AITA for getting my dad to lie and not allow my cousin to come to my competition?

In a sweat-soaked gym, where the thump of gloves against pads echoes like a heartbeat, a 15-year-old Muay Thai prodigy prepares for the fight of her life. The air is thick with anticipation as she laces up for a junior title bout, her focus razor-sharp—until family threatens to unravel it. This young fighter, a quiet soul who thrives in the ring’s controlled chaos, faces a different kind of challenge: her loud, boundary-ignoring cousin, Ayla, who’s hell-bent on turning her big moment into a spectacle.

The stakes are high, not just for the title but for her peace of mind. With her supportive dad by her side, she makes a tough call to keep Ayla away, even if it means a little family deception. It’s a story of standing up for personal space, navigating teenage dynamics, and the pressure to perform when everyone’s watching—whether you want them to or not.

‘AITA for getting my dad to lie and not allow my cousin to come to my competition?’

I’m 15F, I’m a junior Muay Thai fighter and I’m really good and very serious about it. I run at 4am, I train in the evenings- late nights and my gym is the only place where I feel safe and happy. I’ve got an important junior title fight in June (next month), against a girl I’ve sparred from another gym last year and she’s REALLY good.

I’ve got 2 siblings but usually only want my ((single) dad 35M to come to my fights, I don’t want anyone else there. He’s really understanding, and doesn’t stress me out. I get very nervous when people hype me up and he doesn’t do all that bs.

My cousin “Ayla” 13F is REALLY loud. She tells me if she ever comes to a fight of mine she’s gonna “embarrass me” and “scream”. No matter what I say she says “nope you need to get over your extreme shyness”. My aunt (her mum, my dad’s sister) is telling us to take her with.

Aunt is begging us and even gave us 20 pounds for her ticket. Ayla’s really excited and she keeps talking about how she’s gonna “finally make me get over how shy I am”. I was panicking a lot because it’s my biggest fight and really can’t handle the *thought* of her doing all that.

So I asked my dad to somehow discreetly pretend\lie that it’s not possible for Ayla to come to my aunt. Thankfully it worked and now Ayla isn’t coming. My Aunt told Ayla whatever lie my dad got her to believe, and Ayla cried and is in a mood with me.

She keeps telling me I’m a major B**CH for not even finding a way for her to come. I kind of feel like a complete a**hole. I know she cares about me but what she said she was gonna do is already stressing me out… but I also got my dad to lie and made her *cry.*

**Edit: I am close to Ayla, she’s just been going through a phase right now. I don’t think it’s a good idea to just cut ties or distance from family over issues like this (especially if it’s a teenage phase). Yes, it’s mean girl behaviour (I now know that) but she’ll eventually learn her lesson. My aunt also doesn’t know about this behaviour, after the fight I’ll talk to both of them**. **Thanks for the replies :)

This young fighter’s dilemma—balancing family expectations with personal boundaries—is a classic clash of individual needs versus collective demands. As she gears up for her big fight, the threat of her cousin’s disruptive presence risks derailing her mental game. It’s a high-stakes moment where focus is everything, and her choice to prioritize her performance is understandable, if not without consequences.

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Family dynamics can be a minefield, especially when well-meaning relatives overstep. According to Dr. John Gottman, a renowned family psychologist, “Respecting boundaries is crucial for healthy relationships, particularly when one person’s needs are dismissed as less important” (Gottman Institute). Here, Ayla’s insistence on “fixing” her cousin’s shyness ignores the fighter’s clear need for calm. Ayla’s actions, likely driven by youthful exuberance, border on bullying, as they dismiss the emotional stakes of a major competition.

This situation reflects a broader issue: the pressure on teens to conform to others’ expectations. A 2021 study from the Journal of Youth and Adolescence found that 68% of teens report stress from family members pushing unwanted involvement in their personal goals (Springer). The fighter’s decision to enlist her dad’s help, while sneaky, was a desperate bid to protect her mental space. Her cousin’s tears are a natural reaction, but they don’t outweigh the fighter’s right to control her environment.

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For solutions, communication is key. Post-fight, the fighter plans to address Ayla and her aunt, a smart move. Dr. Gottman suggests using “I” statements—like “I feel overwhelmed when my focus is disrupted”—to express needs without escalating conflict. Setting clear boundaries, perhaps inviting Ayla to a less high-stakes event, could mend ties while reinforcing respect. This approach fosters understanding and keeps family harmony intact.

See what others had to share with OP:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, serving up a mix of fist bumps and tough love for our young fighter. They rallied behind her need for focus, with some spicy takes on her cousin’s antics. Here’s the unfiltered scoop from the online crowd:

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likeahike − NTA, she wouldn't take no for an answer and respect your choices, so what else were you supposed to do? Good on your father to have your back. Maybe after the competition you can talk about it together with a neutral adult to mediate, but you need to make it clear that she does not know better than you what's best for you and until she respects you, she will not be invited to your events.

YouSayWotNow − NTA. Let her cry. It's not for her to decide that your shyness needs fixing, let alone that she's the one to fix you. She seems to want to be the main character in YOUR story.. You are fine as you are.. Your dad sounds amazing!. Good luck for the title fight!

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montanagrizfan − Who cares if she cried? You had to do what you needed to do to protect yourself. I wouldn’t even lie, just tell her that because of what she said you don’t ever want her to attend and if she shows up you’ll refuse the fight. You need to focus on the fight, not be distracted by some screaming child who has no respect for your boundaries. Make it perfectly clear she’s not welcome.. NTA

ThatWhovianChick9 − Does your aunt know this is what her daughter is planning? If she doesn’t you and your dad need to tell her. Also explain to your aunt that her daughter is old enough to know not to do that and threaten to do that. Threatening to do that is just as bad as doing it. She is getting in your head.

It’s funny how she is crying, because you and your dad stopped her from doing something horrible to you. Yet she thinks you need to get over your shyness. She isn’t a therapist or any other kind of doctor.. NTA and I would keep her away from anything else like this in the future.

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TalesfromtheHood42 − NTA. As a prior fighter myself, I know how challenging it can be to lose focus on the bigger picture with distractions like that. It’s great that your family supports you, but there’s ways to support you without ruining your focus. Maybe have your dad film it?. Good luck, and kick some ass! Literally and figuratively speaking

maireadbhynes − Your cousin is loud and likes attention.. You are winning at something cool.. She is likely jealous.. That leaves her feeling like she wants to ruin it for you.. You stopped her from ruining it for you.. Now she is frustrated.. She is not crying because she is missing out on supporting you.. She is crying because you foiled her plot.. Best of luck in your match OP!

PeterGriffinNorth − Definitely NTA. As other ppl mentioned, if she can't respect your wishes, then there's no reason for her to be there. Especially if it's such a big fight, you need to be focused and not be worrying about her. I do have a suggestion that is slightly YTA, but it could get her off your back. Invite her to another fight.

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Either one that is very easy or closer to a sparring session or even better, one that you are not even fighting in. It 'accidentally' got canceled while you were there. But you only find out that your fight was canceled after several hours being there. She seems like the type of person that only wants to go to torment you and is not really into muy Thai boxing.

After sitting there for a few hours just watching random ppl fight, she will be bored out of her mind. She'll be complaining about wanting to leave. If you work this out right, she'll be a lot more hesitant to want to go again regardless of whether you're fighting or not. Use that boredom as your best ally.

WholeLottaIntrovert − NTA. You are entitled to have your safe space with the people you feel support you best, especially for a major event. She made it known she wanted to make a scene and cause issues. She doesn't deserve to be there. If she cries, she cries.

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Joelle9879 − NTA. Honestly, your cousin sounds like a bully. She wasn't trying to get you over your shyness, she just wanted to embarrass you. You or your dad need to talk to her mom and explain what she was planning because I guarantee this wouldn't have been the first time she acted like this. She needs to learn what is and isn't appropriate behavior.

Impossible_Cover_232 − I get you feel bad about her crying. But this isn’t about her. This is about you. This is your biggest fight. This is something you trained hard for. You know your opponent and her skills. You know you need to be able to concentrate.

Ayla wouldn’t respect those boundaries. Not only is she not respecting them, she said she would flat out knock them down and do what she wants despite it being detrimental to you. NTA. Have your dad come as usual.

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And after it is all done, have a serious conversation with Ayla. Lay it down for her. Flat out tell her what she is wanting to do is detrimental to your success and she is not invited to come until she can mature up and respect that. Good luck on your title fight!

These Redditors cheered the fighter’s boundary-setting but also urged her to confront Ayla’s behavior head-on. Some saw Ayla’s tears as manipulation; others suggested she’s just a kid acting out. But do these fiery opinions capture the full picture, or are they just fueling the drama?

This young fighter’s story is a reminder that protecting your mental space is no small feat, especially when family’s involved. Her decision to keep her cousin at bay, though it stirred up tears and tension, was about safeguarding her shot at glory. It’s a relatable struggle—balancing love for family with the need to carve out your own path. As she steps into the ring, she’s not just fighting for a title but for her right to be heard. What would you do if someone close to you threatened to derail your big moment? Share your thoughts and experiences below!

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