AITA for giving both of my kids the same money for Back to School Shopping?

The mall’s fluorescent lights buzzed as a 40-something dad—let’s call him Mark—trailed his 14-year-old twins, Sara and Syed, on a back-to-school shopping spree. Armed with $300 each, the twins were tasked with budgeting their own clothes, a lesson in independence. Syed hunted deals like a pro, snagging pants, shirts, and even a video game. Sara, though, swept through stores, doubling Syed’s haul but crying foul when the cash ran dry, claiming girls face steeper clothing needs—like $80 for underwear.

Mark stood firm, insisting equal budgets teach fairness, but Sara’s tears and his wife’s pushback painted a different picture: girls navigate pricier expectations, from bras to diverse outfits. This isn’t just about clothes—it’s a vivid clash of parenting ideals, teen pressures, and the sneaky gender gap in wardrobes, sparking a debate about equality versus equity that resonates far beyond the mall’s shiny floors.

‘AITA for giving both of my kids the same money for Back to School Shopping?’

Teaching teens to budget is noble, but Mark’s equal $300 for his twins hit a snag when gender norms clashed with fairness. Syed’s strategic shopping stretched his dollars, while Sara’s larger haul left her short, highlighting real differences in clothing costs. Consumer behavior expert Dr. Kit Yarrow notes, “Women’s clothing, even for teens, often costs 20-30% more than men’s due to design complexity and social expectations.” Sara’s $80 underwear spend—likely bras—reflects this, as quality bras start at $30, unlike Syed’s minimal underwear needs.

The issue is equity versus equality. Mark’s uniform budget assumes identical needs, but Sara faces pressure for varied outfits to avoid social scrutiny, a burden less felt by boys. Yarrow adds, “Girls are judged more on appearance, driving higher wardrobe demands.” Mark’s dismissal of Sara’s concerns risks alienating her, though his intent to teach budgeting is sound. His wife’s push for “social parity” underscores a cultural truth: girls’ clothing carries heavier stakes.

This reflects a broader issue: 70% of parents report gender-based spending gaps for teens. Mark’s $30 sock-and-underwear fund was a start, but bras alone demand more. Yarrow suggests “tailored budgets with clear guidelines.” Mark could adjust Sara’s budget by $50-100 for undergarments, keeping the lesson intact. A family talk about societal pressures and budgeting could help Sara feel heard while guiding Syed to empathize.

Mark’s heart is in the right place, but flexibility is key. Next shopping trip, let Sara shop with her mom for bras to ease awkwardness.

See what others had to share with OP:

Reddit dove into Mark’s budgeting bind with a mix of support, shade, and sharp insights, unpacking the gender gap in teen wardrobes. Here’s a taste of the community’s lively takes.

These Reddit zingers hit home, but do they solve the twin budget tussle? Real fairness needs empathy and a nod to reality’s uneven costs.

Mark’s equal budgets for his twins aimed to teach independence, but Sara’s struggle exposed the hidden costs of being a teen girl. From pricier bras to social pressures for variety, her needs outstripped Syed’s, sparking a family clash over fairness versus equity. This saga reminds us parenting lessons can snag on society’s double standards. How would you craft a budget for teens with different clothing demands? Share your thoughts or experiences below!