AITA for getting my sister an XXL jumper when she asked for a L?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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A birthday gift should spark joy, but for one 19-year-old, it ignited a family feud. Picture this: a cozy living room, wrapping paper scattered, and a teenage girl’s face falling as she unfolds a jumper with an XXL tag. The giver, her older sister, meant well, navigating the minefield of an online store’s bizarre sizing. Yet, the gift left the 14-year-old feeling hurt and her mother fuming.

This tale of good intentions gone awry taps into the universal sting of body image and miscommunication. The jumper fit perfectly, but the size label loomed large, casting a shadow over the celebration. It’s a story that makes you wonder: how can a thoughtful gesture unravel so fast? Let’s dive into this Reddit saga and unpack the emotions, opinions, and lessons it reveals.

‘AITA for getting my sister an XXL jumper when she asked for a L?’

So I (19f) have a 14-year-old sister called Jade. Jade's birthday was a few days ago and apparently, I've majorly f**ked up. Jade asked me for a jumper from a certain online store and asked for it in size L because she wants it a little baggy (she's usually a size M).

The issue is that I've brought from this store multiple times and their sizes are all out of whack. For example, you order a size L but the fit is that of n S. Or an XXL is the fit of an L. It's very annoying and I've made the mistake one too many times, so when Jade asked for an L, I ordered an XXL.

I didn't think anything of it, in my mind, I was getting her what she wanted in the fit she wanted. I do the same with myself if I buy from there. Well, her birthday rolls around and she opens my gift. I preambled a little by saying that I had to get it in a bigger size because of the store's sizing and she said fine.

At first she's super excited but then she sees the sizing. She gets really upset and doesn't talk to me for the rest of the evening. My mom is furious with me. I made it very clear that it's because of the store's weird and f**ked up sizing issues, but they weren't having it.. AITA?. EDIT: The jumper fit exactly how she wanted it to

Gift-giving can be a tightrope walk, especially when sizing enters the chat. This story highlights a clash of practicality and perception, with a 14-year-old’s self-image caught in the crossfire. Let’s break it down.

The older sister’s logic was sound: she knew the store’s sizes ran small, so she ordered an XXL to match her sister’s desired baggy fit. But for a teenager, an XXL tag can feel like a spotlight on insecurities. According to Dr. Charlotte Markey, a body image expert, “Adolescents are hyper-aware of their appearance, and external cues like clothing sizes can amplify self-consciousness.” This explains Jade’s reaction—she likely saw the tag as a judgment, not a sizing quirk.

This situation reflects a broader issue: women’s clothing sizes are wildly inconsistent. A 2011 study found that sizes vary significantly across brands, fueling frustration and self-doubt. The sister’s choice was practical, but without preemptive communication, it backfired. A quick heads-up could’ve softened the blow, framing the size as a store issue, not a personal one.

For solutions, experts suggest open dialogue. The older sister could validate Jade’s feelings, saying, “I get why this upset you; I just wanted the fit you love.” Dr. Markey advises, “Parents and siblings should model body-positive language to counter societal pressures.” Cutting off the tag and focusing on the jumper’s vibe might help Jade move past the label. This family could use this as a chance to bond over shared frustrations with sizing chaos.

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Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

The Reddit crew dished out a lively mix of cheers and side-eyes for this sibling saga. Here’s the unfiltered scoop:

Libba_Loo − NTA- your sis is being way too delicate for her own good and your mom is enabling it. Both are old enough to understand your point about the sizes running on the small side. Especially since she asked for something from that particular store.. Next time, just get her what she asks for and watch her struggle to get into it.

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del901 − NTA. You knew how the jumpers fit from that store. You were trying to do a nice thing. And you were right. It fit perfectly. Sister has to learn that those little letters (and the size numbers) are meaningless with all the variation between manufacturers.

[Reddit User] − NTA. It's just common sense to buy things in the right sizing. I don't know if it was one of them, but many asian store have clothing that are REALLY small and even on their website they recommend going 2 sizes up if you live outside of Asia. I always find it a little hurtful when I see my clothes with those huge size on them, but hell, wearing them don't make me fatter. It's just a tag.

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Unusual_academic − NAH. You had good intentions and ultimately this was an innocent mistake but she is a 14 year old and she took this as you telling her that she’s bigger than she is, so she is hurt.

[Reddit User] − NTA. Women’s sizing is terrible. You wear an xs one place and an xl at another. It’s a s**tty thing to have to deal with but it’s not your fault.

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OverthinkingMum − NAH, but you could have mentioned it before you ordered it. It’s stupid but at that age (and sometimes even now) I’d have chosen a different gift because sizes mess with my head.. From her point of view, it fits how she wants, she can cut the label off. Good luck!

Katatonic92 − NTA - It may have been better to have spoken to her about this issue before you ordered it, so it wasn't such a shock to her when she received it. It sounds like she may be feeling insecure about herself, which is why your explanation fell on deaf ears.

Are you aware of any insecurity issue? I still say NTA because it was a timing issue, unintentional, with reasonable explanation. If you were aware it might upset her, I'd lean more towards Arsehole.

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JustMeLurkingAround- − NAH you did the best you could with the best intentions, but she is 14 and full of hormones and peer pressure and Instagram expectations. She is self conscious about her body and having to wear any XXL clothing probably distorts her body image to ==fat and huge.

She probably feels like her sister told her she is a whale, even if that's not what's happened. The brains and feelings of 14 year old are twisted and self sabotating.. You did nothing wrong, but give her some space and don't take it personal.

Effective-Apple-7847 − She young and likely dealing with body issues - it's not about what you bought. This is about how she's letting the size on the clothes define her - am XXL means she's 'fat' in her mind.. Honestly, not sure how your mom's not picking up on that....

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[Reddit User] − NTA, This was a lose - lose situation. If you had gotten her the L and it would not fit, she would be mad too.

These Redditors weighed in with passion, some high-fiving the sister’s logic, others nodding to Jade’s hurt feelings. But do these hot takes capture the full picture, or are they just stirring the pot?

This story reminds us how a small tag can carry big emotions. The sister’s heart was in the right place, but a teen’s lens on body image turned a gift into a misunderstanding. It’s a chance to talk sizing, sensitivity, and family dynamics. What would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation? Share your thoughts below and let’s unpack this together!

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