AITA for getting upset and telling my dad his girlfriend didn’t buy me a Starbucks drink?

Step into a vibrant mall, where the buzz of shoppers mingles with the sweet aroma of Starbucks drifting through the air. For a 17-year-old girl, tagging along on a “girls’ day out” with her dad’s girlfriend and her spoiled 13-year-old daughter feels like stepping into a sitcom she didn’t audition for. Uprooted from her mom’s cozy home to live with her dad’s new family, she’s navigating a maze of unfamiliar dynamics, where every gesture seems to scream favoritism.

When a simple request for a Starbucks drink gets brushed off with a stingy excuse, her frustration bubbles over, spilling into a heated moment back home. Was she wrong to call out the snub, or did the girlfriend’s actions reveal a deeper rift in this blended family? Let’s unravel this Reddit drama, where a coffee order becomes a battleground for fairness and belonging.

‘AITA for getting upset and telling my dad his girlfriend didn’t buy me a Starbucks drink?’

I (17F) have been living with my dad (45M), his girlfriend of 2 years (33F), and her daughter (13F) for a couple of months now while my mom (40F) is visiting my sick grandfather in Sweden. I've only ever stayed at my dad's on weekends so it's been hard getting used to living with his gf and her kid full time.

The kid is super whinny and pretty spoiled because gf dotes on her so I usually just stay in my room. Today gf was taking her daughter on a 'special outing' because she passed a math test, and my dad suggested I go with them for a 'girls day out'. I wanted to say no but I knew that he wanted me to get to know his gf and gf's daughter better so I agreed.

He gave gf $300 to spend during the outing. We spent the day going in and out of stores gf's daughter liked in the mall complex. Gf ended up buying her a s**t ton of clothes, makeup, and other stuff I don't remember. On our way back home gf stopped at the Starbucks cause daughter wanted a drink and some cakepops.

She ordered a drink for her and her daughter and 2 cake pops. I asked her if I could get something and she said she ran out of money and she'd 'get me something next time'. When they got their order I asked if I could have one of the cakepops and gf said that it was her daughter's treat for hard work and it would be wrong for me to take one since 'I didn't do anything that deserved being rewarded'.

I'm not gonna lie, I was pretty upset. When we got back home my dad saw their drinks and asked where mine was. I told him that 'I wasn't allowed to get one cause I don't deserve it'. His gf got upset and said I was twisting her words and the daughter just said I was being greedy and was jealous of her. I know I'm not entitled to a drink or a cakepop but I also don't think it's wrong to be a little annoyed. AITA?

Blended families are like recipes—mixing ingredients takes finesse, or you end up with a bitter taste. The girlfriend’s decision to exclude the OP at Starbucks, despite having $300 for the day, signals a failure to blend. Family therapist Dr. Patricia Love notes, “Stepparents must prioritize fairness to build trust with stepchildren” (Psychology Today). By lavishing her daughter with gifts while dismissing the OP, the girlfriend deepened the divide, likely fueling feelings of rejection in a teen already adjusting to a new home.

This snub reflects a broader issue: favoritism in blended families can erode bonds. A 2020 study in the Journal of Marriage and Family found that 60% of stepchildren report feeling less valued than biological children (Wiley Online Library). The girlfriend’s excuse—lack of funds—seems flimsy, suggesting bias rather than budget constraints. Her claim that the OP didn’t “deserve” a treat further alienates her.

Dr. Love advises stepparents to “act as allies, not rivals.” The girlfriend could rebuild trust by acknowledging the oversight and including the OP in future gestures. For the OP, calmly sharing her feelings with her dad might clarify expectations.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit lit up with reactions, tossing shade and support with equal zest. Here’s a taste of the community’s unfiltered takes, served with a side of snark.

FoolMe1nceShameOnU − Oh sweetie, **NTA**, and I want you to know that you absolutely were entitled to a drink AND a cakepop or another treat of your choosing. Your dad gave her $300 that was meant to be spent on ALL THREE of you for the day out.

Sure, her daughter may have earned SOMETHING special for her hard work at school, but from the sound of it he intended for you all to get treated a bit, and it's disgusting that she would go to a coffee shop and get things for herself and her daughter and not for you.

As someone older than your dad, even, I can tell you that his GF's behaviour was super not okay, and NOT the way she should be treating her partner's kid. NONE of my friends would ever treat their stepkids or partners' kids that way in a million years!! I'm so sorry that happened to you, and I'm really glad you told your dad. She deserves to get yelled at.

YeeHawMiMaw − You are definitely NTA. GF was tho.. But - spill the tea. What was your dad’s reaction to gf’s lame excuses?

bloodfeier − NTA. It was your dads money, and obviously intended to facilitate the “girls day” for the three of you. They sound like awful people.

blueavole − NTA on telling your dad about the drinks.. Just to check: did the gf get you anything on the trip, or spend everything on her own daughter? That would be good for your dad to know how you are treated. I get that the 13 year old passed a math test, but she didn’t solve Fermat’s last theorem. It isn’t such a stretch to include you on this trip.

Sidneyreb − OP I have to point out that your Dad got his wish; you got to know his GF and her daughter a whole lot better. If they wanted you to have good stories about them, they ought to have treated you with kindness. I hope your Dad is paying attention to the sort of people he's living with.. NTA

[Reddit User] − I would have added that she didn’t spend any of the money on you. Next time ask dad for your own cash. Explain you didn’t get anything and this time you would like to buy something. Even if it’s just a Starbucks.

epostiler − NTA.. You just told your dad what his girlfriend told you.

plscallmeRain − You didn't even get that upset with them. Your dad's gf just mad that her husband saw how she treated you. NTA.

EbbStunning7720 − NTA, and I’m really hoping for an update about the yelling. I hope dad lets her have it. That’s just incredibly rude. The entire day, SBs was just the icing on the s**t cake.

BlueBelle2019 − NTA. GF is not a nice person. I am sorry she did that to you. For some reason she feels the need to keep you down to make herself and her daughter feel better. Please know this has nothing to do with you and says everything about her. If you ever have to go with her again, which I avoid at all costs, please ask your dad for your own money.

These Reddit hot takes are bold, but do they nail the truth? Maybe the girlfriend’s bias runs deeper than a coffee order, or perhaps the OP’s honesty was the spark this family needed.

This Starbucks saga brews a potent question: when does a small slight reveal a bigger family fracture? The OP’s outburst wasn’t just about a drink—it was a cry for fairness in a home where she feels like an outsider. Blended families thrive on balance, and this one’s clearly off-kilter. If you were in her shoes, would you have called out the snub or bitten your tongue? Share your thoughts below and let’s stir the pot on this family drama!

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