AITA for getting upset about my fiancé’s workout partner being my sister?

What happens when you discover your fiancé has been keeping a secret about your sister? A 24-year-old woman was shocked to learn her fiancé works out weekly with her sister, a fact neither shared despite her living with him. When she expressed discomfort, he called her overreacting, sparking doubt and tension.

This story explores trust, transparency, and boundaries in relationships. The lack of communication raises questions about loyalty and honesty. Is it reasonable to feel uneasy about this hidden arrangement? Readers may debate the balance between personal insecurities and the need for openness in partnerships.

‘AITA for getting upset about my fiancé’s workout partner being my sister?’

The story begins with a casual conversation that reveals a surprising truth.

I (f24) think this is weird, but both my sister (f26) and fiance (m27) are saying it’s not and I want a third party. Basically, my fiancé works out every...

Then, on Friday, we were just chatting while I started on dinner and he got ready to go, and I mentioned that I had a book I wanted my sister...

And my fiancé was like “give it to me, I’ll give it to her.” I was obviously like “what?” and he got kind of uncomfortable. Like he started saying he...

The woman’s discomfort grows as she questions the secrecy.

But I asked him why he said that and he said that it wasn’t a big deal, but my sister is his workout partner. I said I thought that was...

Am I? I don’t think I am. It’s weird. I mean, if I was working out with his brother, he’d think it was weird. I don’t want to be like...

I can see why my sister never told me since I don’t see her much + she literally never tells anyone anything, but my fiancé? I LIVE with him. AITA?

This conflict centers on a woman’s unease after discovering her fiancé secretly works out with her sister. The lack of transparency from both, especially her live-in fiancé, fuels her distrust. His discomfort when questioned and dismissal of her concerns suggest a breach of openness essential for engagement.

ADVERTISEMENT

The arrangement itself isn’t inherently problematic, but the secrecy raises red flags. The fiancé’s failure to mention it, despite daily workouts, implies he knew it might bother her. Her sister’s silence, while possibly due to her private nature, adds to the sense of exclusion. The woman’s reaction reflects a need for trust and communication.

Psychologist Dr. John Gottman notes, “Trust is built through small moments of honesty and responsiveness” (The Science of Trust, 2011). The fiancé’s dismissal risks eroding their bond. The woman’s analogy to working out with his brother highlights her sense of fairness.

They should have an open conversation to clarify intentions and rebuild trust. Setting clear expectations about transparency can prevent future misunderstandings. She might also talk to her sister to understand her perspective and strengthen family ties.

ADVERTISEMENT

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

Reddit users largely supported the woman, focusing on the secrecy as a major issue. Many saw the lack of communication as a red flag, while some speculated about inappropriate motives, though others urged caution in jumping to conclusions.

Users emphasized that the secrecy was inappropriate for an engaged couple.

OnlymyOP − NTA. The fact neither your Sister or Fiancé thought to mention to you they were work out partners is the red flag here , so I see how...

ADVERTISEMENT

Jayseek4 − NTA. You’re engaged and living together. And he kept a secret involving another woman. Then he dismissed your feelings about it. Can’t have it both ways, bud. If...

score1987 − NTA. He showed he is aware that this is potenyially weird when he got uncomfortable about it. That could have been avoided by bringing it up and discussing...

Commenters highlighted the fiancé’s discomfort as evidence of guilt or awareness.

ADVERTISEMENT

Glittering_Meal2573 − NTA Fiance and sister being workout partners isn't necessarily weird, but the fact that neither party mentioned it to you demonstrates a concerning lack of communication.

That, combined with the uncomfortableness that your fiance showed when you brought up the book, makes me think that even if nothing overtly shady is going on, that fiance may...

indicatprincess − NTA And my fiancé was like “give it to me, I’ll give it to her. ” I was obviously like “what? ” and he got kind of uncomfortable....

ADVERTISEMENT

princessofperky − You keep trying to defend your sister. But they both intentionally kept this from you. And your bfs reaction shows he knew he was doing something wrong and...

Some users suggested the secrecy could indicate deeper issues, though not definitive.

SpaceJesusIsHere − Never mentioned it. Tried to hide it after slipping up. Gaslit that it's not s big deal, though hiding it proves they knew it was. Unless this has...

ADVERTISEMENT

Superb_Animal_4326 − You keep making up stupid ass excuses for ur partner in the comments. Dont. He didnt only not mention it to you, he also tried to back out...

Im not saying he is cheating or anything, but its not normal and he knows it and he keeps going. Grow a spine and tell your sister and your bf...

Puzzleheaded_Cook455 − Hey girl. ......you NEED to have another convesation with him. This Is super weird. Honestly, even if the arent fu*king already, there is something he knows about your...

ADVERTISEMENT

Dont turn a blind eye. It hurts, but you are young and deserve someone who doesnt keep secrets from you. And dont get mě started on the gaslighting.

Some urged the woman to observe or confront the situation directly.

Still_Cardiologist33 − I’d go the gym and see........

ADVERTISEMENT

LilSyts − Nta I don’t think them working out together is necessarily weird but like why did they not tell you? ?

This story underscores the importance of transparency in relationships. The woman’s upset is valid, as her fiancé’s secrecy about working out with her sister erodes trust, especially given their shared living situation. His dismissive response further fuels her doubts. Open communication is crucial for partnerships, and withholding such details can signal deeper issues.

Should a partner disclose regular interactions with a sibling? How do you address secrecy without escalating jealousy? Share your thoughts below.

ADVERTISEMENT
Share this post

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *