AITA for going by my name, even though it’s the exact same as my stepbrother’s?

Charlotte Morse Hours
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Imagine two teens, both named Charlie, stepping into the same school with the same surname, thanks to a quirky twist of fate from their parents’ teenage romance. For one 16-year-old, Charlie is more than a name—it’s her identity, hard-won after a tough childhood. But her stepbrother, also Charlie, demands she pick a new nickname to avoid confusion, claiming he’s got dibs. The air buzzes with teenage stubbornness and family quirks.

This isn’t just a name game; it’s a battle over personal choice in a blended family. The girl’s resolve to stay Charlie clashes with her stepbrother’s frustration, leaving their parents tiptoeing around the drama. Readers can feel the sting of being asked to give up a piece of yourself. Is she wrong to hold her ground, or is her stepbrother’s demand a step too far?

‘AITA for going by my name, even though it’s the exact same as my stepbrother’s?’

My mum and my stepdad dated when they were teenagers. In this time they picked out baby names together. They agreed on a unisex name that they both liked, and agreed to give their first child this name. Let's say the name is Charlie. They broke up.

Mum had a baby with someone else, my bio dad, and they named me Charlotte, Charlie for short. Meanwhile, mum's ex also met someone, also had a baby, and named their son Charles, again using Charlie for short. Mum split with bio dad when I was 7.

She reconnected with stepdad when I was 11. I'm now 16. I live with mum, stepdad, and Other Charlie. Mum and stepdad married when I was 14. Mum took his last name, and he adopted me, so I have his surname, too.

Bio dad is referred to as bio dad because he has not earned the title of dad. Without going into too much detail, he's the reason I flinch when I'm referred to as Charlotte. Other Charlie and I are starting the same sixth form in September.

We've not been formally accepted yet but it's the only one we both like, and we're both on track with our grades. We're able to give them a preferred name, like Charlie. Other Charlie asked what I'm putting as my preferred name because he wants Charlie, not Charles, as his preferred name.

I said that I also want Charlie as my preferred name. He's gone off on one, saying that I can't be Charlie because he's Charlie, and us having the same surname is already going to give him problems. He says that I need to go by Charlotte at sixth form, or failing that use one of the other nicknames you can get from it, like Char or Lottie.

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I said no. I'm Charlie, I've always gone by Charlie, and as he's the one with the problem he can go by Charles. Other Charlie says it's on me to change my name as he had our name first and his only naming options are Charlie and Charles while I have several options.

I said it doesn't matter as we shouldn't have any classes together except maybe form and he's overthinking this. He says if it's not a big deal then I can change my name and that I'm being an arsehole for not giving this more consideration.

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Mum and stepdad say I don't have to do anything I don't want to, and they'd never expect me to go by Charlotte, but it might be nice to consider one of the other shortened versions of my name or even using my middle name because Other Charlie has issues with the family arrangement and it would be nice of me to let him have this.. AITA?

Edit: while I appreciate the alternatives to Charlie that people are suggesting, please be aware that the real name is not Charlie, and so these do not help me. Sorry.

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Names carry weight, and this Charlie’s fight to keep hers is a classic case of identity in a blended family. Her stepbrother’s insistence that she change her nickname to avoid confusion feels like a power play, especially since both have equal claim to “Charlie.” Dr. Alicia Clark, a psychologist specializing in identity, says, “Names are deeply tied to self-concept, and forcing a change can feel like erasing part of someone’s identity”. Here, the girl’s refusal to budge protects her sense of self.

The stepbrother’s argument—he had the name first—ignores their shared history and her emotional connection to “Charlie,” especially given her trauma with “Charlotte.” Blended families often face such conflicts, with 40% reporting tension over identity issues. His push for her to switch to “Char” or “Lottie” dismisses her autonomy, while his own discomfort with their family setup adds fuel.

Clark suggests validating both sides while setting boundaries. The girl could propose practical solutions, like using middle initials for school records, easing confusion without sacrificing her name. For readers, how do you handle identity clashes in blended families? Should she compromise or stand firm?

A solution might involve a family discussion to acknowledge both Charlies’ feelings, perhaps with a teacher mediating at school to ensure clarity. This keeps the peace while honoring her choice.

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Check out how the community responded:

Reddit jumped in with a mix of sass and support, cheering the teen’s right to her name. Here’s what the community had to say:

mostlyhunt − NTA, there's no such thing as calling dibs on names with 'oh i had it first'. If Charles has a problem with it then Charles can go by his name, nobody else has a problem with it.

john35093509 − NTA. He's the one with the problem, he's the one who needs to switch.. What's wrong with Chuck, btw?

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Skippy2716 − NTA and not your problem.. If it's not a big deal, then *he* can use his middle name, right?

Illustrious-Band-537 − NTA Charlie. I've taught kids with the exact same names and it's no biggie.. The odds are you'll end up being labelled 'Boy Charlie' and 'Girl Charlie' or something by your peers.

RoyallyOakie − NTA...Go by whatever name you're comfortable with. Let his problems remain his problems.

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stmrjunior − You were literally named the same, so of course you would have the same or similar nicknames like it’s unavailable? The fact is you do share a name, whether he likes it or not you can’t be called whatever you like as a nickname, so neither of you should have to change

CyndiLuMcCaleb − NTA. It's not like your official names will be the same, just your nickname. You might want to keep an eye on your official grades and such, just to make sure they don't get mixed up, but other than that, no harm done.

Classes have kids with similar or exact same names all the time, and they handle it just fine. Being different genders will probably help the situation. Just don't be too upset if you become 'girl Charlie'

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dizanimator − NTA. You should be able to go by whatever name you want. My only suggestion is that if both of you have different middle initials, then maybe label your work Charlie Middle Initial Last Name so that teachers will have an easier time recording the grades.

MenArentThrowaway − He is overthinking this. Your family circumstances are wholly unique and, let's be honest here, adorable. However, they have also put you in a very goofy position. Regardless,

you'll probably still have troubles going to the same school and going by the same name. Maybe use your middle initials? 'Charlie A & Charlie R' or something similar could work for what few classes you share.. NAH

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Coollogin − How does your family distinguish you? Are you “Mom’s Charlie” and “Dad’s Charlie”? “Girl Charlie” and “Boy Charlie”? Do they append your middle names to get something like “Charlie Ann” and “Charlie Bob”?

I have nothing against two people in the same family having the same name. I think people who freak out about that are dumb. But if I’m your parents, I’m going to need a way to say that one of you is upstairs and the other ran out to the shops.

These takes are lively, but do they miss the deeper blend of family dynamics and teenage pride? Or is Reddit just nailing the obvious?

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This tale of two Charlies is a charming yet thorny clash of identity and family ties. The teen’s fight to keep her name shines against her stepbrother’s push for control, highlighting how names shape who we are. Blended families can be a minefield of quirks—have you ever had to defend a piece of your identity? What would you do in this teen’s shoes—stick with Charlie or find a middle ground?

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