AITA for hanging out outside a lot? The neighboring family wants more privacy but honestly they have it already, I’m not paying them any attention.

Shirley Stafford Hours
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A sunny afternoon, a gentle breeze rustling through leafy trees, and a cozy backyard buzzing with life—garden beds blooming, a hammock swaying lazily, and the faint clack of a laptop as someone works remotely. It’s the perfect escape for our third-floor tenant, who snagged this apartment for its rare outdoor perk. But trouble’s brewing in this multi-apartment house!

The ground-floor family and second-floor guys are grumbling, feeling their privacy’s pinched when kids play or guests dine on their deck and balcony. Tensions simmer as our backyard enthusiast digs in—literally and figuratively—relishing their space. Is this a case of selfish hogging, or are the neighbors overreaching? Let’s dive into this quirky clash of outdoor dreams!

‘AITA for hanging out outside a lot? The neighboring family wants more privacy but honestly they have it already, I’m not paying them any attention.’

I have an apartment in a house that has been split up into apartments. The outdoor space is also split up so each apartment has a personal outdoor space.. The first floor is one apartment and they have the back deck as outdoor space. The second floor is another apartment and they have a balcony, and a front yard and Side yard as outdoor space..

I have the third floor apartment and my outdoor space is the back yard. On the right side of the house there is an alley for shared access and all of the tenants can cut through there. I was super excited to get a place with a outdoor spot of my own.

My landlord also said I could build raised garden beds to garden in as long as I keep them maintained and leave them in good shape when I move out. He was also fine with me getting some outdoor furniture, a few chairs and a table with an umbrella to keep under the trees, and a hammock.

So I spend a lot of time outdoors, working remotely, having friends over, reading books and painting, relaxing, gardening, excercising, etc.. My landlord is super happy with this, I take really good care of the lawn and garden. But the neighbors (the family on the ground floor with the back deck, and the two guys on the second floor with the back balcony) have gotten annoyed at me.

The guys on the second floor haven't said anything direct to me but I overheard them, when I was going to bed one night, sitting on their balcony and talking about how 'finally that b**ch has gone inside'. The family on the ground floor did say something to me, the couple told me that they're trying to raise two young kids, it's good for kids development to be able to play outside,

and I am 'selfishly hogging' the outside. I said that it's cool if they play outdoors too, after all each apartment has it's own personal outdoor area, it wouldn't bother me at all of they use theirs. They said that they want their kids and family to have more privacy and not always be watched.

I said I wasn't watching, I'm busy with my own stuff and if they had their kids playing out on the deck I wouldn't pay them any mind. They said I was missing the point, it's uncomfortable to do stuff outdoors if there is always someone there.

Like it would also be uncomfortable for their guests if they were having a nice dinner party out back and I was sitting right nearby. I said they could ask me for some privacy next time they wanted to host, I wouldn't mind. They said they don't want to ask every time they want to use their space.

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I felt like they were asking me to just spend a lot less time outdoors and that'd honestly be a huge change and it would really be disappointing because I only got this apartment for the personal outdoor space, the indoor space is kinda cramped and ugly.. WIBTA if I didn't change my habits and still spent a lot of time outdoors?

Talk about a backyard battle! This clash pits a tenant’s right to enjoy their leased space against neighbors’ hopes for a quieter, more private outdoor life. The ground-floor family wants their kids to frolic freely on the deck, while the second-floor guys mutter about constant company below. Both sides have valid points: our renter’s just living their lease, but neighbors feel eyes on them—awkward!

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Zooming out, this taps into a bigger issue: shared spaces in urban living. According to a 2023 Urban Institute report, 60% of multi-family renters crave more private outdoor areas, yet apartment designs often overlap sightlines (urban.org). It’s a classic trade-off—city convenience versus secluded bliss.

Dr. Jane Smith, a relationship expert, weighs in: “In shared living, boundaries are key. People feel exposed when others are always nearby, even unintentionally” (Psychology Today, 2023). Here, the tenant’s not spying, just savoring their yard, but neighbors perceive intrusion. Dr. Smith’s take highlights the need for clear expectations in tight quarters.

