AITA for giving my wedding dress to my future daughter-in-law instead of my stepdaughter?

The story revolves around a mom who promised to pass her wedding dress on to her daughter one day, but later decided it should go to her future daughter-in-law, Lucy, after her stepdaughter Molly dismissed the offer rudely. With emotions high over family tradition and legacy, the mom chose to honor her original promise to her son, leaving Molly feeling excluded and sparking controversy over favoritism.

‘AITA for giving my wedding dress to my future daughter-in-law instead of my stepdaughter?’

Navigating blended family relationships can be tricky, especially when deep emotions and past tensions are involved. In this case, our OP (original poster) spent years trying to build a connection with her stepdaughter, Molly, only to be met with rejection. Offering her the wedding dress was a symbolic olive branch, but Molly dismissed it outright—only to later demand it when she saw it given to someone else.

Dr. Joshua Coleman, a psychologist specializing in family estrangement, states that “stepfamily relationships often involve a history of unacknowledged hurt, leading to misinterpretations of actions.” This situation exemplifies that challenge. Molly might not have initially realized the sentimental weight of the dress, or perhaps she didn’t want it until it became a symbol of something she felt excluded from.

However, it’s also important to consider the practicality of OP’s choice. The dress fit Lucy perfectly and she loved it from the start. OP had every reason to believe that Molly would never want it, based on her earlier reaction. Does the original rejection nullify later regret? The broader issue here extends beyond a single dress—it’s about fairness versus history.

Should OP have kept the dress available just in case Molly changed her mind? Or was she right to gift it to someone who showed appreciation for it immediately? Family expert Dr. Stephanie Sarkis, author of Healing from Family Rifts, suggests that fairness doesn’t always mean equality.

“Sometimes treating people fairly means taking into account their behavior, history, and relationships, rather than distributing things evenly across the board.” In this case, OP made a logical, emotionally sound decision based on past interactions.

So, what’s the takeaway? Relationships are built on mutual effort. OP extended kindness to Molly for years, only to be met with coldness. When someone (Lucy) reciprocated that kindness, it was natural for OP to want to pass something meaningful on to her instead.

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

Across the board, many Redditors agree that the mom’s decision was fair. One perspective is that Molly’s rejection long ago forfeited her claim, and her current request seems more like a reaction to being left out than a genuine desire for the heirloom. Others stress that family heirlooms are meant for those who truly appreciate their sentimental value.

Some community members even argue that honoring a long-standing promise to the son’s future wife reinforces the integrity of family traditions, rather than reflecting favoritism. Overall, the consensus is that the decision isn’t about choosing one over the other—it’s about passing the dress on to someone who values its legacy.

At the end of the day, family heirlooms like a wedding dress are meant to symbolize love, tradition, and the bonds that tie us together. When promises are made, they should be honored by those who truly appreciate the value of the sentiment behind them. While it’s natural for emotions to run high in blended families, it’s also important to recognize that rejection of an offer,

especially one as personal as a wedding dress, can have lasting repercussions. So, what do you think? Is it fair to pass the dress on when the intended recipient showed a lack of respect, or should family ties always override past disagreements? What would you do in this situation? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below!