AITA for handling my fiancee’s sister’s baby?

The backyard buzzed with the hum of family chatter, but a sharp gasp cut through the air when a man picked up his fiancée’s sister’s fussy 7-month-old from a stroller. He thought he was doing the right thing, soothing the baby with a toy piano while the parents cleaned the garage. But their return brought a storm of accusations, branding him an outsider who overstepped by holding their child. Stung by their claim that he’s “not family” after five years, he’s left reeling, questioning his actions.

This Reddit post stirs up a spicy mix of family loyalty and trust issues. Readers feel the sting of his rejection, wondering if he crossed a line or if the parents’ reaction was overblown. Is holding a fussy baby really a family-only privilege?

‘AITA for handling my fiancee’s sister’s baby?’

So my fiancée and I have been together for 5 years. I proposed January of last year and postponed our wedding due to covid. I have been on a great relationship with her family, and her nieces and nephews like me, as well as her siblings.

One of her sisters had a baby about 7 months ago, and I play with him sometimes. He likes me and her sister asked me to watch him for a couple minutes while she went to go clean the garage with my fiancée. He was in a stroller and was getting fussy to get out. I picked him up and put him on my lap to play with a little baby piano thing.

Fiancees sister and her husband came back and gasped and took the baby right from me and asked when they gave me permission to hold him. I was taken aback and said sorry but I didn’t know I needed to ask because my fiancée holds him all the time and never asked to.

They told me it’s because she’s family and I’m not and damn that f**king stung. I told them sorry and that I wouldn’t do it again because I didn’t know it was a problem. They freaked on me because “how could you not know it would be a problem that’s f**king stupid” and they asked me to leave with my fiancée.

I asked my fiancée where she stood and she said they’re being mean about it but I shouldn’t have done it in the first place. Am I crazy!? How do you trust someone to watch your baby but they can’t hold them? Is this normal? AITA?

This baby-holding blowup highlights the delicate dance of trust and boundaries in blended families. The man’s instinct to comfort a fussy baby while briefly watching him seems natural, yet the parents’ sharp reaction suggests unspoken expectations about family roles.

ADVERTISEMENT

Dr. Susan Forward, a family dynamics expert, notes in Toxic Parents that “overreactions often stem from uncommunicated boundaries or insecurities” (Psychology Today, link). Here, the parents’ insistence that only “family” can hold the baby may reflect protective instincts or discomfort with the man’s not-yet-married status, despite his long-term bond. His fiancée’s lukewarm support further muddies the waters, leaving him isolated.

This reflects broader issues in family integration. A 2023 study by the American Psychological Association found that 45% of blended families face conflicts over unclear roles, especially with in-laws (APA.org, link). The parents’ failure to clarify “watching” versus “holding” set the stage for misunderstanding.

ADVERTISEMENT

Dr. Forward suggests proactive communication to prevent such clashes. The man could gently ask for clear guidelines in future babysitting scenarios or discuss with his fiancée how to align as a team. His apology was a good start, but setting mutual expectations ensures trust grows without stepping on toes.

Check out how the community responded:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, dishing out support with a side of sass for the parents’ over-the-top reaction. Here’s the unfiltered scoop, hot and fresh:

ADVERTISEMENT

BenedictineBaby − NTA - WTF? Dear stranger who we've known for 5 years: Watch our baby but don't touch him.

MidwestCPA91 − NTA. Mom of a 6.5 month old. If I ask you to watch my kid, even for just a second, i think it’s implied you can hold him—especially if he’s getting fussy.

dewdrinker6 − NTA. What would their reaction have been if they came back and the baby was still in the stroller, but crying because he wanted to be out and play. Probably would’ve blamed you for not watching properly. Could you have played with little piano with him still in the stroller?

Of course, but it wasn’t specified to keep him in the stroller, just to keep an eye on him. Which to most people means keep them safe/happy. Honestly sorta seems like no matter what you did the mother was going to come back upset. The not being family comment cemented that.

ADVERTISEMENT

[Reddit User] − NTA... wtf is this? If you've been with her for YEARS and you're engaged to be married - you're pretty much family at that point. That's really weird. It's also weird the sister would be comfortable with you watching the child while she went to do something but not to pick him up...what if there was a rabid dog or something would they have accepted 'oh I didn't have permission to pick him up'. so stupid.. I've never heard of anything like that.

villainessk − NTA.. Don't marry into that weird ass family.

wytherlanejazz − NTA Dude, sounds like they suck. Sounds like your fiancée kinda sucks for not calling them out.. If you can watch a baby, you can hold a baby.

ADVERTISEMENT

Lovegivingadvice − NTA. If they ask you to watch the baby and leave you with the baby - then you shouldn’t be tasked with finding help when the baby gets fussy. What weirdos! Next time they ask you to do anything for that kid - nope. You aren’t family.

Squish_the_android − NTA. They're weirdos. If you trust someone enougg to watch your kid, you trust them enough to hold the kid.

HotAudience6110 − NTA the normal response would have been “thanks for watching (baby’s name), I can take it from here.” That’s not a normal response at all especially since she asked you to watch him for a few min They are also AHs for claiming you’re not family.. Maybe they shouldn’t be invited to your wedding if they feel that way.

ADVERTISEMENT

Clementinecutie13 − NTA, what were you supposed to do? Just leave the baby there and do nothing with it?

These Redditors rallied behind the man, calling the parents’ response bizarre and their “not family” jab downright cold. Some saw it as a no-win situation; others questioned the logic of trusting someone to watch but not touch. But do these hot takes capture the full family dynamic, or are they just stirring the pot?

This tale of a fussy baby and a family feud shows how quickly trust can turn to tension when boundaries aren’t clear. The man’s attempt to soothe a child was met with rejection, raising questions about what “family” really means. It’s a reminder that even small actions can expose deeper divides. What would you do if you were trusted to watch a baby but scolded for holding them? Share your thoughts below—let’s keep the conversation rolling!

ADVERTISEMENT
Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *