AITA For Hiding A Pregnancy And Birth From My Family?

Pregnancy is often a time of celebration and support — a chance for families to come together in joy and anticipation. But what happens when the joy of a baby is overshadowed by a family member’s unresolved grief and emotional volatility? In this Reddit AITA post, a woman explains why she kept her entire pregnancy a secret from her family out of fear of hurting her infertile sister.

Her decision, while emotionally taxing, came from a place of self-preservation. But after the baby was born and the truth came out, the backlash from her parents left her wondering if she was wrong to prioritize her peace and boundaries. Let’s dive into the emotional complexity of this situation and whether her decision was selfish — or necessary.

‘AITA For Hiding A Pregnancy And Birth From My Family?’

This situation is a textbook example of emotional enmeshment and boundary erosion within a family system. Psychologists often point out that when one family member’s trauma — in this case, the sister’s infertility — becomes the emotional center of a household, it can create a toxic environment where others are expected to suppress their own needs and milestones to protect that person’s feelings.

From a mental health standpoint, OP made a difficult but valid decision. Being forced to hide a pregnancy — an emotionally and physically demanding experience — is not only isolating, but it also signals a long-standing pattern of emotional invalidation from her family. Her sister’s ongoing refusal to engage with therapy and her parents’ enabling behavior are major red flags.

Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a licensed clinical psychologist who specializes in toxic family dynamics, often emphasizes that setting boundaries is not an act of cruelty — it is an act of self-preservation. In this case, OP’s boundary wasn’t vindictive; it was protective, both for her and her unborn child.

Additionally, OP’s family failed to recognize that joy and pain can coexist. The presence of infertility grief doesn’t erase the legitimacy of someone else’s pregnancy. The emotionally balanced response from the parents would have been to support both daughters in appropriate ways, not silence one in favor of the other.

In short, OP is not the villain for protecting her peace during a deeply personal journey. Her family’s inability to manage their own emotions does not make her responsible for carrying their burdens too.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit users overwhelmingly supported OP and criticized her family’s enabling of Jenny:

Some even encouraged OP to keep her distance and establish firm boundaries to prevent further emotional damage — especially with a new child in the picture.

OP’s decision may seem drastic, but the emotional minefield laid by her sister’s trauma and her parents’ enabling left her little choice. While it’s tragic that infertility can fracture families, it’s equally unfair to ask someone to hide their joy indefinitely. Her actions weren’t about betrayal — they were about survival. If there’s any healing to be done, it starts with the parents acknowledging their part in forcing one daughter to disappear so the other could remain emotionally untouched. Until then, OP has every right to focus on her child — and her peace.