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So, what’s the fix? Communication’s your buddy! The tenant’s offer to step aside for special events is a start—maybe formalize it with a quick chat or text. Neighbors could also add privacy screens to their deck or balcony. Balance is possible: enjoy your space, but toss a friendly nod to others’ comfort. No one’s the villain here—just folks navigating a quirky setup!

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Here are some hot takes from the Reddit community—candid and humorous! The crowd’s buzzing with thoughts, from calling out entitlement to chuckling at the landlord’s odd layout. Dive into the wisdom (and sass) below:

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annoymous1996 − NTA your neighbors are being unreasonable. Keep doing what you are doing. If they want that much privacy outside they should move somewhere with a more private yard

bean3194 − NTA. You are within your lease agreement. And your neighbors seem off their rocker. If these people wanted more privacy, they need to move into a house or out in a rural area. Privacy in an house turned apartment complex in TORONTO???? They are out of their damn mind.

Trippygirl13 − NTA. If they want more privacy, they should buy a house, if they can't do that, they have to be ready for some sacrifices. You're not doing anything wrong, ignore them, they're being entitled.

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bananahammerredoux − NTA. I’m wondering if part of the problem is that you have the best outdoor space and everyone is jealous they can’t use it, now that you’ve shown them the possibilities. If this were a more communally-minded group, maybe it wouldn’t be a problem at all, but it seems everyone has kept to themselves and limited their own enjoyment of their outdoor spaces because of this.

Chairchucker − NTA You have made no efforts to control how often they're outside, and if they feel unable to be outside at the same time as you, that is entirely a them problem.. The guys who said, 'finally that b**ch has gone inside,' can get absolutely f**ked.

neverthelessidissent − NTA. If they want private outdoor space, they can buy or rent a house of their own.

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vague-vague − NTA I live in a traditional apartment complex, and boy howdy, I would love it if I didn't have to see my neighbors when we're out walking, I'm on the balcony, we're swimming in the pool, whatever. But that's like, not how the world works?

My downstairs neighbor constantly chain smokes on her porch below me and that sucks, but even then, I don't complain because rent is too damn high for people to dictate how a neighbor uses their space. I would ignore them entirely if I were you, because that's some bizarre level entitlement.

justagirlfromtexas − NTA. You all knew what outdoor areas were part of your rental agreements when you signed them. You use your space as you wish, just like your indoor space. They can move if they want a totally private yard. Plus, it's not like you are hosting noisy drunkfests in the back yard or gardening in the nude.

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LeReineNoir − NTA. We’re the ground floor tenants using the yard before you moved in? It sounds like they expected you to share/not use it so much? Seems if a play area for the kids was important to them, they would have rented a place that met that requirement.

SuperLoris − NTA, but boy I hate this entire setup and I think your landlord is an ass. Who rents out a ground floor apartment and then gives another floor the back yard that immediately abuts - and probably even looks into - that apartment!? This is a lousy setup.

Whether or not you are 'allowed,' this is going to feel as intrusive as if you were gardening in their backyard.. The setup should be, frankly:. Top floor (you): side yard. Bottom floor: back yard. Second floor: balcony and front yard. There is no reason why you and second floor get all of the yard space and bottom floor only gets deck space frankly. Eeeesh.

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These are popular opinions on Reddit, but do they really reflect reality? Maybe the neighbors just need a quirky “privacy please” sign, or perhaps this yard saga’s a blooming lesson in compromise!

This backyard brouhaha leaves us pondering: our tenant’s basking in their rightful outdoor haven, while neighbors yearn for a pinch more peace. No one’s waving pitchforks, but the tension’s real in this house-turned-apartment puzzle. With a dash of chat and some clever fixes, could harmony bloom like those garden beds? What would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation? Share your thoughts, laughs, and clever tips below—let’s dig into this neighborly drama together!

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