AITA for having my son miss his graduating road trip to watch his sibling?

Picture a sun-dappled morning, the kind where a fresh high school graduate is buzzing with excitement, bags packed for a road trip with friends. Now, imagine that dream screeching to a halt when a family crisis crashes in like an uninvited guest. That’s the heart of one family’s drama, where a teen’s long-awaited adventure collided with a grandparent’s accident. The question is: was it fair to ask an 18-year-old to ditch his plans to babysit his siblings during a crisis?

This Reddit tale unfolds with raw emotion—frustration, guilt, and a dash of teenage angst. The original poster (OP), a dad caught in a whirlwind, faced an impossible choice when his in-laws were in a car accident. With no sitter available, he turned to his son, who wasn’t thrilled about playing stand-in parent. Let’s dive into this messy, relatable story and see what it reveals about family, duty, and second chances.

‘AITA for having my son miss his graduating road trip to watch his sibling?’

My son just graduated high-school and we were paying so he could go on a road trip with his friends. He was suppose to go Wednesday , my wife’s mother and father got in a car accident. They live in another state so we had to drive about 4 hours. My wife was a wreck and wasn’t in the position to drive since we her dad was critical. He pulled through luckily.

We have two other kids 11 and 7. We can’t leave them at home alone and we couldn’t find a sitter to watch them on such short notice, we even tried our neighbors but he couldn’t do it. So that left our 18 year old. He was pissed to put it mildly but did it. I told him we would make it up to him, and if he could ask if his friend could move it back a week. They couldn’t sadly.

We were gone for two days, he pulled though. My wife stayed and I headed back, I payed him for watching the kids and went to talk to him about getting him on the trip. It was suppose to be two weeks and they should just be a state over.

He blows up about ruining his trip and there is no point going even though it should still 12 days of the trip. He called up a jerk and lock himself in his room.. I need another opinion since this was emergency and he doesn’t seem to care his grandparents almost passed.

This family’s saga is a classic clash of personal dreams versus collective responsibility. When a crisis hits, emotions run high, and decisions get murky. The OP faced a logistical nightmare: a critical hospital visit, a distraught wife, and two young kids needing care. Asking the 18-year-old to step up was a tough call, but was it the only one? Let’s unpack this with some expert insight.

Family dynamics often hinge on unspoken expectations. Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship researcher, notes, “In times of crisis, families either pull together or pull apart” (source: Gottman Institute). Here, the son’s frustration is understandable—he’s a young adult craving freedom, not a babysitter gig. Yet, the parents’ desperation reflects a broader issue: the lack of support systems for modern families. A 2023 study by the American Psychological Association found that 68% of parents report feeling overwhelmed by unexpected caregiving demands, often leaning on older siblings as a last resort.

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The son’s anger, though, hints at a deeper wound—feeling like his milestone was sidelined. The parents tried to make amends, offering payment and a chance to join the trip later, but his refusal to compromise suggests teenage stubbornness at play. Gottman’s advice on validating emotions could apply here: acknowledging the son’s disappointment might have softened the blow. Instead, the situation escalated into a shouting match, leaving everyone bruised.

So, what’s the takeaway? Crises expose cracks in family communication. The parents could explore local emergency childcare options for future incidents, while the son might benefit from learning flexibility.

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Here’s what Redditors had to say:

The Reddit hive mind didn’t hold back, serving up a spicy mix of empathy and tough love. Here are some hot takes from the community—candid, heartfelt, and occasionally snarky.

rhnajith − Honestly YTA. I don’t understand why you couldn’t take your kids, it’s their grandparents who were in critical condition after all.. And what would have happened if he already left?

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runaredlight68 − NAH - what a terrible situation for everyone involved. however - if he is rejecting any potential resolutions to this, it's just because he's upset. i'm sure he cares that his grandparents are ok, but he cares MORE about the trip, which given the circumstances, is somewhat understandable.

EDIT: just read the update......sorry to say, but yelling at someone who is dealing with parents who have sustained significant injuries is NOT OK. however disappointed the kid is, this is a hugely immature AH move.

Yikes44 − I'd say NAH. In this kind of sudden and critical situation you didn't have time to explore any other options (although taking your younger children with you would have been the next best thing) and you also paid him for babysitting.

Your son is also not an AH for being really upset and angry about missing his trip. However, he's only got himself to blame for not going out to meet them for the rest of it after you offered to get him there.

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[Reddit User] − He’s a teenager. They don’t always think rationally. He’s disappointed that he missed an opportunity he was looking forward to. Which he no doubt believes it was his one & only opportunity to ever have fun. Sadly, he can’t get out of his own way to figure out how to put this back together.

He has 2 options .... continue to pout or let you help him get what he wants. Not much more you can do. It’s not about his lack of empathy. Grandpa’s fine so what could have happened is not really an issue now. It didn’t happen & now y’all need to figure out how to move forward.. NAH

eta — adults would struggle with the same feelings if they had plans for a fun trip & a family emergency came up. Once that emergency is over. Most people would be disappointed they missed out on their plans. Your son is upset with his situation. It seems like a normal reaction to me. Don’t make it personal.

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Eta more — based on your edit... you’re trying real hard to make your son the ah here. I’m guessing to absolve yourself in this situation but .... that’s not cool in my book. Don’t throw your own kids under the bus.

If your son is that selfish you should ask yourself why or how he got there. Kids don’t raise themselves. I’m a little disappointed that y’all chose to point your fingers at the 18 yr old that had no control over any of this & didn’t have the best reaction. Everyone is this story deserves a little grace. It appears that is not your goal.

vt2022cam − NTA- it was a legitimate family emergency and unavoidable. Sending on the trip two days late would be the best options and he needs to get over it.

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Daughter_of_Dusk − NTA and the people who constantly answer 'he's not your children's parents' are exhausting and out touch with reality. He wasn't parenting, he was looking after them during an emergency! When something like that happens you are supposed to help your family.

You are not an island, your interests and needs are not the only ones that count. OP and wife weren't on vacation, they had to drop everything to go spend time in a hospital where son's grandfather almost died. Needing to assist someone in such conditions trumps a stupid trip.

Watching your brothers for that one time because your family is in a horrible situation trumps a trip. The level of selfishness in some comments is absurd. If we need to reason like that, then OP and wife shouldn't pay for the trip given that son is an adult.

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They shouldn't drive him anywhere given that he's an adult. He shouldn't live with them given that he's an adult. Do you see how stupid all this sounds? It was an emergency, he had to help. OP even offered to take him to the trip so that he wouldn't lose all of it but son refused.

He could still go and spend 12 days with his friends, instead he chose to throw a fit and skip two whole weeks of vacation because he had to stay home for 2 days. Son can be upset, but he chose to be stupid about this. He should have accepted the lift.

[Reddit User] − INFO: If your son had already left for the trip, what would you have done with your two kids?

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[Reddit User] − Nta its s**tty yes, but there are 12 days left????? Can he not fly to where they are and go from there.

Draiders − WTF is up with all the YTA votes? It sounds like they did the best they could with a horrible situation. They looked for other sitters even including neighbors but no one was available. Taking the 2 kids with them would have made a horribly stressful situation even worse especially since the where at the hospital for around 48 hours.

Mom was in no shape to help look after them considering she is probably thinking her dad might be dying. The 18 year old was the last option and was payed for it as well as them saying they will try to make it up to him. NAH - They did there best and the 18 year old is a loud to be upset but this was an emergency situation.

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CartographerHot2285 − What's there a reason you didn't take the younger kids with you? They're at ages where you don't have to keep your eye on them every single second, it shouldn't have been that much of a bother.

These are popular opinions on Reddit, but do they mirror real life? Some users see the son’s outburst as typical teen drama, while others question why the younger kids couldn’t tag along. It’s a debate as old as family itself: where does duty end and personal freedom begin?

This story is a rollercoaster of tough choices and raw emotions. The parents scrambled to handle a crisis, while the son mourned a lost adventure. Both sides have valid feelings, but the path forward lies in understanding and compromise. Families aren’t perfect—they’re messy, human, and worth fighting for. What would you do if a family emergency derailed your plans? Drop your thoughts in the comments and let’s keep this conversation rolling!

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