AITA for going to college and asking for the money from a trust fund after my dad spent it because I previously said I wasn’t interested in college?

Picture a young adult, fresh out of high school, diving into a job instead of college, certain it’s their path. Years later, at 26, they snag a scholarship and a company perk to fund a degree—only to learn their $50,000 trust fund, meant for education until age 30, was given to their half-sister because they once said “no” to college. Their dad, now scrambling with a loan to repay it, and his furious wife cry foul, but the student stands firm.

This Reddit saga is a sharp clash of family trust and legal rights. Was claiming the trust fund a fair demand, or a selfish blow to a well-meaning dad? It’s a story that crackles with betrayal, ambition, and the weight of a grandmother’s wish.

‘AITA for going to college and asking for the money from a trust fund after my dad spent it because I previously said I wasn’t interested in college?’

This Reddit post lays bare a fight over a trust fund’s fate and a family’s fairness. Here’s the story, unfiltered:

When my grandmother passed away, she left behind a trust that was only designated as for my dad's kids education costs. 50 thousand was earmarked for me and my younger half sister each. And we had until we were 30 years old to use it before the money went to my dad to use as he wished.. When I graduated high school, I got an interesting job and decided against college.

My dad asked me if I was very sure when I was 20 that I'm not going down the college path, and I said no.. My younger half sister ended up going to a private college. She's two years younger than me. I'm now 26. My job has a program where they pay 25% of a 4 year college program for qualified employees.

I got accepted to an awesome school and with a scholarship, my company's contributions and the 50 thousand from the trust, I would graduate with zero debt. So I told my dad about my plan and he immediately panicked. Apparently he gave all the money to my sister because I had said I wasn't going to college. She graduated with zero debt.

I was pissed off that he had done this without at least giving me a heads up. I then reminded him that the money was legally mine and that I expected to receive it. In the end, my dad had to take out a loan to give me the money. His wife is furious about the situation and my dad is upset with me.. I'm really enjoying college at least, even if it is online.. AITA?

This family feud is a stark lesson in fiduciary duty and foresight. The trust, set by the grandmother, explicitly gave each child until age 30 to use $50,000 for education, a legal directive the father ignored by reallocating the funds without consent. His assumption, based on a casual chat when the person was 20, doesn’t justify bypassing the trust’s terms, risking their educational opportunity.

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Estate attorney Lisa Fialco notes, “Trustees must adhere to a trust’s terms; misallocation is a breach, often requiring repayment” (Source). A 2023 study in Trusts & Estates Journal found that 48% of trust disputes arise from premature distribution errors (Source). The father’s loan to rectify his mistake acknowledges his error, but his wife’s anger misplaces blame—the sister’s debt-free graduation isn’t the person’s fault.

The person’s demand was legally sound, though a pre-college check with their dad might’ve softened the shock. “Communicate intent early,” Fialco advises. They should focus on their studies, while the father and sister address any repayment tensions. The wife’s fury is irrelevant to the trust’s intent.

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Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit weighed in with takes as bold as a bursar’s bill. Here’s what the crowd had to say:

caniplayalso − NAH. Your dads reaction says it all, he didnt give it away to be an a**hole, he made a decision to help his daughter. If you got to 30 and didnt go to college he could have spent that 60k on what ever he wanted. He didnt buy himself a sports car or something selfish, he put itnto good use with the information available at the time.. It is up to the 3 of you to work out some sort of deal going forward.

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neosituation_unknown − NTA no question.. That Trust is a legal instrument directed by your departed grandmother.. It was HER money and HER wish that YOU receive it for education.. It was not your father's.. They can kick rocks, they know they are in the wrong.

[Reddit User] − NTA. even if he assumed you weren’t going to college, which if i read correctly you said you told him you weren’t sure if you wouldn’t go to college, it was your money to spend. his fault for giving it to someone it wasn’t intended for.

lightwoodorchestra − NTA. This is on your dad. Your grandmother explicitly stated that you should have until age 30 to decide and he spent it anyways. He asked if you were 'sure', but he didn't ask for your consent to give the money to your sister. You are owed that money.

[Reddit User] − NTA. It was your money. Your father had no right to spend it. He should be upset with himself.

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nippitybibble − NTA your dad and sister stole from you. His wife can take it up with her daughter if she wants the money back. ETA: I don't think your dad is TA for doing what he did, even though it was theft. It made sense with the info he had at the time and he has corrected his error by taking out the loan to return your money to you. TA here is his wife for getting pissed and making you feel bad for claiming your inheritance.

Mysterious-System680 − NTA. Your grandmother gave you until age 30 to use the money for a reason. She knew that you might not be ready to go to college at 18/19 but that you might feel differently later in life. Your father had no legal or moral right to give away your trust fund while you still had time to use it.

AntiqueRaspberries − Edit: Clarification that this is not legal advice and though I might consider the legal obligation to be binding based on the information given, I am not privy to the exact wording of the trust and should not be relied on for legal advice. As always with reddit, seek the advice of a legal professional before following the advice you read on reddit

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NTA- like I know it was good intentioned to help your sister graduate debt free but in this case he had a legal obligation to hold the money in trust for you until the age of 30 or to pay for college at which point he is allowed to do with it what he wishes. He is legally liable for the misused trust money and if you took him to court, you would win based on the will and terms of the trust.

He might be upset about having to take out a loan but he abused his authority as trustee of the trust and you are legally entitled to that 50k for college. He might have had good intentions but good intentions can still be AH behaviour and here it was because he broke the terms of the trust and will.

VariationInfinite − NTA, the money was earmarked for education and you were well within the parameters set to receive it. It sucks that your dad didn't respect this, but play stupid games-win stupid prizes.

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jbweens − Tough but I’d probably say no assholes here, from what you said the money was yours to use by the time you were 30 and you’re well within that. Yes it puts him in a bad spot but he took out the loan because he knows you’re in the right whether he likes it or not. Nothing his wife can really say, it’s not her place to be angry.

These Reddit opinions are as sharp as a tuition invoice, but do they miss the father’s good intentions gone awry?

This story is a potent mix of ambition, betrayal, and legal lines. The person’s claim to their trust fund honored their grandmother’s wish, but it cost their dad a loan and family peace. Could a clearer talk years ago have spared the drama, or was the father’s choice a theft? What would you do if your inheritance vanished without notice? Share your thoughts—have you ever fought for what was legally yours?

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