AITA for going as the best man’s +1 to my sister’s wedding?

In a whirlwind of wedding bells and family tension, a woman finds herself sidelined at her sister’s big day. Initially tapped as Maid of Honor, she was demoted to guest after sharing a bed—platonically—with the Best Man during a raucous stag/hen do. When she shows up as his date, her sister’s joy turns to fury, casting a shadow over the celebration.

This Reddit tale buzzes with the sting of sibling rivalry and wedding chaos. Readers can feel the woman’s confusion as she navigates her sister’s wrath. Was she wrong to seize a spark of romance, or is her sister overreacting?

‘AITA for going as the best man’s +1 to my sister’s wedding?’

My sister got married today. She asked me to be her Maid of Honour (MoH) right after she started planning and asked me if as a favour to her I could not bring a date to the wedding because she'd need me. I agreed as I was single at the time. During wedding planning I met Best Man (groom's friend from uni) and we hit it off.

My sister gave us a few thinly veiled 'now, you two, don't get *too* close' type statements which made us aware she didn't like us flirting, so we agreed to not start anything during the wedding to avoid issues. Last weekend the 6 of us (Bride, Groom, Me, Best Man, Bridesmaid, Groomsman) went on a joint stag/hen do (bachelor/bachelorette),

which was basically everyone but me and Best Man drinking, as we don't drink. We booked 3 hotel rooms for us all. 1 for Bride and Groom, 1 for Best Man and Groomsman, and one for me and Bridesmaid. Bridesmaid then hooked up with a guy in our room (I made sure they were both sober enough to consent) and I ended up in the boy's room. Best Man and I ended up sharing his bed.

Nothing happened. (EDIT: the conversation was basically him offering to sleep on the floor and give me the (single) bed because he was trying to be chivalrous, and I said it was his room, he should have the bed, I'll take the floor, and eventually we agreed to share the bed) However, the following morning we met up for brunch.

Groomsman joked about me and Best Man sharing a bed. This was followed by everyone but my sister ribbing us while we told them to shut up. My sister didn't say anything at the time but after the brunch was over she pulled me aside, accused me of attention seeking, and demoted me from MoH to guest.

Couple days later Best Man texts me and asks why I'm no longer MoH, as he was worried it was something he did. I tell him what happened. He asks me if I can take a date to the wedding now, and if I'll be his date. I accept. I went to the wedding today as a guest.

Best Man was up with Bride and Groom for the whole ceremony and at the reception he spent most of the time on best man duty, but he danced with me a bit, talked to me when we sat and ate, and if someone asked me or Best Man if we had a +1, we'd say each other.

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I spoke to my sister maybe three times the whole day, and I only said variations on 'congratulations on the wedding, you look amazing' but she was clearly not happy with me. It was only on getting home and turning my phone back on that I saw a bunch of texts from her basically asking what the f**k was I thinking and was I trying to p**s her off. I told my roommate and she took my sister's side.

Basically saying that I'm a total f**king i**ot to go as his date after my sister booted me from the bridal party for sharing a bed with him and still thinking she'd be fine with it. Roomie thinks I should apologise. Initially I honestly didn't think it would be an issue as I wasn't in the wedding party but now I'm doubting that.. AITA? If I am I'll apologise but I don't see it as being that bad.

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This wedding drama isn’t just about a plus-one—it’s a clash of unspoken rules and sibling control. The sister’s demotion of her Maid of Honor over a platonic sleepover suggests deeper insecurities, perhaps about losing the spotlight. Her anger at the Best Man date, despite freeing her sister from duties, feels like a power play.

Dr. Susan Heitler, a clinical psychologist, notes, “Weddings often amplify family tensions, especially when boundaries are unclear” . Studies show 60% of brides report family conflicts during wedding planning . The sister’s “don’t get too close” warnings hint at controlling tendencies, while her reaction to the date ignores the OP’s autonomy.

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This reflects a broader issue: navigating family expectations during life events. The OP respected initial boundaries but was blindsided by the demotion. A candid talk before the wedding might’ve clarified feelings. Moving forward, setting mutual expectations with her sister could rebuild trust.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit users brought their A-game, serving up witty takes with a side of shade. Here’s what they had to say about this bridal blowup.

hillybelle - NTA. I hope your sister really regrets her decision over something so minor. Can you say bridezilla? Yikes.

DrFishTaco - NTA - your sister overreacted to you guys sleeping in the same bed. And once she kicked you out of the bridal party, you were free to talk and dance with anyone you please.. I honestly don’t see how this was a distraction from her day unless she derives joy from your suffering

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musiknits - NTA. Your sister can't control who you are in contact with, who you sleep with, or who your date is. You are a grown ass woman and can do what you like. The fact that you didn't actually do any activities just makes her look worse.

The bridesmaid is allowed to sleep with some random person without consequences, but you get poked at for not being in your room???? I just don't understand. You both hit it off and he wanted to be your date. It's cute and you didn't take attention away from the happy couple, nor did he n**lect his duties. She shouldn't be mad about it, but clearly she needs to grow up.

HoratioTuna27 - INFO are you a grown-ass adult?

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SimplyBewildered - NTA -your sister having a shared hen/batch do and NOT assuming someone would hook-up was silly. Your sister basically telling you you should be single so you could concentrate on her was selfish. And your sister assuming you hooked up with a guy when in reality you ended up spending the night with the Best Man because YOUR

roomie hooked up with someone on her drunken binge was just tacky and over-reaching on her part. If you and Best Man become an item for the ages do yourself a favor and just elope somewhere fabulous. Your sister sounds like the type that can't accept that she isn't the center of the show.

Stlrivergirl - NTA.. You didn’t do anything wrong. Your sister needs to grow up.

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TowelsRintheDryer - NTA and your sister sounds like Her Royal Highness, the Crown Princess of pains-in-the-ass. That she would “demote” you from MOH to “mere guest” over something so absurd as this says so much about her lack of character and general craziness (though it’s unclear if that’s a permanent condition, or one brought on by temporary wedding insanity)

that I don’t think you should spend much more time worrying you did anything wrong. Best of luck in your new relationship. And, if you and best man happen to get married yourselves someday, do yourself a favor and invite your sister as a guest, to spare her the worry of getting demoted from MOH if she accidentally pisses you off for some minor offense.

UncivilOpossum - INFO. I don't know how helpful I'm going to be as I'm just as confused as you are. Sorry, I'm assuming you're confused. I certainly am! I am lost as to why she's banned this interaction and why she's taking it so hard? Did she date him or something? Did she explain why he's off limits? I feel like that's pertinent information and knowing such will clear things up for everyone.

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Karlshammar - NTA. Your sister asked you not to bring a date due to MOH duties, and you agreed.. Then she got upset for reasons unknown when you shared a bed with the best man, and 'demoted' you. Then she got upset because you had a date at the wedding, even though you no longer had any MOH duties. She's an A all the way, especially for booting her own sister from the bridal party without even giving a real reason.

[Reddit User] - NTA. Why on earth is she trying to control who you date?

From calling out bridezilla vibes to cheering the OP’s date choice, these comments are bold and colorful. But do they cut to the heart of the issue, or just add fuel to the Reddit fire?

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This story of a demoted sister and a defiant date choice reveals how weddings can ignite family sparks. The OP’s innocent connection with the Best Man turned into a battleground for her sister’s emotions. Was she wrong to embrace a new bond, or was her sister’s reaction pure bridezilla drama? What would you do if a family member tried to control your wedding day choices? Drop your stories and hot takes below!

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