AITA for giving my Wedding Photographer a bad review?

Picture a radiant wedding day, with soft music floating through an upscale venue, the bride’s gown shimmering under chandelier light. Amid the clinking glasses and heartfelt toasts, one detail turned heads for all the wrong reasons: the photographer’s sheer white blouse, boldly bra-less, became the evening’s unexpected centerpiece. Guests whispered, the bride and groom stifled giggles, and what could have been a quirky anecdote morphed into a saga of professional missteps and lawn-side drama.

The bride, still basking in her newlywed glow, submitted a fair review, noting the photographer’s attire as less than professional. Weeks later, this sparked a wild confrontation involving three bras, a drunken outburst, and a police escort. This Reddit tale, shared with a mix of humor and disbelief, unfolds a story of boundaries, feedback, and wedding-day surprises that linger long after the last dance.

‘AITA for giving my Wedding Photographer a bad review?’

I got married two months ago, was a moderate affair, open bar, nice dress, no kids at a slightly more upscale place than I would have liked but I guess you only live once. We hired a photographer through a company, a midsized place that assigned you an employee. We met with her a few times to go over expectations, venues, etc.

No red flags, nothing weird. Day of the wedding she shows up in a sheer white blouse with lace, completely see through, with no bra. I noticed, my husband noticed, everyone noticed. I, and most of my guests, just spent the evening trying to look away. All through the reception I could overhear people talking about it or joking about it.

My husband and I had a good laugh about it after everything was done, just sort of a 'wtf was that, did that really happen?'. I guess every wedding needs a weird story, at least mine didn't involve a guest. Couple of weeks ago we got the photo package, it was good and in line with what we paid for.

2 days later I get one of those automatic emails for a survey asking how they did. Overall I rated them well and even rated the photographer well except for the professional category, I gave a 3 (out of 5) and in the box filled in that I felt her clothing could be more professional.

A manager called me for more clarity, I explained the outfit and said it wasn't a big deal but wasn't really situationally appropriate. Manager didn't say much but sounded serious and thanked me for informing them. End of story right? Well nope. On the weekend photographer girl shows up drunk on my lawn wearing three bras and starts screaming at my house.

Long story short she was let go from her job and felt I was the AH to blame. Eventually we had to call the police to have her removed. People I know are torn, some think it was funny and I should have let it go, others think it deserved to be called out. AITA?

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Weddings thrive on harmony, but a single wardrobe choice can tip the scales. The bride’s story reveals a clash between personal style and professional expectations. The photographer’s sheer, bra-less outfit, especially in white—a color reserved for the bride—drew unwanted attention, undermining the event’s sanctity. The bride’s review, a measured 3/5 for professionalism, was honest but sparked an outsized reaction, hinting at deeper issues within the photographer’s workplace.

Dr. Elaine Wellman, an etiquette expert, states, “In client-facing roles, attire must reflect the event’s tone and respect its cultural norms” (source: Forbes, 2023). Weddings carry symbolic weight, and the photographer’s choice clashed with expectations of discretion and modesty. Her later outburst—showing up drunk and confrontational—suggests prior tensions with her employer, as the bride’s feedback alone wouldn’t typically lead to termination.

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This incident mirrors broader challenges in the wedding industry, where professionalism can make or break client experiences. A 2022 Eventbrite survey found 68% of event vendors faced complaints about conduct, often linked to attire or behavior. The photographer’s reaction points to a pattern, as Reddit users speculated, rather than a one-off mistake. Clear dress codes could prevent such missteps, ensuring vendors blend into the background.

For clients like the bride, Dr. Wellman advises addressing concerns tactfully, as done here through a survey. Vendors should prioritize clear communication and adherence to event norms. This story underscores the ripple effects of feedback and the need for professionalism in high-stakes settings, leaving us to ponder the balance between honesty and harmony.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit users rallied behind the bride, deeming her review fair and the photographer’s attire a clear misstep. They saw the dramatic lawn confrontation, complete with three bras, as proof of deeper unprofessionalism, with many suspecting prior issues led to her firing.

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The community’s consensus leaned toward the bride’s right to honest feedback, with some chuckling at the absurdity of the photographer’s reaction. Their takes blend humor and logic, painting the incident as a wedding tale for the ages.

kaett − NTA. you gave a fair and honest review. it sounds like this wasn't the only time that employee had shown up for events inappropriately dressed. a photographer should blend into the background and not be noticeable, not be the thing that stands out about your wedding.. she got herself fired. you did nothing wrong.

DeepFudge9235 − NTA and you didn't leave a bad review, 1 data point you marked low the rest you didn't. You were honest and she was unprofessional for a wedding.

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Independent_Luck_136 − NTA. Maybe her boss is TA for firing her over that, unless of course there were other issues. Based on her reaction, is seems like there could have been other issues…

Minimum-Star-8561 − Nta. This obviously has been an ongoing issue with her at work.

RedGobboRebel − Want to start by saying women should be comfortable and allowed to go with or without bras in a professional setting. That said.... NTA Had it just been no bra, then you'd have been an a**hole. But it was also white and apparently transparent lace.. Women, just don't wear white to weddings if they aren't the bride.

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SignificantBother18 − NTA. Anyone who works in the wedding industry should know and understand the expectations for appropriate dress at a wedding, especially since they know what venue they’re going to.

Wearing white is bad to begin with, but wearing something shear to the point that people are noticing and commenting is totally unprofessional. If her supervisor called for more information and then fired her after hearing from you, then this isn’t the first time it’s been an issue.

Tiny-Guarantee2769 − NTA the fact she showed up to your house showcases your rating was well deserved

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happytiara − Sorry I am just laughing that she turned up wearing THREE bras 😂😂😂😂. NTA Op

000-Hotaru_Tomoe − NTA There were probably other issues / episodes between the photographer and the company, beyond her showing up at your wedding with an inappropriate dress. I agree with your review, because you didn't ask an amateur to take photos, you hired a pro, who is supposed to work at ceremonies - so she should know better how to dress appropriately.

yeehaw3339 − NTA - oh my god as far as interesting wedding stories go, this one is up there. Her attire is incredibly unprofessional, especially for a wedding. I would almost guarantee this is an ongoing issue because otherwise, I don't think most managers would be calling for follow-up information on a 3/5 review especially when the rest of the review was positive.

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This bride’s wedding took an unexpected turn, from a wardrobe faux pas to a three-bra showdown, proving even small critiques can spark big drama. Her story invites reflection on professionalism and the power of honest feedback. Have you faced a vendor mishap that stole the show? Share your experiences in the comments and let’s swap tales of wedding-day surprises!

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