AITA for hiding my finances from future MIL?
The engagement ring sparkled under the soft glow of a candlelit dinner, but for one Reddit user, the joy of her proposal was dimmed by a chilly shadow—her future mother-in-law’s disapproval. As a yoga teacher, she faced polite but frosty judgment from her fiancé’s mother, who believed only a “lady doctor” deserved her oncologist son. The MIL’s whispers about gold-digging stung, rooted in assumptions about the user’s modest career.
Unbeknownst to MIL, the user held a secret: a substantial trust fund that secured her financial independence. When her fiancé revealed this during a heated prenup debate, MIL’s coldness flipped to cloying warmth, followed by accusations of deceit. The user’s refusal to apologize for her privacy has sparked a family rift, pulling us into a drama where class, money, and motives collide.
‘AITA for hiding my finances from future MIL?’
This in-law clash is a masterclass in misplaced assumptions. The MIL’s initial disdain for the user’s yoga career, assuming she chased her son’s wealth, revealed a classist bias. Her dramatic shift after learning about the trust fund exposed her true priorities—status and money over character. The user’s secrecy, while strategic, fueled MIL’s accusations of deceit.
Judgments based on occupation are common—45% of Americans admit to stereotyping professions, per a 2023 Pew Research survey. The MIL’s fixation on a “lady doctor” reflects outdated social hierarchies. Dr. Amy Cuddy, a social psychologist, notes, “People judge others on perceived status, often ignoring personal values or compatibility” (source: Harvard Business Review, 2019).
The MIL’s tears and demand for an apology seem manipulative, aimed at deflecting her own bias. The user’s polite distance protects her boundaries, but her fiancé’s push to apologize raises concerns about his mother’s influence. Cuddy’s research suggests open dialogue can challenge stereotypes, but only if all parties are willing.
The user should maintain her stance, reinforcing that her finances are private. Couples counseling could help her and her fiancé align on handling MIL’s overreach. A prenup, already planned, will further clarify their independence. This story underscores the power of privacy in dodging judgmental traps.
Take a look at the comments from fellow users:
Reddit users overwhelmingly backed the user, slamming the MIL’s snobbery and sudden friendliness as blatant opportunism. They saw her tears as crocodile tears, a ploy to guilt-trip the couple, and urged the user to hold firm against apologizing for her justified secrecy.
![[Reddit User] − NTA. Her son loving you wasn’t good enough for her, she basically has stated that she thinks she only has to be kind to people in her life if they meet her standards of “good enough.” Also - anyone who uses the phrase “lady doctor” in a serious way needs to take a time machine back to 1953.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/314525cv-03.png)
The community also flagged the fiancé’s urge to placate his mother as a red flag, suggesting the user watch for signs of enmeshment. They celebrated her financial independence and kind in-laws, noting MIL’s behavior proved why hiding wealth was a smart move.
This trust fund tale reveals how money can twist family ties into knots. The user’s choice to hide her wealth shielded her from bias but ignited a firestorm when revealed. Her refusal to bow to MIL’s guilt trip champions personal boundaries over appeasement. Whether you’ve faced judgy in-laws or kept a secret to dodge stereotypes, this story resonates. Have you ever had to protect your privacy from nosy relatives? Share your experiences below!
