AITA for hiding my expensive shampoo and conditioner from my friend’s guest?

Imagine coming home to find that your luxury shampoo has vanished—used up by a guest you never met! Our Redditor, a 28‐year‑old who cherishes her self‐care splurges, discovers that her friend’s guest has been raiding her prized conditioner and shampoo. This isn’t just about hygiene; it’s about respecting personal boundaries and valuing what you work hard to earn. In a shared apartment with a friend, expectations clash when one guest oversteps her welcome.

In a twist that could rival any sitcom, when the same guest returns for a shower, our Redditor cleverly hides her expensive products—only to have her roommate get angry for “rudeness.” Want the juicy details? Dive into the original story below!

‘AITA for hiding my expensive shampoo and conditioner from my friend’s guest?’

Roommate disputes often boil down to a clash of personal values and expectations. According to Terri Cole, a New York‑based therapist and author of Boundary Boss, “If you don’t set any boundaries, you risk becoming stressed and burned out.” Our Redditor’s dilemma isn’t merely about missing toiletries—it’s a cry for respect in shared living spaces.

The situation highlights how even small items can symbolize deeper issues of inequality and entitlement in relationships. Establishing clear boundaries helps maintain personal space and self-worth. Breaking down the issue further, consider the social dynamics at play. When one roommate takes liberties with another’s belongings, it not only devalues the item but also the effort invested in acquiring it.

Our Redditor, who spends more than her roommate, sees her expensive products as a form of self-care—a luxury that shouldn’t be up for sharing without permission. This scenario serves as a microcosm for larger social issues about respect, fair treatment, and financial disparities. In households where incomes differ, setting expectations early can prevent misunderstandings later on.

Moreover, experts suggest that clear communication is the best remedy for these tensions. A study published by the University of Rochester found that students who openly discussed household responsibilities experienced lower stress and greater satisfaction. Here, our Redditor’s decision to hide her products was a silent protest—a way of saying “my things, my rules.”

It’s a tactical move to enforce boundaries without having to engage in potentially heated discussions. Neutral advice for those in similar situations is to initiate a calm conversation, perhaps by discussing how sharing personal items should work in a fair and respectful manner. Another perspective is to consider the social role of guests in shared living. When a guest overstays their welcome by using up personal care items, it’s not just a minor inconvenience—it’s a breach of the household’s unwritten contract.

This behavior can lead to recurring conflicts if not addressed properly. A balanced approach, as suggested by relationship experts, is to negotiate a system where guests contribute something or use only what’s provided by the host. In this case, our roommate might have helped by offering to replenish supplies promptly, but the onus ultimately lies on setting clear rules from the beginning.

Lastly, while the Redditor’s actions may seem petty to some, they underscore an important lesson: in shared living environments, every small boundary matters. Respect for personal property is the foundation of healthy cohabitation. Experts advise that when tensions flare over trivial matters, it’s often a signal that deeper issues are at play.

Neutral advice would be to consider a mediator or even a house meeting to establish household guidelines. This proactive approach not only prevents future conflicts but also builds a culture of respect and mutual accountability.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Across Reddit, the consensus is loud and clear: personal boundaries matter. The majority of users agree that expensive personal products are not communal property and that guests should never use them without explicit permission.

Commenters emphasize that it’s completely reasonable for someone to protect their belongings—especially when they’ve spent hard-earned money on a treat. They also highlight that the roommate’s expectation for the guest to be allowed access is simply off-base. In short, the community stands firmly by the view that setting clear boundaries in shared living is not only justified but essential for maintaining respect and harmony.


In the end, this shampoo saga isn’t just about expensive hair products—it’s about the importance of clear communication and respecting personal boundaries. Do you think the Redditor’s ultimatum was fair, or could her roommate have handled it differently? How would you balance guest etiquette with your own self‑care rituals? Share your hot takes below and let’s chat about where the line should be drawn in shared living situations. For more tips on healthy boundaries, check out expert advice on Time.

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