AITA for going skydiving without my best friend on her birthday?

Jonathan Hours
Comments 0 Comments

The thrill of a planned skydive hung in the air, a birthday gift crafted with love for Lucy, an 18-year-old weathering a tough year after losing her mom. Her best friend, the mastermind behind this adventure, shelled out hundreds for skydiving, dinner, and a hotel stay, ensuring every detail was perfect. For months, reminders buzzed to keep Lucy’s calendar clear, her excitement palpable—until a last-minute crush threw a wrench in the works.

Now, with non-refundable tickets and a friend choosing work over celebration, the skydiving duo faces a dilemma: soar without Lucy or let the day crash. Her tears and accusations sting, but is it fair to guilt-trip friends who planned her dream day? This tale of loyalty and let-downs dives into the heart of friendship’s highs and lows.

‘AITA for going skydiving without my best friend on her birthday?’

What started as a heartfelt birthday plan turned into a clash of priorities and hurt feelings. Here’s the full story, straight from Reddit:

So a couple of months back I asked my best friend (we’ll call her Lucy) what she really wanted to do for her 18th birthday if she could do anything. She said she really wanted to go skydiving with me and our other friend, Rachel. Normally, I wouldn’t spend that kind of money on anyone’s birthday, but Lucy has had a rough year: she recently lost her mom due to COVID.

So I scheduled and paid for the 3 of us to go skydiving on Lucy’s birthday (which is on Saturday) way back at the beginning of March. It cost several hundred dollars not to mention that I had a whole day planned. We’d get coffee, go skydiving, I’d take Lucy out for dinner at her favorite restaurant and then we’d end the night at a hotel downtown. Rachel pitched in to pay for the dinner and the hotel.

I made sure that Lucy knew about these plans literally 2 months in advance, so that she could get the day off work. And she assured me that she had months ago. I’ve been annoying her for 2 months texting her periodically just to check that she still had that day off and remembered not to make any plans.

Well flash forward to this morning and guess f**king what: a guy that she has a crush on at work asked her to switch shifts with him and she just couldn’t say no. At first I thought she was joking, she’s like, “Can’t you just reschedule for another day? Have you already paid?”

I tell her of course I’ve already paid and it’s non-refundable this close to the actual date, and that Rachel and I had already booked a room for the hotel as well. She’s like, “Well I’m sure if you just called you could get a refund.” So I pull up the email from the skydiving company that literally says appointments are non-refundable.

ADVERTISEMENT

She’s like, “So, what are we going to do?” I’m like well I know what Rachel and I will be doing, “we’re going skydiving with or without you. I already paid for it.” Then she had the audacity to start crying and playing the victim: “wow, I can’t believe my best friends are going skydiving and to dinner without me on MY 18th birthday. All because I had to work. Some friends you guys are.

If this was your birthday and we did something without you, you’d be pissed.” She’s the one who decided to pick up a 12hr shift on the one day we’d made plans months in advance. I told her to text her crush back and say never mind she can’t take the shift.

ADVERTISEMENT

To which she replied, “I can’t do that, I already told him that I would.” Like b**ch, you told me the same thing months ago. The way I see it, she’s choosing a guy with a girlfriend in his late twenties over 2 girls she’s been friends with for 4 years.

Lucy’s last-minute decision to ditch her birthday plans for a crush left her friends grounded in frustration. The OP’s months of planning—skydiving, dinner, a hotel—showed deep care, especially given Lucy’s loss. Yet, her choice to prioritize a work shift over a non-refundable adventure suggests a deeper issue: misplaced priorities in friendships.

This reflects a broader trend among young adults navigating social commitments. A 2021 study from the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found 65% of young adults struggle with balancing romantic interests and friendships, often prioritizing the former (Source). Lucy’s emotional manipulation—crying and blaming her friends—adds strain to an already tense situation.

ADVERTISEMENT

Psychologist Dr. Irene Levine notes, “Friendships thrive on mutual respect and reliability” (Source). Lucy’s failure to honor her commitment undermines trust. The OP’s decision to proceed is a boundary, not betrayal.

To mend this, Lucy could apologize and plan a make-up outing, while the OP might invite another friend to use the ticket

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Reddit didn’t skimp on the shade, with users cheering the OP’s decision and roasting Lucy’s priorities. From calls to drop the friendship to tips for enjoying the day, here’s the community’s take:

ADVERTISEMENT

InfinitePicture5779 − NTA. She knew you had plans, but she let her emotions get in the way of making a sound judgement call and now she’s having to face the consequences.. I hope you and Rachel have a blast skydiving, and make sure to take lots of pictures.

Zeldanerds − NTA. You went out of your way for her. She has a crush on the wrong guy. I'm sure she's dropped birthday hints to this guy. Besides, why does he want the shift? Nope. No way.. So have fun. Oh and by the way, skydiving is awesomesauce.

ClassicCityMatt − NTA. She didn’t “have to” work, she chose to take her crush’s shift.

ADVERTISEMENT

boniemonie − NTA. Sorry about the wasted ticket. That sucks: because you organised a sensational day! Enjoy it. But don’t bend over backwards for Lucy in a hurry. Fine if it suits, not a priority if it doesn’t. Her loss.

Kereceres − she’s choosing a guy with a girlfriend in his late twenties over 2 girls she’s been friends with for 4 years.. NTA NTA NTA - He legit has a GIRLFRIEND already.. Shes showing you her true colors, so run. Drop this chick

Magaimagado − NTA. Have fun skydiving.

ADVERTISEMENT

[Reddit User] − NTA. But your friend sounds like she needs to see a counselor. That’s some pretty wild thought gymnastics.. Ignore the emotional manipulation. Go skydiving. Have great day. If someone can fill that third spot all the better.

snarkisms − Nta - if it isn't the consequences of her actions. Ask another friend to go with you so the ticket isn't wasted and have fun!

schneckeTRAINrolzSLO − She is no victim here. Her inability to correctly use the words yes (to skydiving) and no (to crush) are not your responsibility. Not to mention that she just completely trampled over your very kind gesture. Enjoy your trip.. NTA.

ADVERTISEMENT

cherryblossom1994 − NTA. Your friend is seriously letting you know exactly what your position is on her totem pole. Never go out of your way for her again. Do not let her guilt you down the road about this either because she's going to try. She knew how much effort you put into this.

How much it cost you and Rachel to set it all up like you said months ago. She sounds rather pathetic to ditch you guys on her special day for a guy who has a gf...wow that says a lot about your friend. Hopefully you two go and love it. Take pics and genuinely enjoy yourself because you guys deserve to still have a fabulous time.

These Reddit hot takes are bold, but do they capture the full fallout of this birthday bust? Is the OP right to soar without Lucy, or should they have grounded the plans?

ADVERTISEMENT

This skydiving saga reveals the turbulence of friendships when priorities clash. The OP poured heart and cash into Lucy’s dream day, only for a crush to steal the spotlight. Should they have waited, or was going ahead the right call? If your friend bailed on a big plan, how would you handle it? Share your thoughts and let’s dive into this friendship drama!

Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *