AITA for getting pissed off at my roommate’s alarm?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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In a cramped university apartment, the shrill blare of a 5:45 AM alarm cuts through the pre-dawn quiet, shattering the peace of a morning person’s cherished routine. For one student, this daily disruption from their roommate Joe—a lifelong friend who sleeps through his own deafening wake-up call—has turned mornings into a battleground. Unable to snooze through the noise, the student rises early, their 20-minute buffer of calm stolen by Joe’s oblivious slumber, sparking a quiet act of revenge that’s as petty as it is satisfying.

Frustration simmers as Joe’s alarms, set hours before his 8:00 AM class, fail to rouse him, leaving the student to tiptoe around their shared space. Choosing to let Joe oversleep and miss class, the student finds a small victory in the chaos. This tale of clashing schedules and unspoken grudges pulls us into the relatable world of roommate woes, where loyalty and irritation collide over a blaring alarm.

‘AITA for getting pissed off at my roommate’s alarm?’

My roommate and I have been good friends for about 15 years--it's why we're roommates. Being that we go to a university, we share a room, and we share an apartment with two other friends. That's really all the background you need; if you'd like more, ask in the comments, please.

My roommate--we'll call him Joe--is not a morning person. At all. I am, on the other hand. Regardless, he sets alarms at 5:45 that are incredibly loud, which is fine with me. The thing is, the guy doesn't wake up to them, no matter how much I call his name. So, I get up because I can't sleep with his alarm going off.

Now, to be fair, my alarm goes off at 6:00, but I give myself a 20-minute buffer to lie in bed and relax before I actually get up. With his alarm, I can't, so I've been getting up at 5:45 each day. Now, I've been getting pretty pissed off at this, so I've stopped trying to wake him up because I know nothing will come of it.

Here's the part that I'm struggling with: Joe has class at 8:00, and he sets his alarms so early _just so he can wake up at 8:00_. I wish I were exaggerating, and a lot of you may think I am, but I hope you guys can believe me. What I've been doing is just not waking him up and putting my headphones in so I'm not distracted by his alarm.

He's been waking up closer to 8:15 and missing his class, which has been my petty revenge to him. Also, for those of you wondering, when I get up, I take care to be quiet. At first it was to be respectful of everyone else's sleep (ironic because my roommate obviously doesn't feel the same), but now it's to ensure that he sleeps in late.. Am I the a**hole?

Update: Thanks for all of the responses! I've talked to my roommate, and we've come up with a solution. As I mentioned, he's pretty hard-headed in his ways, as are his parents, so when I mentioned that he should see a sleep specialist or start tracking his sleep, he refused. We eventually agreed that I would wake him up on his schedule, so that I'd not have to worry about his alarms.

Yes, this will f**k him over by prolonging his dependence, but I'm done with dealing with that s**t. (You're probably going to think I'm an a**hole, but this solution fits both of our lifestyles. If my roommate doesn't have foresight and doesn't wan to improve himself, I've decided I'm not going to be the one to change him.) Thanks again!

This alarm-fueled roommate rift highlights the delicate balance of shared living and personal boundaries. Joe’s loud, ineffective alarms disrupt the student’s sleep, while the student’s choice to let Joe miss class reflects pent-up frustration. Sleep expert Dr. Michael Breus, cited in Sleep Foundation , notes, “Disruptive sleep environments, like loud alarms, can reduce sleep quality, impacting mood and relationships.” Joe’s failure to wake up, paired with his disregard for others’ rest, strains the friendship and apartment harmony.

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The student’s petty revenge—ignoring Joe’s alarms—stems from a valid grievance but risks escalating tension. A 2022 study from the American Psychological Association found that 70% of roommate conflicts arise from unaddressed irritations, like sleep disruptions, often leading to passive-aggressive behavior. The update shows progress, with the student agreeing to wake Joe, but this may enable Joe’s irresponsibility, as Reddit noted.

Dr. Breus suggests practical fixes, like Joe using a vibrating alarm or bed shaker, which targets only him. The student could initiate a calm talk, saying, “Your alarms wake me up, but don’t work for you—can we try a quieter solution?” This respects their friendship while setting boundaries. Exploring sleep tracking, despite Joe’s resistance, could help

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Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

The Reddit crew dove into this alarm drama like it was a dorm room showdown, tossing out support and clever quips with equal flair. From backing the student’s frustration to suggesting sneaky fixes like bed-shaking alarms, the comments are a lively mix of empathy and advice. Here’s the unfiltered scoop from the crowd:

ramblinator − I don't think so, it's not your responsibility to get him up and out for class. He's technically an adult and should be doing that on his own. I also think it is inconsiderate of him to have an alarm so loud that it wakes up his roommates, and then to have it go off every few minutes for over 2 hours!. So, my vote is that you are not the a**hole in this situation.

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SalAtWork − No, you're not an a**hole. But I do recommend having a conversation with your friend about it. And asking him to set his early alarm for 6:20 which is after your morning ritual. Let him know that it's waking you up early, and it's clearly doing nothing for him.

miladyknight − It's not your responsibility to make sure he wakes up, so no, you're not the a**hole.

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threequarterchubb − Its not your job to get him up for school! That's not even revenge you silly dude! He sounds lucky to have such a tolerant friend as you. I suggest you put lucky charms marshmallows in his mouth every morning while hes sleeping.

PMmeyourbestfeature − LPT: If his alarm is on his phone, calling the phone might cut off the alarm (probably depends on the phone) If he wasn't waking up when you were actively trying to wake him, then it's totally justified for you to stop bothering. You don't seem like the a**hole here.

AutoModerator − TL;DR: My roommate sets alarms early and doesn't get up to them, so I make sure he's always late to class. My roommate and I have been good friends for about 15 years--it's why we're roommates. Being that we go to a university, we share a room, and we share an apartment with two other friends.

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That's really all the background you need; if you'd like more, ask in the comments, please. My roommate--we'll call him Joe--is not a morning person. At all. I am, on the other hand. Regardless, he sets alarms at 5:45 that are incredibly loud, which is fine with me.

The thing is, the guy doesn't wake up to them, no matter how much I call his name. So, I get up because I can't sleep with his alarm going off. Now, to be fair, my alarm goes off at 6:00, but I give myself a 20-minute buffer to lie in bed and relax before I actually get up. With his alarm, I can't, so I've been getting up at 5:45 each day.

Now, I've been getting pretty pissed off at this, so I've stopped trying to wake him up because I know nothing will come of it. Here's the part that I'm struggling with: Joe has class at 8:00, and he sets his alarms so early _just so he can wake up at 8:00_.

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I wish I were exaggerating, and a lot of you may think I am, but I hope you guys can believe me. What I've been doing is just not waking him up and putting my headphones in so I'm not distracted by his alarm. He's been waking up closer to 8:15 and missing his class, which has been my petty revenge to him.

Also, for those of you wondering, when I get up, I take care to be quiet. At first it was to be respectful of everyone else's sleep (ironic because my roommate obviously doesn't feel the same), but now it's to ensure that he sleeps in late.. Am I the a**hole?

This is a copy of the above post. It is a record of the post as originally written, in case the post is deleted or edited. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*

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2_Headed_Cat − You say you've known him for a while, did you go to high school with him? Did he have issues getting to school on time? I'm really wondering how he got his ass to school in the morning before college,

and I'm wondering if someone had a really aggressive method for getting him up (possibly dragging him out of bed) and he depended on that, and can't wake up without it. Shame. As an aside, if you're a parent, please make your teenage children find a way to get themselves up for school before they leave for college.

Don't let them depend on you and then send them off figuring they'll either figure it out or end up with someone nice enough to take care of them. Back to OP, you're not an a**hole for wanting your roommate to be considerate of *your* sleep schedule in the morning, you really need to talk him about finding a way to get *himself* up, whether that's a vibrating alarm or . . .

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I don't know, something has to work, but he can't set an alarm that makes noise for hours because he sleeps through it, waking you up and possibly waking up the neighbors and other people in the apartment long before *they* need to be up.. Or you need a new living situation, where you don't share a room with him.

bradaltf4 − Not the a**hole but I've lived in a similar situation, dude was dead to the world with multiple alarms for hours. I finally convinced him to get an alarm with bed shaker (basically just vibrates hard under the mattress) and that alarm worked.

He's your friend and probably starting to get embarrassed he can't wake himself up like a normal person. Sit him down and talk about it, let him know about others alarms so you both can get what you need.

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[Reddit User] − Not he a**hole at all! I actually think you're a pretty good friend to put up with his alarm, because I would be in there shutting that thing off every day. Your friend needs to figure out how to get up when he needs to be up, or figure out a career that allows him to sleep until later in the day, but that's not your responsibility at all!

BernieSandersLeftNut − My wife has 4-6 alarms that go off every morning and they start an hour before she actually ever gets up. She sleeps through all of them. I have no advise for you... Just letting you know I understand your pain.

These Redditors rallied behind the student’s plight, cheering their stand while offering practical workarounds. But do their fiery takes solve the issue, or just crank up the volume on the tension?

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This story of blaring alarms and quiet revenge rings true for anyone who’s shared a space with a less-than-considerate roommate. The student’s choice to let Joe sleep through his classes, while petty, shines a light on the frustration of disrupted routines and unspoken expectations. Their compromise shows friendship’s pull, but is it sustainable? How would you handle a roommate whose habits derail your day? Drop your thoughts below and let’s keep the conversation buzzing.

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