AITA for giving my concert ticket to another girl after my friend said she only wanted to go with me as “friends”?

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Picture a young man, heart racing with the thrill of winning two coveted concert tickets to see a chart-topping singer. For this 24-year-old, it’s not just about the music—it’s a chance to spark romance with a friend he’s been crushing on. But when she gently nudges the invitation toward “just friends” territory, his hopes dim, and a new plan takes shape. What unfolds is a tale of hurt feelings, bold choices, and a sister’s sharp critique, leaving us to wonder: is he wrong for chasing a date over loyalty?

The stage is set in a vibrant city, where neon lights and the buzz of anticipation for the concert mingle with personal dilemmas. This Reddit user’s decision to swap his friend for a coworker who’s eager for a romantic evening stirs a debate about intentions, expectations, and the delicate dance of modern dating. Readers can’t help but feel the sting of rejection alongside him, while questioning if his pivot was fair or a fumble in friendship.

‘AITA for giving my concert ticket to another girl after my friend said she only wanted to go with me as “friends”?’

I am 24M and I have a friend who is 21, she is really nice and we've known each other for a year. She is my sister's acquaintance and we met at my sister's birthday party. I have a crush on her although she isn't exactly my type. Lately I feel like I've been getting vibes that she likes me back.

Last week I won a raffle and have 2 tickets to see a famous singer perform next month in a nearby city. She also happens to like this singer so I asked her if she wanted to go with me as a date. I said I can book us a hotel room and we can spend the night together.

She said she'd love to go, but only as friends. She says she's alright with us splitting a hotel room as long as it has two beds. She told me she doesn't feel ready to date anyone at the moment, and she doesn't do flings either, so unfortunately we can only be platonic friends.

I said I'll think about it. I was quite hurt because honestly I don't have much experience with r**ection, and I was annoyed that she turned me down. Today, i asked my female coworker to go with me to the concert as a date. She immediately said yes and seemed quite excited about it although she admitted that she never listened to any of their songs.

Still, I'm taking her out for drinks on Friday. But just now, the friend who I asked originally asked if we were still on for the concert. I told her honestly that I already asked another woman, and she seemed disappointed but dropped the subject.

When I told my sister about what happened, she said I'm being really douchy. She says her friend is a huge fan of the singer and I should take her instead of my coworker who doesn't even like the band but only wants to go because she likes me.

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I said she can't understand because she's not a dude. Because let's me honest, if I had the choice between going out with a girl who only wants to be my 'friend' versus a girl who is super into me and wants to take things to the next level, then obviously I'm taking the second one. AITA for just being honest about what I want?

**EDIT**: Because a lot of the hang up is over the hotel room thing: YES I would have been fine if the first girl agreed to go with me as a date, but wanted separate hotel beds/rooms. Nowhere do I even say that we have to share a bed...

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But the part where she says she’s not ready to date anyone essentially means she is not interested in me. She likely said she’ll go with me as friends just to be nice and not hurt my feelings. So why would I make the experience awkward for the both of us when I could bring along someone who actually is interested in dating me? **EDIT OVER**

This Reddit saga, where a concert ticket becomes a battleground for romance versus friendship, highlights the tricky balance of expectations in relationships. The original poster (OP) offered a date with clear romantic intentions, only to face a polite but firm boundary. His swift shift to another woman reveals a deeper issue: mismatched intentions and the emotional weight of rejection.

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Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, notes, “Clear communication of needs and boundaries is essential for healthy relationships”. Here, the OP’s upfront desire for a date clashed with his friend’s preference for platonic fun. Her rejection, though gentle, likely stung because it challenged his self-image, especially since he admits to limited experience with rejection. Meanwhile, her disappointment upon learning he invited someone else suggests she valued the shared concert experience, fan or not.

This situation reflects a broader social issue: the pressure to define interactions as romantic or platonic early on. A 2021 study by the Pew Research Center found that 60% of young adults struggle with communicating romantic intentions clearly. The OP’s assumption that a “date” implied intimacy, and his friend’s counter of friendship, shows how quickly wires get crossed without open dialogue.

For solutions, Dr. Gottman’s advice points to honest communication. The OP could have clarified if his friend’s “friends only” stance was negotiable or discussed separate rooms to ease her concerns. Moving forward, he might benefit from reflecting on whether his pursuit of romance overshadowed a meaningful friendship. A simple check-in with his friend could mend any hurt feelings and keep the connection alive.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Reddit’s hot takes on this drama are as spicy as a front-row concert mosh pit. Here’s what the community had to say:

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smashells32 − YTA. You don't rescind an invitation because you won't get laid at the end. 'Only guys understand' is an example of toxic masculinity. Don't be surprised if you lose a friend over this.. Edit- thank you for the silver! P.S. since some keep making mocking comments about toxic masculinity, I'll break it down.

'Only guys understand' implies that guys would obviously take the choice that gets them laid. He doesn't even really like the other girl, he just knows he stands a good chance at some action. That's a really gross way to view women. I hope the other girl does end your friendship, because she deserves better friends, that don't sexualize her.

Edit 2. Holy crap, my inbox. Stop it. Thank you for all of the awards. To the 350 ppl in my inbox that called me a feminazi, you may think I'm full of crap, or your feelings are hurt, but 8k+ people show you're the minority and probably part of the problem.

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My_Dramatic_Persona − YTA, but because of the way you initially asked out your friend. I'm not saying you can't ask her out on a date, but including hotel reservations for a single room in a first date is YTA material for me. You kind of turned these concert tickets to a band she loves into 'f**k me and you can live your dream.'

As far as the secondary situation, she declined your offer and asked if you could go as friends. I think you should have given her a clear yes/no to that before moving on, but I don't think that would make you an a**hole in and of itself. As for what your sister was saying, I disagree.

They are your tickets. It would be nice if you to use them to help your friend see the band she loves, but it's not a duty. Going to the concert with someone who wants to be there because she likes you is a valid decision. Also the fact that she turned you down is a reason to not go with her.

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That might make the concert very awkward for both of you and ruin the experience. You are allowed to be hurt by her r**ection of you and let it affect your friendship (but not allowed to retaliate against her for it or otherwise be an a**hole to her because of it).

Last, separate from the judgement about the specific situation, the way you write about this makes me think you are an a**hole. It doesn't sound like you care much about either woman you asked out except as people who might have s** with you. I don't know you.

Maybe this is just an artifact of you trying to put the situation down bluntly. I'm also not saying you can't have a relationship just about s** - I just think using concert tickets as a lever to achieve that is a pretty s**tty thing to do. You can judge for yourself whether this paragraph is on target or not.

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IAmAranoth − NTA, people on this sub are really stupid. Don’t think about this as a concert, think about it as a date. Imagine if he had booked a reservation at a nice restaurant. He asks girl 1 out, she says no, but still wants to go to dinner.

He asks girl 2, she says yes and that’s that. Sure he could just ditch the date and try to make another friend, or he could just not. LITERALLY NO ONE on this sub would freak if u had asked a girl out, and she had said no, but still wanted to go to dinner.

The important thing to remember here is that he specifically asked FOR A DATE, not just if girl 1 wanted to go to the concert. He is INTENTIONALLY seeking out a date. If girl 1 is allowed to say no to a date proposition, he is allowed to say no to taking her out anyway as a friend. Ya’ll who are saying he is TA is just f**king stupid.

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Yenny1104 − I’m gonna say NTA because you made it clear you wanted a date. And no one is owed a concert ticket. Edit: As a woman if I invited a man to something as a DATE (aka romantic) and he said he only wanted to be friends I would definitely take a guy who was romantically interested in me. Because I said DATE not friends hanging out. It’s not like the ticket was hers in the first place, nothing was taken from this girl.

WhiskyBrisky − NTA. Can people in this sub not read? He said he asked her 'FOR A DATE', if anything she is the ass for saying that she wanted to go but on different terms than he laid out. If she was asked on a date and refused then she has declined the offer. It ain't hard.

clanzi41 − For some reason when I read the title I was thinking OP gave his own ticket to another girl to go with the friend. Boy was I surprised when I read on. I think this is a combo. OP is not obligated to take the friend but just the way he talks about women kinda irks me. NAH in this situation but thinking maybe is TA in life sometimes.

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WhiteAsshole420 − NAH. It is alright to want to use your concert cards for a date oppertunity. She didn't want to. You found someone else who wants to. Thats a totally fine approach and you still can be friends with her.

Shobosy − YTA. Apparently your definition of a date means having s**. If you had JUST asked her to go as a date without the whole, 'we can spend the night together,' crap, I would be going with NTA. It's no longer you asking her on a date at that point, it's you asking her to come have s** with you.

I refuse to believe that you're so dense that you don't know what telling someone to 'spend the night together' means.. ​All these NTA people are saying the same thing. 'He explicitly asked her to go as a date.' That's not the problem. The problem is that he is attaching s** to the date. Who the hell tells someone that they want s** for their first date? Hell, she probably would have been willing to go as his date if he didn't attach s** to it.

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EDIT: smh, people seem to not understand that you can talking about getting a hotel room without wording it, 'spend the night together.' When you word it this way, it literally implies s**. What is wrong with you people? The way you word things matter.

YourewrongIMR − YTA in the sense that you come off as rather scummy in regards to how you speak about the girl you had a crush on. You took it personally that she didn’t want to date you as well making the comments about how you aren’t used to r**ection.. You can do what you want with concert tickets as you they are yours.

Alybank − YTA First off saying it MUST be a date, with a shared bed at the end of the night is pervy af. I wouldn’t be surprised if her side of the story is “I liked this guy, but didn’t want there to be pressure of sleeping together at the end of the night, so I said let’s go as friends.

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So instead he found some girl who would go off and sleep with him for a concert ticket” they are your tickets, and you can do with them as you want, but being like “if it isn’t a date we share a bed with, then no” is a huge a**hole move.

These opinions range from calling the OP out for prioritizing romance to defending his right to choose his concert companion. But do these fiery takes hold up in the real world, or are they just Reddit’s echo chamber at play?

This tale of concert tickets and tangled hearts leaves us pondering the balance between chasing sparks and honoring friendships. The OP’s choice to prioritize a romantic prospect over a platonic pal stirred up strong feelings—on Reddit and beyond. What would you do if a friend turned down your date but still wanted the experience? Share your thoughts and experiences below—let’s keep the conversation rocking!

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