AITA for getting my sister expelled from school?

Picture a sunny afternoon, the kind where the smell of fresh paint lingers in a cozy, slightly charred kitchen. A widowed mom, let’s call her Sarah, sits at a family lunch, expecting a casual chat with her friend-with-benefits’ (FWB) parents. Instead, she’s blindsided by wedding bells and talk of meeting her kids—plans she never signed up for. Sarah’s heart races; she’s been crystal clear about her no-marriage rule. The tension crackles like a summer storm brewing.

Sarah’s life hasn’t been easy. Widowed young with three kids, she’s built a fortress of boundaries to protect her family, leaning on her late husband’s insurance and his small business. Dating? Sure, but only on her terms: no kids involved, no rings exchanged. When Bob, her FWB, and his family push her into a corner, Sarah’s about to unleash a truth bomb that’ll shake the table.

‘AITA for getting my sister expelled from school?’

I (14m) recently got my twin sister (14f) expelled from school after reporting her for the bullying she did. I don’t think I did anything wrong and my grandpa (72m) is on my side but parents (40m and 40f) think I betrayed sister. My sister has never been the nicest person, she got in trouble for bullying in elementary school and earlier in middle school, has gotten detention and ISS before,

but this is the worst punishment she’s gotten so far. She can be mean to our siblings and cousins to if she wants to. We are in 8th grade now. A few weeks ago, I was playing basketball outside during lunch (which we’re allowed to do), me and my friends were having a good time when we saw a boy crying on the grass, me and my friends went to see what was wrong.

This boy was telling us about how he was being bullied by a group of kids for being “preppy” (posts skincare routines on TikTok, Starbucks iced coffee, generally seen as a more feminine male aesthetic), kids were calling him gay and the f slur when he’s not gay. We told him we thought he was cool, he started discussing skincare and fashion with us,

we don’t know much about it so me and my friends were trying to talk about Nike and stuff about fashion we did know (mostly sports stuff), and he actually knew quite a bit about it, said he’s started taking courses at a local college about fashion history, he’s also in 8th grade like us. After we calmed him down, we asked him if he wanted to play ball with us and we were amazed at how good he was,

he said he’s not really into sports but he was so naturally good, had us playing our hardest and scored against a few of us when playing in teams, we encouraged him to potentially try out for the team in high school and he said he’d consider it. Over the few weeks, we’ve started to hang out with him more and more, we were at the park playing with him and he dropped his phone,

one of my friends picked it up and unintentionally opened up the messages on Instagram since he got a notification for it, he saw someone text him h**ophobic stuff, the boy noticed my sister was one of the kids sending him the messages, we told him it wasn’t ok and that we’d go to AP with him. My sister and her friends was called into the office and they all got in a bunch of trouble, it was her,

3 other girls and 2 other boys, one of which is her boyfriend. My sister was the ringleader and the cruelest, so she got the harshest punishment and was expelled. My mother and father said I shouldn’t have gone to AP and instead talked to them, my grandfather has a different perspective since he was involved in progressive activist groups in his teen years and college years,

and while he’s straight, he saw his gay friends get bullied and was horrified about what she was doing, even though it was to a straight boy. My sister is calling me an a**hole, a snitch and says she hates me, my friends are reassuring me we did the right thing.

Relationships thrive on honesty, but Sarah’s tale shows what happens when boundaries get trampled. Bob’s ambush at his parents’ house wasn’t just a misstep—it was a calculated move. Sarah, a widow guarding her kids’ stability, faced a classic pressure tactic. “When someone sets clear boundaries, ignoring them signals disrespect,” says Dr. Susan Krauss Whitbourne, a psychology professor, in a Psychology Today article (source). Bob’s grin during the family’s grilling screams manipulation.

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This isn’t just about Sarah and Bob—it’s a broader issue. A 2021 study from the Pew Research Center (source) notes that 60% of U.S. adults prioritize personal independence over marriage. Sarah’s stance reflects this shift, especially for single parents protecting their kids. Bob’s push for control, especially over her home and business, raises red flags about financial motives.

Dr. Whitbourne’s advice? “Communicate boundaries early and often.” Sarah did just that, but Bob’s overreach forced her hand. For others in similar spots, experts suggest calmly restating limits and walking away if they’re ignored. Sarah’s bold exit was a masterclass in self-respect.

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These are the responses from Reddit users:

Reddit didn’t hold back, and their takes are as spicy as a summer barbecue. Here’s what the community had to say:

Dopamineoftheweek − NTA I think you did your sister a long term favor. If she never has any consequences how will she learn? If your parents always coddle those behaviors she won't see a reason to change. Even now, it seems like she has no regard for the person she hurt. She's only mad that she is in trouble. You did the right thing.

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wind-river7 − NTA. Maybe some day your sister will stop her bullying. She deserves every day that she was expelled. Your parents should be dealing with her too. Sister didn’t start bullying in a vacuum. I’m sure that all the people she has bullied, are relieved to see her gone. I hope your parents are overseeing her electronics, if they haven’t removed them.

Cokeycane − NTA - Your sister sucks and she should be punished. Betrayal? How about she learns how to be a decent human being?? Sounds like she's only mad because she got caught and is in trouble. Does she show any remorse to the person she hurt?

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Your sister has been doing this a long time and she hasn't changed. Your parents obviously didn't solve anything from the past, so what good would it do to just tell them anyway? Stand proud for what you did. We need more people like you in the world.

confused-mammal − You and your friends are good kids. You saw someone hurting and offered them comfort. You validated him for who he is. You saw a situation that was too big for you to handle and turned to the adults in your life that you felt could/would help..

NTA. I'm very, very proud of you. And I hope your sister learns from your example.. ETA - Thanks for all the awards and whatnot, folks! Wanted to take a moment to say this:. Respect and listen to kids. They know more than you think.

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mdthomas − Your sister is mad at you and calling you a snitch? Maybe she shouldn't have been a bully!. NTA Also, huge props to your and your friends for not only talking to him but including him in your group even though he has different interests. Not everyone at your age would do that.

hiswhatyouaimfor − NTA Thank you for being a good person and standing up against your sister! If she doesn’t learn now that there are consequences to your actions then when will she? I’m wondering what your parents would have done if you’d have told them, because clearly it’s a pattern and they aware of it but not attempting to rectify the behaviour.. Good for you OP you could have saved someone’s life.

GyroThrowAway − NTA It's fantastic that you and your friends stand up for others and don't tolerate h**ophobic slurs. Your parents should be **proud** to have raised someone so kind, their loss that they're not.

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wtafml − NTA. Tell me if I'm missing something- even if *you* hadn't gone to admin, the rest of the group would have, and the outcome would be the same. Right? End of conversation, IMO. I think you're correct morally, as well, but from a simple, practical point of view, it doesn't even make sense to be mad at you in the first place. Idk how to say it without using a legal term, but you are not the 

rak1882 − NTA What were your parents going to do if you had gone to them first? They know that your sister has had a problem being a bullying and they obviously haven't handled it successfully. That failure has consequences. Your sister has had several chances to learn that bullying is wrong but instead her response is to harass you. Honestly, I'd lean towards asking if you can stay elsewhere until Mom and Dad figure out how to parent their other child.

Lyiaaa − NTA. You didn’t make her bully the boy, post hateful comments, or otherwise cause harm. She did that all on her own and it’s about time someone stopped her. Your parents should be trying to figure out what they did wrong to have let her behavior become so bad instead of blaming you for standing up for someone else.

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Your sister would have had to face consequences for her actions sooner or later—better now while she’s young than later on when it might be too late for her to change.

These Redditors cheered Sarah’s clapback, but do their hot takes match real-world wisdom?

Sarah’s story is a wild ride—think a rom-com gone rogue. She stood her ground, dodged a manipulative trap, and left Bob’s family reeling. Her fierce commitment to her kids and independence is a reminder: boundaries are non-negotiable. But was her public shutdown too harsh, or just what Bob deserved? What would you do if someone tried to steamroll your limits like that? Drop your thoughts below and let’s keep this juicy discussion going!

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