AITA for giving my students crabs?

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Picture a lively classroom in a lower-income school, buzzing with kids’ excitement as a dedicated teacher unveils hermit crabs for a biology unit—claws and all! For weeks, students feed, name, and learn about these quirky critters, a hands-on adventure alongside the trusty class turtle. This 28-year-old educator, passionate about bringing animals to kids without pets, caps the lesson by offering crabs to responsible students, with parental sign-off and admin’s nod.

But when one crab meets an untimely end, a grieving girl and an angry mom turn the tide, blaming the teacher for heartbreak. Was this a lesson in life gone wrong, or a well-meaning plan stung by bad luck? Let’s scuttle into this classroom conundrum!

‘AITA for giving my students crabs?’

Ok, look. I know the title is bad and clickbaity but I need some outside perspective. I’m a little to close and burned out to trust myself on this one. Teacher life. Iykyk. I (28f) teach at a lower income school here in the states.

In the 6ish years I’ve been teaching, I’ve always had animals in the classroom. I think it’s really important, especially for students who can’t have pets. This year for the animal biology lesson, in addition to having our pet turtle, I decided to invest in hermit crabs.

Prior to the month long unit, I had the kids do reports on animals and used hermit crabs as an example. Then, as the unit was introduced, I revealed the crabs. The kids were sooo excited!. They took turns taking care of them, learned all about them, named them, etc.

After the unit finished, I decided I’d pick three students to take the crabs home. They had to fill out a form, get permission from guardians, and the grown ups had to come to me to get the crabs (all of this cleared with admin of course).

Everything was fine and I chose my more responsible students, spoke with guardians, etc. A week later, one of the students told me something sad happened… her crab died. I sent her to the guidance counselor to walk her through her grief and reached out to her mom to see how I could support her.

Well, wouldn’t you know it? According to mom, I’m a total AH for giving her daughter the pet to begin with. She’s been crying non stop and is devastated beyond belief. It wasn’t my place to give her daughter a pet and I crossed so many lines.

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She then complained to admin about me and I had to have a meeting with the principal who told me it was a bad idea. Crabs are fragile and in knowingly inflicted grief on a child and hurt an animal in doing so.. I just wanted to make the unit fun and teach responsibility as well as social emotional skills. AITA?

This classroom caper pinches with good intentions and tough outcomes. The teacher, aiming to spark joy and responsibility, cleared every hurdle—permission slips, admin approval, careful student picks—yet a crab’s death flipped the script. The mom’s outrage and principal’s rebuke sting, but grief’s a real part of pet care, and the plan seemed solid.

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Dr. Gail Saltz, a psychologist, notes, “Experiencing loss, even of a pet, builds resilience in kids—sheltering them can stunt emotional growth” (source: Dr. Gail Saltz). The teacher’s follow-up—counseling, parent outreach—was spot-on, though hermit crabs are tricky, delicate creatures. Mom’s consent shifts some duty her way.

Pet ownership teaches big lessons; 70% of kids face pet loss, per the ASPCA, shaping empathy and coping (source: ASPCA). Hermit crabs, advanced for novices, may have upped the risk. Next time, try hardier pets like fish; explain fragility upfront.

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Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Here’s the Reddit tide’s snappy takes—witty, wild, and clawing back! From laughs at the title to cheers for your heart, these folks don’t hold back. Scuttle in for the scoop!

CrimsonKnight_004 − NTA - It was a sad experience. But that’s apart of life, and learning to deal with that grief is important for children to learn. You went through all of the appropriate steps in getting parental permission and clearing it with the administration. You even set in motion a great plan for her to work through her grief.

It’s not a bad thing that she is crying, she’s working through some hard emotions. But just because they’re hard, that doesn’t mean they’re bad. Crabs *are* fragile creatures. But so is any animal, so are humans. *Life* is fragile. And we’d do a severe disservice to children if we sheltered them from life, which death is apart of.

Far_Anteater_256 − NTA. The parents/guardians had to sign official permission slips, so it becomes *their* responsibility for knowingly causing a child grief, not yours. They need to learn basic self-accountability. NGL, when I read the title I was like '... you WHAT?!' but it's not that kind of crabs at all. Good 😂

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jr3611 − NTA You had permission forms and parents agreed and came in for the animal. You didn't give the crabs away, you made them available for adoption. That parent is missing a huge opportunity to emotionally invest in their child. Sounds like those kids are lucky to have you

burin077 − NTA. (Holy moly, when you first posted this I thought it was something else entirely!) You cleared everything and got the OK's from the parents/guardians, made sure you picked the most responsible students, and even cleared all of it with the admins.

You covered all your bases and the kids were excited, it just happened to be a poor circumstance that the crab died. I don't think you're in the wrong at all. It's a shame the kid got hit with grief of losing a pet, but that's partially what comes with owning a pet, regardless if it was a crab or not.

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CalligrapherActive11 − NTA. Thank you for being interesting and caring enough to do something like this for your students. But I’m not gonna lie, you almost gave me a stoke with the title.

exhauta − ESH I think the mom and the principal are the biggest AH. If the parent signed a permission slip that is on them and your principal should be backing you up. Pets die that is a fact of life. Now where you are TA. There are a LOT of animals in the pet trade, especially those targeted at kids, which are not great pets. Hermet crabs are considered extremely advanced.

In fact some people don't think they can thrive in captivity at all. It doesn't matter how many information packets you gave these people. By choosing a hermit crab instead of a more beginner friendly pet you were setting them up to fail.

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Could they be successful? Sure but that doesn't make it okay. As a teacher you should be setting them up for success. It's also morally worse because failure is the death or suffering of a living creature.

an0nym0uswr1ter − NTA. She shouldn't have agreed to take a pet. I also must say the title saying you gave your students crabs comes across as wrong on so many levels and so funny.

otomekaidii − NTA for rehoming the crabs with your students with parental consent. But like…the whole “buy an animal for the classroom and then give them away when the lesson is over” thing rubs me the wrong way. Even if they are “just” crabs.. What was your plan if none of the students showed interest or none of the parents approved the crabs?

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SimplyMichi − NTA… Her mom filled out a form and gave her child permission to bring the crab home. Why is it your fault the crab died on HER (the mothers) watch? It’s not! I’m sorry that happened to you, you didn’t deserve to be punished over a parents lack of responsibility

Reddit’s split—some cheer your gutsy lesson, others side-eye crab choice or intent. Mom and admin catch heat, but was this a win or a flub?

This crabby classroom tale skitters from joy to jabs, with a teacher’s creative lesson crashing when a pet perishes. Armed with permission and passion, she aimed to teach life skills, only to face a mom’s wrath and admin’s frown. Grief’s tough, but part of the journey—did she overreach, or was this a noble shot derailed by chance? What would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation? Toss your ideas, stories, or fixes into the tank—let’s get this convo crawling!

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