AITA for getting upset that boyfriend took food that was meant for our date to his other friends?

Imagine a sun-dappled park, a blanket spread with a lavish picnic of artisanal cheeses and sparkling champagne—a perfect date planned with love. A woman, heart set on romance, poured her wallet and soul into this moment, only to watch it crumble when her boyfriend handed the feast to another friend before their special evening. The sting of disregard cut deeper than a dull knife, leaving her questioning his priorities.

This isn’t just about cheese; it’s a tale of respect, or lack thereof, that hits home for anyone who’s felt sidelined in love. Readers feel her frustration, wondering how a gesture of care could be so carelessly tossed aside. Her story pulls us into a whirlwind of emotions, from hurt to fury, inviting us to ponder loyalty and boundaries in relationships. Can trust survive such a thoughtless act?

‘AITA for getting upset that boyfriend took food that was meant for our date to his other friends?’

My (34F) boyfriend (35M) and I have been having a really rocky time in the relationship. I planned a nice treat for a picnic date that involved champagne and a spread of really nice food— as in, I spent an ungodly amount on cheese and charcuterie for us to enjoy. He said that he would probably give some of it to his friends after because there was a lot there and I agreed so it wouldn’t go to waste.

However, he cut it up and planned on having it with his friends before we had the date. I said it was a mean thing to do and he said I was overreacting. I usually pay for our groceries and this week, he contributed so he could get beers for his friends.

He asked if I would respond the same way about the beer if he didn’t give money and I said, “f**king duh,” because I’m not here to pay for his friends. I wouldn’t be as upset if he shared it after we had our time, but it feels like a d**k move. AITA for getting mad or am I just being too sensitive?

Relationships thrive on mutual respect, but this boyfriend’s move was like serving heartbreak on a platter. Sharing his girlfriend’s carefully curated picnic food with another woman—before their date—screams disregard. She felt devalued, especially since she funded most of their groceries, while he seemed to prioritize his friend, raising red flags about boundaries. His dismissive “you’re overreacting” only deepened the wound, ignoring her valid emotional investment.

This reflects a broader issue: respect in partnerships. A 2024 Psychology Today article notes that 48% of couples cite disrespect as a relationship breaker (source). Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, says, “Dismissing a partner’s feelings creates a trust deficit that’s hard to repair” (source). Here, the boyfriend’s actions and minimization of her hurt align with Gottman’s warning.

Gottman’s advice emphasizes open communication. The woman could calmly express how his actions violated her trust, perhaps with a therapist’s guidance. Setting boundaries, like splitting expenses evenly, could prevent future imbalances. She’s already taken a bold step by asking him to leave.

See what others had to share with OP:

Reddit brought the heat with these takes, served with a side of sass! The community didn’t hold back on calling out the boyfriend’s shady move:

Avaylon - NTA. If there's food left over after the date then sharing it with his friends is NBD, but to do it beforehand seems inconsiderate to say the least. It sounds like he's telling you what his priorities are.

teresajs - NTA. This relationship isn't just on the rocks. Your BF is disrespectful and prioritizes his friends over you.. Stop buying your BF groceries.

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voilaaa - NTA. Seems like something special you were really looking forward to and he ruined the sparkle of it by opening the cheeses and giving them to his guys before you got to enjoy it together. Not to mention he didn’t pay for it. If he doesn’t see this is a problem, I would take the trash out!

ObviouslyAyanna - I’m gonna be that person. NTA, in this situation, obviously, but you’re being an a**hole to yourself by staying with this fuckwad. I felt like there was a larger issue than your bf’s blatant disregard for your feelings, and read your post history.

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Long story short, that man does not give a f**k about you, and you continue to let him s**t on you with extremely minimal to no repercussions. I’m not saying it’s your fault that your relationship is like this or that he is the way he is, but you need to re-evaluate your priorities, because right now it seems like you’re the very last thing on the list of what’s important to you.

[Reddit User] - Nta. This was really inconsiderate on your boyfriends part. He knew what the food was for and it wasn’t for his friends.

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MFpterodactyl3 - A bit of vital info was buried in one of your comments! When you say 'friends' you mean one friend, one female friend to be specific, a female friend in which he's been confiding all of your relationship issues. He stole the date you prepped and paid for and gave it to her. You know what's up, you must know what's up. This dude is not a quality dude. Please dump him and never look back - NTA

Distinctive_Tomorrow - Oh dear, so much NTA! Why do you alone pay for the groceries, do you have a fair split of other expenses? Because tbh he sounds like he's mooching off you big time

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NYCQuilts - NTA. Your bf is rude and inconsiderate.

heatherhobbit - NTA. That was really rude of him. It also shows he prioritizes his friends over you.

SugarGlitterkiss - It wasn't 'friends', but one female friend?? Yikes.. NTA I think that emotionally, the issue is exacerbated by the friend being a girl he talks to about our arguments and issues. I think I’m exceptionally sensitive to this, as when I got the surprise he messaged her and posted on Instagram with ‘what’s she after now?’. He said that they’re just friends and he’s not attracted to her but it really really sucks.

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These Reddit gems are spicy, but do they cut to the core? Some see a dealbreaker; others urge her to ditch the deadweight.

This story is a bitter bite of betrayal, wrapped in a picnic blanket. The woman’s hurt isn’t just about food—it’s about feeling like an afterthought. Her bold move to kick him out shows strength, but the road ahead is murky. Will she heal or keep the door shut? We’ve all felt that sting of disrespect—what would you do in her shoes? Share your thoughts below and let’s dish on this drama!

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