AITA for having an operation in the same week as my work colleague wedding causing my manager to cancel her time off?

Imagine a bustling retail store, where the hum of appliances is drowned out by a storm of workplace drama. In this Reddit tale, a medical emergency collides with a long-planned wedding, leaving two colleagues caught in a management mess. A young employee’s urgent eye surgery overlaps with a coworker’s wedding, and their boss’s refusal to bend sparks chaos. With tempers flaring and Reddit buzzing, let’s dive into this sticky situation with a dash of humor and plenty of empathy.

In their late 20s, this employee faces a now-or-never surgery to save their eyesight, but the timing couldn’t be worse—clashing with coworker Candice’s wedding plans. Booked years in advance, her time off is suddenly yanked by their boss, citing staffing issues. Candice’s anger lands on her colleague, but is it fair? This tale of health, love, and bad management unfolds with high stakes and hotter tempers.

‘AITA for having an operation in the same week as my work colleague wedding causing my manager to cancel her time off?’

I'm in my late 20s and work in a large retail chain. I have a work colleague 'Candice' (22-23f) who is planning to get married later this month. Originally she was planning the wedding for 2020 however due to lockdowns etc it had to be postponed to 2022. She has booked 2 weeks off for her wedding and for her honeymoon nearly 2 years in advance and everything is paid for.

Me and Candice work in the same store section (white goods). Now I had bad eyesight as long as I can remember myself and was finally able to save for an operation. Upon the check up the doctor said he operation must happen sooner rather then later.

They explained that they can see a small rapture in one of my eyes and they are worried that if I fall down or hit my head or due to stress it will become worth and they won't be able to fix it, which would make me uneligable for an operation. Due to this the operation was scheduled for the time of Candice wedding.

When I have told my boss that I will need 2 weeks off for the same week, they declined my request saying its too short notice and Candice already booked it off, so us 2 can't be off at the same time.

I had to go through the doctor to have a note issued stating I will be having an operation and due to recovery will not be able to work for those 2 weeks and legally it is not something my boss can decline. Because of this and since Candice wedding is more then 2 weeks away, he cancelled her holiday request.

She can't get any refunds at such short notice and said she will take unpaid leave in this case, however our boss said he won't be granting her any leave as we are understaffed (someone started their maternity leave recently) and if she won't show up, then they will treat it as anauthotised absence which will lead to dismissal.

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During our shift Candice had a go at me and called me a massive a**hole for scheduling the operation during her wedding and getting signed off, making her even more stressed before the wedding. Some other colleagues believe I'm in the wrong too and should have chosen different dates.. Aita?

Edit: this is getting asked a lot. I am not able to reschedule the surgery as my doctor believed it was urgent, should have been done a lot sooner and if not done quickly then it might make me uneligable for

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any other eyesight improving operations and permanently affect my eyesight. He has tried to book me in for next week, but there was no availability, so he went with the earliest available dates that were reserved for emergencies.

Edit 2: as some people seem to be missing the point. 1 - my doctor scheduled the operation on those days not me. 2 - original operation was a Lasik operation, which I would be happy to carry later on in the year and it had a waiting list since it is not covered by NHS or considered vital for your health.

3: my doctor found a rapture which made him book an operation sooner as it was not spotted by any other doctors. So the reason for the emergency now is not for me to have better eyesight but not to go blind or make my condition worse.

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If the problem was spotted by other health professionals sooner I would have booked it sooner, but I was just made aware of the issue and those dates are the earliest he can book me in.

This workplace clash is like a pressure cooker ready to pop—two valid needs squashed by rigid management. The poster’s urgent eye surgery, critical to avoid permanent vision loss, understandably takes precedence, but Candice’s wedding, planned for years, is no small matter. Her anger at her colleague is misplaced, born of stress and a boss who’d rather cancel dreams than hire temp staff.

Dr. Amy Edmondson, a workplace dynamics expert, notes, “Poor management practices, like inflexible leave policies, erode trust and pit employees against each other” (Harvard Business Review). The boss’s refusal to accommodate both employees’ needs—despite one being a medical emergency and the other a major life event—reflects a failure in leadership. Candice’s lashing out is human but misdirected.

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A 2023 study from the Society for Human Resource Management found that 68% of employees feel unsupported when workplace policies prioritize profit over personal needs (SHRM). Here, understaffing forces a zero-sum game, unfairly burdening both employees.

For solutions, the poster could approach Candice with empathy, clarifying the surgery’s urgency and redirecting frustration toward management. Both could advocate for better staffing solutions or escalate the issue to HR. Candice might consider taking her leave anyway, risking consequences but prioritizing her wedding.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit swooped in like shoppers on Black Friday, serving up opinions as sharp as a clearance sale. Here’s what the community had to say:

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armchairshrink99 − NAH between you and Candace but your boss is an absolute d**k. I mean, it's just retail if I were her I'd f**king quit the last day before the wedding and just get a new job after. No one I know would consider that kind of situation a red flag while hiring

Realistic-Nebula5961 − Your boss is the a**hole here. Period.. NAH in your and Candice's part.

Dabbles-In-Irony − NTA - your managers are, however, massive, pulsating, assholes. You have a medical issue that needs resolving, Candice has had her time off booked well in advance for a major life event. Both are valid reasons for time off.

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I can see why Candice is upset but she directing her anger at the wrong person because her attitude would not fly if it was directed at management. What’s so important about your particular role that they cannot allow an exception to have two people off at the same time just this once?

togocann49 − Your boss is TA here. Your stuff is one of those things that can occur, but that shouldn’t effect your co-worker. What if someone calls in sick while another worker is on vacation? Does your boss expect vacationing employee to just show up? Your co-worker is booked, and you have an emergency, your boss should make do without you both.

BanjaxedMini − NAH Except your boss and your employer's policies. She needs to go ahead with her wedding or else lose thousands and you need to go ahead with your surgery or lose your health.. You both need to support each other against this unfair situation.

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NarrativeScorpion − Nta. And neither is Candice, she's stressed as f**k about her wedding which although it doesn't entirely excuse her behaviour, does make it somewhat understandable. However, the person she *should* be having a go at (and the AH in this situation) is your boss.

It's not your responsibility to ensure that your department has adequate staff to cover leave, it's your boss' You and Candice both have extremely valid reasons for needing time off, and your boss should be doing whatever they can to accommodate both of you.

certain_people − NTA. The a**hole here in your boss. You both have every right to that time, it is just bad luck that the two lined up. She's lashing out and it's misdirected, she needs to be angry at him.

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Cybermagetx − NAH except for your boss. Sorry but she needs to just go to her wedding. Medical treatments and major family events trumps work each and every time. Edit your idiotic boss would rather be even more understaffed then granting time off. Which often leads to more people leaving.

CaitiieBuggs − NAH for you and Candice. She’s rightfully pissed, but misdirecting it at you. It’s possible management threw you under the bus when taking away her vacation time and that’s why she has lashed out at you; “sorry, we had to because of OP, they forced our hand”. I’ve seen it at my old job.

Management is TA in this situation, it’s their responsibility to find staffing accommodations for PTO and sick leave. Maybe when she’s not so hot you can have a conversation with Candace. I think she should still go to her wedding and ditch this job.

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Maybe, if you two had a decent working relationship prior to this, you can even offer to be a reference if she chooses to leave to find somewhere reasonable.

Suspicious-Win7360 − NTA. The only butthole here is your boss and your attendance policy. Candice should not be mad because of this obvious s**tty attendance policy. The company being understaffed is not your concern and you both should get the time off and he figures out how to manage.. Good luck on your surgery, by the way!!

These Reddit takes are as heated as a summer stockroom, but do they cut through the chaos or just add to the noise?

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This story of an urgent surgery clashing with a dream wedding leaves us questioning workplace fairness and misplaced blame. The poster’s medical need was non-negotiable, but Candice’s wedding deserved better than a manager’s cold shoulder. What would you do if your health and a colleague’s big day were pitted against each other? Share your thoughts or experiences—how would you navigate this retail nightmare?

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