AITA for giving a realistic guess for someone’s weight when forced to do so?

What started as a chill football watch party turned awkward when a friend cornered OP into guessing her weight. Despite OP’s protests, the friend insisted on an honest answer—only to be upset when she got one. Now, OP’s left wondering if she’s in the wrong for not sugarcoating the truth.

This isn’t just about a number on a scale. It’s about navigating tricky social moments and respecting boundaries. Was OP out of line for being honest, or did her friend set herself up for disappointment? Let’s dive into the story, hear from experts, and see what the online community thinks.

AITA for giving a realistic guess for someone’s weight when forced to do so?

The day kicked off with good vibes, as OP and her fiancé hosted friends for football, wings, and beers:

Last Sunday my fiancé and I had some friends over to watch football with us. We had some beer, made wings and it was overall a good time. These friends...

OP’s own fitness journey made her a go-to for workout talk, though she tried to keep it low-key:

I started out overweight. At 5’7” I was 190 at my highest point. Through dieting and exercising I made my way down to 135 with a good amount of muscle...

The couple likes to talk to me about fitness related things which I’m fine with to an extent. But I tend to avoid it as much as possible because I’ve...

Things took a turn when the friend asked a question OP dreaded:

After we have a conversation about how they went to the gym this morning, some supplements they started taking, etc, the girlfriend asks me what I think she looks like...

I hate these questions because they make me uncomfortable, and either you’re a liar for guessing wrong on purpose or an a**hole for guessing what you actually think.

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OP tried to sidestep, but the friend kept pushing:

I tell her I’m uncomfortable with this and would rather not answer that type of question. She kept pushing “no seriously! I won’t be offended with whatever you tell me.

I want to know what you seriously think” and I repeated “I hate these questions and they make me uncomfortable. I really don’t want to answer that because I’ve been...

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Finally, OP caved and gave an honest guess based on her friend’s height:

I finally asked her how tall she is. She answered 5’10”. So I said “okay. With your height in consideration I would guess between 185 and 190.” Her face instantly...

I’m 174.” So I said “that’s great! You guys are making awesome progress from what I can see.” And I got away from the topic as quickly as I could.

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The fallout came later, via a text from the friend’s boyfriend to OP’s fiancé:

Later when they left, her boyfriend texted my fiancé telling him that I had hurt his girlfriends feelings, and that she’s upset that I think she looks bigger than she...

To me, 174 compared to 185-190 isn’t that big of a difference. When I first started losing weight, no one noticed my first 10 lbs lost so it didn’t seem...

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When OP talked it over with her fiancé, she held firm:

My fiancé told me what he said and I told him “she shouldn’t have asked me if she didn’t want an answer. She kept pushing me and I kept telling...

He told me I should have guessed considerably lower from what I thought her real weight was, but I don’t agree with that because she kept telling me she wanted...

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This story captures a classic social tightrope: being pushed to answer a loaded question. OP did her best to avoid guessing her friend’s weight, but relentless pressure led to an honest answer—and hurt feelings. So, is OP responsible for her friend’s reaction, or did her friend walk into this herself?

Communication expert Deborah Tannen points out that questions about appearance often hide a desire for affirmation, not raw honesty (*You Just Don’t Understand*, 1990). The friend might’ve been fishing for a lower number to feel good about her fitness journey, not expecting a realistic guess. Her insistence on “the truth” clashed with her emotional reaction, showing a gap between what she said and what she wanted.

In social settings, weight questions are a minefield. OP set a clear boundary by refusing to answer, but her friend’s persistence crossed it. That said, the friend’s hurt makes sense—weight is a sensitive topic, especially for someone working hard to change. The boyfriend’s choice to text OP’s fiancé, though, added unnecessary drama, bypassing a chance for direct communication.

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OP’s best move going forward is to hold her ground on boundaries. If this happens again, she could pivot with something like, “I’m terrible at guessing weights, but you’re rocking your progress!” A soft apology, like “I didn’t mean to upset you; I was just trying to answer honestly,” could smooth things over without taking full blame. Focusing on her friends’ efforts rather than specifics like weight will keep things friendly and drama-free.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

The online community jumped in with strong opinions, mostly siding with OP but offering some nuanced takes:

Many backed OP, saying she wasn’t wrong for caving under pressure:

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xaygoat − NTA. It’s so annoying when people beg for your opinion just to get offended by it. Also, guessing weight is really difficult!

[Reddit User] − NTA. Don’t want someone’s honest opinion, don’t ask for it. This is completely on her.

Some called out the friend for setting OP up for failure:

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Tahlbar − NTA, it seems like she was fishing for a compliment vailed under a serious question. Don't ask for an honest answer if you can't handle the truth.

TheLightKyanite − NTA. People like this are f**king annoying. Please, do NOT ask someone a question if you’re not going to like the potential answer.

A few saw both sides, noting the friend’s right to feel hurt but faulting her approach:

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Elegant-Rectum − I base what I say off of what you put in the story. If there is anything extra that you left out that causes a misinterpretation, that is...

But also, she is not asking you to take responsibility for her hurt feelings. She did not contact your fiance. Her boyfriend did. She was dealing with her own feelings...

She is allowed to be privately hurt that she didn't get the answer she wanted .This is normal human behaviour. And she isn't asking you for an apology or anything.

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1nurseratshit − NTA! My friends learn very quickly to not ask me a question is they don’t want honesty. I tell the truth, and the ones that don’t want to...

If she is smart she will not ask your opinion unless she wants the truth. Also who gives a crap about numbers. It doesn’t make the person look any different.

Zoey1914 − NTA, she shouldn't have pushed you to guess if she didn't want an honest answer. 10lbs doesn't make much of a difference on a tall woman. I'm a...

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Others praised OP’s honesty and urged the friend to focus on her progress:

Authentical1 − NTA. She pushed and pushed for the answer, and then got upset with the answer. I mean, your answer afterwards was honestly the best thing to say. She...

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She shouldn’t take others opinions of her weight to heart, she should be proud of her accomplishments and not focus so much on what others say.

RedBullMetal − NTA. .... She's the a**hole. You don't work at a carnival in which you can easily guess someone's weight within 5 pounds. She asked you a question and...

She was pretending to want an honest answer, but really she wanted you to guess a number even lower. If someone asks for an honest answer, they shouldn't be pissed...

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tastystarbits − the only winning move is to not play. if she pushes you to answer you push back to not answer.

This story captures the awkward dance of handling sensitive questions. OP tried to dodge a weight guess, but her friend’s persistence led to an honest answer—and bruised feelings. The friend’s reaction is human, but pushing OP into a corner wasn’t fair. Should OP smooth things over with an apology, or does her friend need to own her role in this mess? How would you navigate a question like this? Drop your thoughts in the comments!

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