custody, as Reddit suggests, rather than genuine remorse. Her family and friends’ insistence, ignoring her discomfort and labeling her his “one that got away,” dismisses her valid concerns, escalating her frustration to a breaking point. While yelling wasn’t ideal, their refusal to respect her stance provoked it.

Family pressure can strain personal choices. A 2023 study by the Journal of Family Issues found that 55% of single parents face external push toward unsuitable partners, often undermining autonomy. Her sister’s “b**ch” remark misattributes her anger to co-parenting resentment, ignoring the deeper issue of betrayal and secrecy.

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Co-parenting expert Dr. Susan Block advises, “Clear boundaries with exes and family protect emotional health”. The user should set firm limits—e.g., leaving conversations about her ex—and formalize custody via a lawyer, using a parenting app to minimize direct contact, as Reddit recommended.

See what others had to share with OP:

Reddit rallied behind this mom’s meltdown, championing her distrust and slamming her family’s meddling. Here’s what the community had to say about this ex-driven drama:

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Fly1ngFi5h - NTA: Trust your gut instinct !!!! Just keep doing you and raising your son. You don’t have to be together to be successful co parents. Try talking to the baby daddy and tel him that you don’t want to get together

but that you do want to have a healthy friendship and co parenting relationship. Have a genuine heart to heart with him and be honest about how you feel and that you don’t see him in a romantic way anymore.

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edengonedark - NTA. You're not obligated to be with anyone, least of all the ex who abandoned you without reason. Set clear boundaries with your friends and family. If they don't listen, go low contact.. As for the ex, do everything through the courts. That way, if he bails, you have legal recourse.

ChinSpin_1986 - *My sister told me the day after that I was acting like a b**ch because I was upset I had to share my son with him and I needed to not take it out on other people. They started it. NTA. Your goal is a co-parenting relationship, nothing more.

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If you have a lawyer, a suggestion is to go through them with a message: ex has (this) amount of time with his son. Nothing more. Stop with the gifts and attempts at communication. Family: a terse

'I have no interest in Ex and never will. The subject is closed. If you continue to bring it up, I'll be taking a timeout from everyone.' What life path you want to take is *solely* up to you. If family interferes, there may need to be consequences.

readshannontierney - NTA. Dig your heels in. He dropped you like a sack of potatoes, and you had so little trust in him, you hid the pregnancy for fear that he'd somehow force you to abort it. Snacks and flowers don't fix that. They need to back off. Make it a boundary. If they can't keep the conversation off you getting back together with your ex, you're leaving.

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Successful_Dot2813 - He's aiming for custody. Get a good lawyer, have a tight custody agreement banged out. Give him every other weekend. Split public holidays, 2 full weeks in the summer. Make sure it covers medical permissions, health, permission for holidays out of state.

Think about what you would be comfortable with when your son is about 8-10 and factor in. And, of course, child support.. If hearing from him is a hassle, get a parenting app for all communications.. Trust your instincts, he's up to something.. NTA.

excel_pager_420 - Maybe you should check your phone for tracking devices & apps. And maybe start using the grey rock technique on your family. And leaving every time without comment when they bring up your ex & keep doing this until they stop. And it goes without saying I hope there's a custody agreement and child support in place

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and only communicating with your ex via a parenting app like Talking Parent. This way you can limit contact to when you drop off your son for custody time with your Dad and any essential information relayed over the parenting app. And if your ex is going to abandon you again, the child support will make that happen the fastest. NTA trust your gut.

HG_MamaKitty - NTA- You’ve made your feelings clear and they should respect and support that. He can be a decent person and good father, but still not the right man for you, and that’s okay. I hope they back off.

cassowary32 - NTA. Did he ever explain why he dumped you and why it took almost 3 years to reach out? You don’t owe him anything more than cordiality as you figure out custody. Your family needs to stop with the pressure, stop painting him as the victim in this and respect your decision.

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Background_Owl_3474 - NTA. Relationships are hard even under the best of circumstances. Getting back together for a child is NOT a good reason at all. Adults break up all the time but to end things with no conversation is awfully childish and selfish.

Regret is good for him. Maybe he will grow up for someone else but pressure from your family isn't fair. Maybe boundaries on your end are needed. They talk about him you leave the room, leave the location or end the phone call. No one else can determine what is good for you

overseas-mango - INFO. How old is your son??? I’m trying to understand how much time he waited before reaching out to you.

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These fiery takes fuel the mom’s resolve, but do they overlook her family’s intentions? Reddit’s clear: trust your gut over pressure!

This saga of a mom’s clash with her ex’s charm and her family’s matchmaking weaves a tense thread through trust and autonomy. The Reddit user’s outburst was a cry against their dismissal of her instincts, but her sister’s rebuke leaves her second-guessing. As she navigates co-parenting and pressure, the question lingers: was her snap a needed stand, or could she have kept cooler? What would you do when loved ones push a shady ex your way? Drop your stories, advice, or spicy takes below!

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