AITA for getting pissed at a kid who answers everything with “I don’t know” or give one word answers?

A 26-year-old woman agreed to watch her mom’s boyfriend’s 10-year-old son for a few hours during an unexpected emergency, even though she had never met the boy or his dad before. Hoping to make the best of it, she tried asking simple get-to-know-you questions, only to be met with repeated “I don’t know,” “yes,” or “no” answers.

What makes the story more complicated is that the child’s timid behavior—hiding from friendly dogs, staying far back from the horse barn activities, and circling instead of sitting—frustrated her to the point that she cut the outing short. When the dad pressed for an explanation later, she unloaded, questioning why the boy was so withdrawn and even criticizing the father’s parenting. Now her mom says she was too harsh, leaving her wondering if she crossed the line.

‘AITA for getting pissed at a kid who answers everything with “I don’t know” or give one word answers?’

The day started with unfamiliar territory for everyone involved.

I (26f) was asked to watch my mom's boyfriend's kid "Mark" (10?) for few hours due to an "emergency." I'm not sure of the details so don't ask.

I never met this kid or his dad at this point. Well I had to go to the barn so I had his dad sign a liability form then asked...

Attempts to connect quickly turned frustrating.

I tried to be nice to him since it wasn't his fault that he's stuck with me. I was asking some questions to get to know him like what his...

He answered all of the questions with "idk" or "yes/no." OK, fine, he doesn't want to talk to me, so I stopped asking. I pull up and the dogs greeted...

The boy’s visible discomfort and disengagement built tension throughout the afternoon.

The dogs are very friendly. They wanted to say hi, and Mark visibly flinched away. I shooed them away but was thinking why tf he was so timid. Then I...

I asked him nicely to go sit down where I can see him instead of being in the middle of the barn. He goes off but starts circling in the...

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Bad timing since the staff started feeding and turn out. I decided to cut the session short and leave. My horse was also picking up on my agitation too so...

Mark gave me "idk" again so I asked if he liked pizza. He said yes so I asked what kind of pizza he liked, which he also responded "idk" to....

The confrontation with the father ended in sharp words.

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Little while later, his dad came to pick Mark up and I told him that I won't be watching his kid again. He asked why and I tried to shrug...

He was very uncomfortable with me and he didn't have fun." Technically true. But his dad kept pushing for an answer until I got mad. I said "Well it's because...

He doesn't even respond half the time when I try to talk to him. When he does, he only responds with yes, no, and I don't know. I can't even...

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How are you raising him?" Mark's dad turned bright red, took Mark, and left the house. My mom later tried to talk to me and told me I was too...

At the core, the poster felt inconvenienced and then increasingly irritated by the boy’s one-word answers and withdrawn body language. While it’s understandable to want some basic interaction during hours spent together, a 10-year-old meeting a complete stranger—especially in an environment with large animals and new people—can easily shut down. Shyness, anxiety, fear of dogs, or simply being overwhelmed by an “emergency” drop-off are all common reasons a child might go quiet. The poster’s frustration escalated into judgment, culminating in a public critique of the father’s parenting skills, which crossed from personal annoyance into unfair accusation.

On the other side, many adults forget how intimidating the world can feel at ten years old. The boy wasn’t rude or disrespectful—he was cautious. He still followed instructions (mostly), ate what was offered, and didn’t cause trouble. Expecting him to perform like a chatty guest or entertain his reluctant babysitter sets an unrealistic bar. The poster could have chosen empathy—perhaps quiet activities, no pressure to talk, or simply accepting the silence as normal—rather than interpreting it as a personal slight or a sign of poor upbringing.

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Ultimately, the outburst revealed more about the adult’s impatience than the child’s character. Babysitting is an act of care, not an audition. Criticizing a parent’s entire approach to raising their kid after one short afternoon, especially without any context about the child’s background, rarely lands well. A simple “I’m not the right fit for this” would have preserved everyone’s dignity far better.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

The overwhelming majority of commenters labeled the poster the asshole, highlighting the child’s likely shyness and anxiety.

[Reddit User] − YTA. Do you really expect a 10yo to be outgoing and confortable in the presence of a pure stranger ?

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Also, how did you think it would be a good idea to insult the parenting skills of somebody when you clearly have no idea what it is to raise a...

darthnesss − YTA. You have no idea what this child's history is. He's 10 and you're new to him. Instead of cutting him some slack and trying to patiently build...

you chose to be judgemental af and insist your feelings about the time spent are the only ones that matter. You were so upset that the kid wasn't meeting your...

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Icydoughnut812 − Info: Is this the first time you've seen a child? Yta

TinyRascalSaurus − YTA. The poor kid is shy and you're a new person. His behavior screams of anxiety. You don't have to watch him if you don't want to, but...

[Reddit User] − Yta. This was me as a kid lmao this was literally how I was. Shy as hell. And the kid was probably raised to not be picky...

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Like I was told if I’m at someone’s house or with a sitter just eat what they give me. I get why it’s annoying but the kid is doing his...

A smaller group keeps the tone more neutral while still pointing out the child’s perspective.

Head_Kangaroo − Yeah, that’s how some kids are with strangers. You were foisted on him as much as he was foisted on you.

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You can’t just start grilling him and expecting detailed conversation right after being left alone with a stranger (who clearly resents having to babysit him. ) Maybe he’s shy. Maybe...

Maybe your vibe (liability forms; air-quoting “emergencey”; money for food and gas before even laying eyes on the kid, etc) rubbed off on him. The judgement on the father was...

Left-Car6520 − Jesus OP, calm down. A ten year old kid is shy. Big deal? Why are you so mad about it? He was there to be babysat, not entertain...

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A couple of lighter or relatable comments help soften the heavy judgment.

Particular_Cell7941 − YTA. He’s obviously shy! How were you raised??

[Reddit User] − YTA. He’s a ten year old kid FFS, being watched by someone he doesn’t know. It sounds like he’s a little scared of animals, and you had...

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You’re not the a__hole for that… it’s good for him to have new experiences, but rejecting this poor kid because he’s shy towards a stranger in an unfamiliar environment?

Don’t you remember being a kid??? I think you should’ve put yourself in his shoes and tried to empathize with him. At the very least you owe him and his...

Don_Frika_Del_Prima − I pull up and the dogs greeted us, and Mark immediately hid behind me. The dogs are very friendly. They wanted to say hi, and Mark visibly flinched...

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I shooed them away but was thinking why tf he was so timid. Some people (and def kids) fear dogs. It's not because you know them/like them that everyone feels...

This story illustrates how quickly impatience can turn a routine favor into a tense family moment. The boy’s quiet, cautious behavior was almost certainly a normal reaction to being dropped with a stranger—yet it triggered sharp criticism from the adult in charge. While frustration is human, the real lesson seems to lie in choosing empathy over judgment when dealing with children in vulnerable spots.

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Have you ever babysat a shy or withdrawn child? How did you handle the silence? Or were you the quiet kid in someone else’s care—what helped you feel more comfortable? Share your stories and thoughts below!

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One Comment

  1. Don’t be a child-minder, if you haven’t a feel for it. His parents should have made other plans, so his parents were the AH. You exposed him to a world he didn’t know and were puzzled when he wasn’t outgoing. Not his fault. You expected too much from him, and he’s a stranger to youI grew up with baby sitting jobs and siblings, but all children are different. Anyone in my family would have been super excited to be around animals. You are frustrated because your intentions were good, and it was foisted on you.