AITA for house sitting/ watching my families dog?

A young man agreed months ago to house-sit and care for the family dogs during his parents’ 9-day vacation, but his live-in girlfriend has been breaking down nightly, crying hysterically and begging him to return home. Unable to sleep alone or function without him, she rejects offers to join him, leaving him torn between family commitment and her distress.

This situation spotlights codependency, separation anxiety, and relationship boundaries. What makes the story more complicated is the pre-planned obligation clashing with intense emotional demands that escalate daily.

‘AITA for house sitting/ watching my families dog?’

The family vacation and dog-sitting arrangement were planned well in advance.

My family has gone on vacation for 9 days, and I’m currently house sitting and taking care of our dogs. Almost a year ago I moved out with my girlfriend,...

His girlfriend has struggled severely with the temporary separation.

She has been taking it hard. She spent hours crying before I left, and the last two nights she’s called/ face times me crying her eyes out begging for me...

saying that she can’t turn the lights out or clean because she doesn’t have the energy and that she’s too sad. That she can’t go to bed without cuddling/ a...

He remains committed but worries about worsening nights ahead.

My parents asked me months ago to watch the dogs, this has been a known event. And I fear that each night it’s going to get worse. I’ve offered her...

I could drive back to our apartment, but I would have to leave soon after to take the dogs out. Am I the a__hole for watching them and not coming...

This house-sitting dilemma exposes serious red flags in a relationship marked by extreme emotional dependency. The girlfriend’s reactions—prolonged crying, inability to perform basic tasks, and rejection of solutions—go beyond missing a partner, suggesting manipulation or untreated anxiety. What makes the story more complicated is the poster’s prior commitment to family, known for months, yet facing escalating guilt-inducing pleas that frame his responsibility as abandonment. Offering her to join him was a reasonable compromise, declined without effort on her part.

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Some might see her distress as genuine vulnerability needing immediate support, prioritizing the relationship over plans. However, the broader social perspective views this as unhealthy codependency: adults must manage short separations, and weaponizing tears to control a partner’s obligations erodes trust and autonomy.

Ultimately, fulfilling promises builds reliability, while enabling extreme dependence delays necessary help—like therapy—for sustainable relating, preventing resentment in the long term.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Many users declared the poster not at fault, highlighting manipulative and unhealthy behavior from the girlfriend.

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shayjax- − NTA. Your girlfriend is being extremely emotionally manipulative towards you.

uncleBud79 − NTA: your girlfriend needs professional help. She sounds emotionally unstable and completely dependent on you. You guys should seek couple's therapy, and she should probably seek individual therapy...

sarahwalka − NTA . She doesn't have energy to drive? ? Sounds like she needs help emotionally and medically. How does she function as an independent adult?

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garthastro − NTA. She sounds more like your daughter than your girlfriend. Your girlfriend sounds like a emotionally manipulative, codependent nightmare.

It also sounds like you give her entirely too much leeway and accept way too much b__lshit on the regular. Crying hysterically because you're gone for 9 days?

Can't find the energy to turn off the lights? Too scared to sleep alone? What is she, seven years old? Run, don't walk, away from this one.

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whatsmypassword73 − NTA, and it’s pretty worrisome that she is that needy and is unwilling to take any active measures while expecting you to soothe her.

That a high burden on you, her emotional support human. She clearly has difficulty regulating herself and seems to want you to do it for her. Do you want a...

Several emphasized the need for professional intervention and questioned relationship sustainability.

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VodkaQueen_1136 − NTA. You have given her an alternative arrangement and she has turned it down. Sounds to me like she's just trying to manipulate you.

This is not a healthy relationship. Can she do other things, like go to work etc? Or is she too tired for that aswell?

Scary_Offer2479 − Wonder how she managed to sleep before she met you? Does she work? How does she drive to work with 'no energy'? ?? Did she drive before she...

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Hell, she's draining the life out of me, and I'm just reading this on Reddit! ! I wonder how she went to the store before she met you? How did...

Don't trust that she's taking birth control- be smart! I almost guarantee you that the next step in her "Game of Moans" move will be to baby-trap you if she...

trentraps − NTA. I knew a friend who dated a woman like this. After 1 1/2 years he was a stressed out anxious husk. We were younger so it was...

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He only told us the worst stories after they broke up. She would intentionally stress him out by doing stuff *exactly like you girlfriend is doing to you right now*,

as a way to control him and keep him from realizing how bad she was from him. I spoke with the same guy about gaslighting about a year ago and...

Take the time and examine how much she adds to your life and how much she takes away, and if you want to stay with such a person.

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A couple suggested practical solutions or acknowledged possible anxiety while maintaining support.

yesitsich − NTA but your girlfriend seems to have some bad separation anxiety. Doesn’t sound healthy for her or your relationship if she cannot stay away from you for such...

Maybe you can suggest she can talk with someone about it. Also as a short term solution maybe you can go get her and come back to your parents’ house.

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Pandorasopinbox − NTA, but your girlfriend needs serious help. You have an obligation to your family, and you have provided her with the option to go there. A 20 minute...

Your GF needs help sooner than later, I agree with you it may get worse each day. Can she stay or visit a closer friend or family member? Edit: spelling

The social network unanimously agreed the poster is not at fault for honoring his commitment, viewing the girlfriend’s extreme reactions as manipulative, codependent, or signaling deeper issues needing professional help. While short absences are normal, her refusal of compromises raised concerns about long-term compatibility.

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Have you experienced intense separation anxiety in relationships? How do you balance family obligations with partner needs? Share your thoughts or similar stories below!

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