AITA for having a college fund for my niece and not my nephew?
Imagine a bustling restaurant, where the clatter of plates mingles with the hum of ambition. A generous uncle, proud of his 18-year-old niece’s hustle, quietly builds a college fund for her, doubling her wages and rewarding her social media savvy. But when her twin brother, who chose a different path, learns he’s getting nothing, family harmony sours faster than day-old soup. This tale of fairness, family, and tough choices stirs up questions about rewarding effort versus equal treatment.
The drama unfolds as the uncle, a restaurant owner, faces his brother’s wrath over a $63,000 college fund for his niece but not his nephew. The twins, once on equal footing, now stand divided by a decision rooted in work ethic and opportunity. It’s a story that resonates with anyone navigating family expectations and the value of hard-earned rewards.
‘AITA for having a college fund for my niece and not my nephew?’
This family feud boils down to a clash of fairness and responsibility. The uncle honored a deal with his niece, rewarding her initiative, while the nephew’s choice to work elsewhere left him empty-handed. The brother’s anger is understandable—nobody wants their kid saddled with loans—but expecting equal outcomes ignores the niece’s effort. It’s a spicy mix of family loyalty and tough love.
The broader issue is financial planning for education. A 2023 College Board report notes that 53% of U.S. students rely on loans, with average debt hitting $30,000. The nephew’s predicament is common, but the uncle’s deal wasn’t charity—it was compensation for work. Expecting a free ride without effort sidesteps accountability.
Financial expert Dave Ramsey says, “Money is earned, not owed”. Here, the niece earned her fund through years of work and savvy social media posts. The uncle’s transparency about the deal (confirmed by Reddit comments) undercuts favoritism claims. Still, the nephew’s feelings of exclusion merit empathy.
For solutions, the uncle could offer the nephew a similar deal now—work at the restaurant with a savings match to offset loans. Family mediation might ease tensions, focusing on clear communication. The niece should be shielded from guilt, as her earnings are hers. Financial literacy workshops could also help the twins navigate future decisions, ensuring fairness without undermining effort.
These are the responses from Reddit users:
Reddit’s peanut gallery brought the heat, dishing out support and some sharp takes. Here’s what they had to say, with a pinch of humor to keep it lively:
![[Reddit User] − Info: did you make your nephew aware of the great deal he was missing out on when he chose to rather work with his friends or was your and your nieces saving deal kept a secret?](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/215297cmt1-01.png)
![[Reddit User] − NTA - However, they may bully her into splitting it anyway. Once you give it to her, it's hers to do as she pleases so don't be surprised if that happens.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/215297cmt1-03.png)
![[Reddit User] − NTA. But if I was you, I would do what another poster advised-- print out an accounting of how many hours your niece worked for you, and how many posts she made. (so: 3 years, at $11 per hour, assuming 1 post per week à $107, means that niece worked 26 hours per week for you on average).](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/215297cmt1-07.png)
These Reddit opinions are as bold as a five-star Yelp review, but do they capture the full flavor of this family drama? It’s a mix of cheers for the uncle and warnings about family pressure.
This story of an uncle’s deal with his niece, leaving his nephew out, serves up a hearty debate on fairness, effort, and family ties. Was the uncle right to reward only the niece’s hustle, or should he have planned for both twins? It’s a tricky recipe of loyalty and accountability. What would you do if you were balancing family expectations with hard-earned rewards? Drop your thoughts below!
