AITA for going out every other weekend when I have a baby at home?

A new father is facing intense criticism after continuing a routine of going out every other weekend while his wife stays home with their newborn and three other children. He believes his limited time away is reasonable given his demanding work schedule and the fact that he still helps at home.

His wife, however, sees the situation very differently. Exhausted from caring for a baby who is breastfeeding and managing the household while schools are closed, she feels overwhelmed and unsupported. When he insists that he “deserves a Saturday,” the disagreement spills onto a social network, where readers debate fairness, shared responsibility, and whether personal downtime is appropriate when one partner has no opportunity for rest at all.

‘AITA for going out every other weekend when I have a baby at home?’

The conflict centers on how free time is divided after the baby’s birth.

I have a infant at home and 3 step kids. I've gone out every other weekend since my wife gave birth. I'm gone roughly 3-4 hours, with a buddy of...

She thinks that I should be home making dinner every single weekend because she cooks during the week, while taking care of the baby and the other kids (schools been...

His wife explains that she feels overwhelmed and unsupported.

I work 4am-4pm. I'm home every night after work and every other weekend I stay home. She says she doesn't get breaks and she says "I'm not even saying you...

pull your head out of your f__king ass and cook dinner and take some slack off of me". I do cook dinner- Fridays and Sundays- every week and the Saturdays...

She deserves breaks too but is currently breastfeeding the baby, who won't take a bottle (we try nearly every other night). Therefore she will get breaks but right now we...

Outside opinions only intensified the disagreement.

Her friends of course think I'm a raging d__k because when I don't work, they think I should stay home the entire time and cook and clean and take care...

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I'm only giving myself 1 day every two weeks but apparently this is not good enough. I shouldn't be having breaks because my wife isn't able to, in their eyes....

The central issue is not the occasional outing, but the imbalance of rest and responsibility. While the poster works long hours, his wife is effectively on duty around the clock, caring for an infant who cannot be left easily due to breastfeeding, along with three other children. Her request is not for isolation or sacrifice, but for tangible relief during an especially demanding phase.

Some may argue that earning income entitles one partner to downtime. However, parenting and household management are also labor-intensive, particularly when sleep deprivation and recovery from childbirth are involved. When only one partner has access to breaks, resentment is almost inevitable.

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From a broader perspective, this highlights how “helping out” is often mistaken for equal partnership. Shared responsibility means adjusting expectations when circumstances change. In early parenthood, fairness is less about equal leisure and more about ensuring neither partner is pushed beyond exhaustion.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Many users strongly criticized the poster, emphasizing unequal labor and lack of awareness.

PrezofPeanutGallery − YTA, 100%. She doesn't get breaks, and not because she she's breastfeeding, but because you have 3 other children that she is also caring for while you're out...

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She's doing it all and you're doing almost nothing, even when you are at home. What do you do for your family, aside from cook a couple days a week,...

What are you doing to lessen the load of your wife? Two dinners a week isn't going to cut it, btw, that's just, sad, really.

You do not "deserve a Saturday", you deserve a swift kick in the ass, especially if you can't see that you're leaving your wife to do everything.

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What she's asking for is a pittance compared to what you should be willing to do, without being prompted like a toddler.

You shouldn't need someone to tell you this. You're a big boy now, with big boy responsibilities. I agree with her, get your head out of your ass.

Hadtosignuptofothis − YTA, you literally said she has no time and it’s particularly challenging right now.

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So your solution is to complain you don’t get to pretend you’re single and child free for a few hours rather than making dinner on a Saturday. Sheesh, make the...

SisterEmJay − she says "I'm not even saying you can't go out but seriously, pull your head out of your f__king ass and cook dinner and take some slack off...

I think your wife said it all already. Parenthood is WORK. Especially the newborn stage. Time to step up. It’s not just about your needs now. YTA.

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embopbopbopdoowop − YTA Other commenters are addressing other things, so I’ll just ask this: If you’re home 13 of every 14 evenings, why are you only cooking twice a week?

Some users offered balanced or reflective critiques.

[Reddit User] − YTA She says she doesn't get breaks and she says "I'm not even saying you can't go out but seriously, pull your head out of your f__king...

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I do cook dinner- Fridays and Sundays- every week and the Saturdays on weekends I'm home. I think I deserve a Saturday.

She deserves breaks too but is currently breastfeeding the baby, who won't take a bottle. .. Bless your heart, you really are a clueless little doodle bug. You're a parent...

Life as you knew it is over. And unless you want to wind up living on a friend's couch, you need to step up and start helping your post partum...

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Help her and the children as she recovers from giving birth. You'll get your Saturday's back in a few years but for the time being, you need to put the...

fizzbangwhiz − YTA. You and your wife should have equal rest time. If you get a day off every two weeks, she should get a day off every two weeks.

If she’s not taking days off then you shouldn’t either. You get to leave the house and go to your job five days a week. Her job is in the...

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She is there 24/7 and she doesn’t get to leave and go talk to other adults during the day. I bet you wouldn’t be very happy if you were stuck...

[Reddit User] − INFO: Why is the burden of this difficult time only for your wife to carry?

Others used blunt or pointed examples to drive the message home.

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My_igloo_is_melting − YTA. Until your wife can go out, you cannot. You stay home with her and the four kids. Yes, you should stay home the whole time. This is...

[Reddit User] − Yta you are an equal parent so respect your partner

One-Confidence-6858 − When’s the baby’s next doctor’s appointment? What are your kids getting for Christmas? What’s going in the stockings? What are you taking to family Christmas?

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How many loads of laundry went through the washer last week? How much was the eclectic bill? When is the phone bill due?

If you can answer all of these questions off the top of your head you’re pulling your weight and if for every hour you’re offing having fun while your wife...

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is going to get an hour away from the house without you calling her and asking her when she’s coming home or where some basic household item is then I...

But if you’re cooking the meals that she’s planning and shopping for 6 out of every 30 days and think that’s pulling your weight you are delusional.

This story highlights how uneven rest and invisible labor can strain relationships during early parenthood. While personal time matters, it becomes contentious when only one partner can access it. The disagreement is less about a single evening out and more about whether both parents feel equally supported.

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Do you think free time should be paused when one partner cannot take breaks? How should couples fairly divide rest during the newborn stage? At what point does “helping” fall short of true partnership?

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