AITA for giving away my brother’s pet hamster?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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In a cozy suburban home, a tiny hamster’s fate sparked a family feud that could rival a soap opera. A 15-year-old, already juggling school and teenage woes, found themselves playing zookeeper to their younger brother’s neglected pet. The hamster, once a source of joy, became a smelly burden in a messy cage, with the 11-year-old owner more interested in video games than pet care. Frustrated and cornered, the teen made a bold move that left jaws dropping.

What started as a kind gesture to a friend mourning a lost pet spiraled into a clash of family loyalty and personal boundaries. The parents’ wrath and the brother’s meltdown raised a thorny question: when does doing the right thing for a furry friend cross the line? Readers can’t help but wonder who’s really at fault in this hamster handoff drama.

‘AITA for giving away my brother’s pet hamster?’

My(15) brother(11) had just recently bought a hamster. He’d been begging my parents for one for ages, and they finally caved in a few months ago. In the beginning everything was fine. I wasn’t a fan of the hamster, but my brother took pretty good care of it.

After a few weeks, my brother became uninterested in the hamster and stopped taking care of it. The cage got really messy and there were some days where the hamster didn’t get fed. After telling my parents about this, they told me that I should help out.

I tried telling them that I never wanted the hamster (I was an advocate against it) but they forced me to help out and clean the cage. A little while after, my brother asked if he could move the hamsters cage into my room. I said no but he begged me since he didn’t like the smell.

I told my parents and they forced me to do it because “I do most of the cleaning and feeding anyway”. Fast forward to a few days ago and my friend from school told me that his pet hamster just died. He seemed devastated (he’d had the hamster for a few years) and out of impulse I offered to give him my brothers.

That really cheered him up and he got really serious about the plan, asking me if I could bring it to school or if he should pick it up. Over the weekend I met up with him and gave him the hamster. Yesterday my brother realized the hamster was gone. He started freaking out and got super mad.

My parents got mad too and grounded me for giving away my brothers pet. I tried to explain the situation and tell them that I basically own the hamster anyway, but they didn’t care. They’re making me take back the hamster from my friend tomorrow. I haven’t told him yet so I’m assuming he’s going to be really sad.. So, AITA for giving away my brothers pet hamster?

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This hamster saga is a classic case of responsibility being shuffled like a hot potato. The 15-year-old OP was thrust into a caretaker role they never signed up for, highlighting a common family dynamic where older siblings bear the brunt of younger ones’ lapses. The parents’ insistence on forcing the OP to care for the hamster, even moving it into their room, shows a misstep in teaching accountability.

Dr. John Duffy, a clinical psychologist and author, notes in a Psychology Today article, “Parents often inadvertently burden older siblings with responsibilities meant for younger ones, which can breed resentment” (psychologytoday.com). Here, the parents failed to hold the 11-year-old accountable, leaving the OP to pick up the slack. This dynamic explains the OP’s frustration and impulsive decision to rehome the hamster, prioritizing its well-being over family harmony.

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This situation reflects broader issues of pet ownership responsibility. According to the ASPCA, nearly 6.3 million pets enter U.S. shelters annually, often due to owners underestimating care demands (aspca.org). The brother’s neglect mirrors this trend, while the OP’s action, though drastic, ensured the hamster’s care.

Advice: The OP should calmly explain to their parents that the hamster’s welfare was their priority, suggesting the pet stay with the friend who can provide consistent care. If the hamster returns, the family should establish a clear care plan, with the 11-year-old taking primary responsibility under parental supervision to teach accountability.

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Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit users didn’t hold back, serving up spicy takes with a side of humor. Here’s what the community had to say about this furry fiasco:

gover2087 − NTA- He abandoned the hamster when he stopped caring for it. You gave it to somebody who would love to take care of it.

KMWoods77 − Tell your parents that if the hamster comes back, it goes thin THEIR room and THEY can take care of it, because you are done cleaning up after their mistakes - like allowing an 11 year old to have a pet he doesn't take care of.

TheDarkWasThereFirst − NTA. Try to talk with your parents again. They're being completely unreasonable about this and essentially forcing you to have a pet against your will. It's not in any meaningful sense your brother's hamster, if you are its sole caretaker and it is kept in your room.

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imunrealimunreal − NTA the hamster needs a home where it can be properly be taken care of less it dies under your brother's 'care'.

[Reddit User] − NTA. Your parents failed here. They cared more about making your brother happy than caring for an innocent, helpless animal. If they want a hamster, they can buy a new one and keep it in their bedroom. The only adult in this situation is yourself.

YTDirtyCrossYT − NTA. The hamster shouldn't be seen by your brother+parents as an 'entertainment thing' (if that makes sense lol). It is a living sentient animal. So, it's better to give him away to someone who cares about the little fluffy guy.

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Nic0kami − NTA. You rehomed a pet you were forced to take care of but had no interest in to someone who would love and appreciate the animal. Frankly that’s the responsible adult thing to do. Your parents are absolutely in the wrong here. You were clear from the start you had no interest and didn’t want the animal or the responsibility of looking after it.

They should have handled this themselves when your brother started complaining about the smell/ responsibility of caring for a pet he wanted. It could have been a wonderful teaching moment for the child, about responsibility and thinking carefully about if you really actually want something and all the good and bad that comes with it.

Instead they put it off on you so they wouldn’t have to actually teach their child. Don’t take the animal back, and try your best to remain calm and rational when discussing things with your parents. Hopefully they see reason, but they certainly won’t if you get angry or belligerent with them.

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justSomePesant − NTA and I wouldn't go get it back either--I'd just reimburse them the cost (to simply shut them up; not saying you owe them but they clearly want their pound of flesh). If you really have to take the hamster back, put him in a shared area of the house. Refuse your room.. Also, check out r/raisedbynarcissists

RollingKatamari − NTA-it was your hamster and I would stick to my guns and refuse to ask for the hamster back.

Comfortable-Ad-4274 − NTA. as far as im concerned, it became yours once it started living in your room. Plus you were taking care for it even tho you didnt sign up to.

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These Redditors clearly have strong feelings, but do their verdicts hold up in the real world, or are they just cheering from the sidelines?

This hamster hullabaloo leaves us pondering where responsibility truly lies in a family. The OP’s bold move to rehome a neglected pet sparked a firestorm, but was it the right call? It’s a tale of good intentions tangled in family expectations. What would you do if you were stuck caring for a pet you didn’t want? Share your thoughts and experiences—have you ever faced a similar family dilemma?

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