AITA for holding my friend accountable for what she says even though she’s pregnant?

A woman found herself questioning a friendship that had lasted nearly eight years after a series of harsh comments began piling up. Her best friend, currently pregnant with her second child, often brushed off those remarks as nothing more than “pregnancy hormones.” But from OP’s perspective, pregnancy doesn’t automatically excuse saying things that hurt the people around you.

The situation escalated after OP opened up about her struggles with mental health, hoping for support from someone she trusted. Instead, that vulnerable confession later became ammunition during an argument. From being yelled at when she moved into her own apartment to hearing mocking comments about taking care of her cat, OP started wondering whether asking her friend to take responsibility for her words was somehow unfair.

‘AITA for holding my friend accountable for what she says even though she’s pregnant?’

The tension started building as OP noticed a pattern whenever her friend said something hurtful:

Things took a more personal turn when OP confided in her about a mental health struggle:

Situations like this often arise when one person’s circumstances become the explanation for behavior that hurts others. In this case, OP’s friend repeatedly attributes her harsh comments to pregnancy hormones. It’s true that pregnancy can bring major emotional shifts. Hormonal changes may intensify reactions, shorten patience, or make someone feel more sensitive than usual. Even so, emotional changes don’t erase the impact of what’s said during those moments. Healthy relationships usually rely on something simple: when someone crosses a line, they acknowledge it.

Clinical psychologist Dr. Ramani Durvasula once noted in Psychology Today: “Feeling overwhelmed or emotional doesn’t eliminate the impact of hurtful words. What matters in relationships is how people take responsibility afterward.” In other words, emotions may explain behavior, but they don’t automatically excuse it.

What stands out in OP’s story is the way her private confession about mental health later resurfaced as a jab. When someone shares something vulnerable, they’re usually looking for empathy or reassurance. Turning that information into an insult can break trust quickly, because it signals that personal struggles might not be safe to talk about in the relationship.

In moments like this, stepping back for a while can sometimes help both sides cool down and rethink how they interact. Distance doesn’t always mean ending the friendship—it can simply create space to reflect. If OP still values the relationship, a calm conversation focused on how the comments made her feel may help clarify whether her friend understands the damage those words caused.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

When the story circulated on social media, many readers quickly sided with OP, saying pregnancy doesn’t justify repeated insults:

Some commenters agreed with OP overall but also pointed out another issue—responsibility toward pets:

Others kept their responses short but clear about where they stood:

At the center of this story lies a difficult question many friendships eventually face: when personal circumstances explain someone’s behavior, how much patience should others be expected to show? For OP, the issue wasn’t simply a few emotional outbursts—it was the repeated pattern of harsh comments and the moment when a private confession about mental health was turned against her.

While many readers felt she had every right to expect respect from a close friend, others pointed out that caring for a pet also carries real responsibility. So what do you think—was OP justified in confronting her friend, or should she have been more understanding given the pregnancy?