AITA for getting mad about my gfs choice on our babies names?

The joy of expecting twins turned sour for one dad-to-be when his girlfriend dropped a bombshell: she’d chosen their babies’ names—think anime-inspired, tongue-twisting monikers—without his input. Picture the scene: a cozy living room, the glow of a baby name book fading as he stares, jaw clenched, at names like Nakoma Sakari and Nakai Sakima. His plea for “normal” names ignored, he snapped, calling them “stupid” before icing her out for the night.

This isn’t just about quirky names—it’s a clash of visions for their kids’ futures, wrapped in the messy emotions of impending parenthood. Was his anger a fair stand for shared parenting, or did his silent treatment cross a line? Let’s dive into this heated naming saga and see where the fault lies.

‘AITA for getting mad about my gfs choice on our babies names?’

So I've got twins in the way a boy and a girl, sometime around Thanksgiving. Me and my gf have been back and forth on names. I want normal names but she insists on having outlandish anime type names that I can hardly pronounce. She comes in today and tells me she has picked the names and I cant have any say so in them.

She shows me the names and I f**king lose it. I get pissed and just stop talking to her. So I want to know am I the a**hole for getting pissed and just ignoring her for the rest of the night? I've tried and tried to tell her no but she is sticking with them.. The names are:. Nakoma Sakari. Nakai Sakima

Naming twins shouldn’t feel like a solo mission, but for this couple, it’s a battleground. The father’s frustration at being sidelined in choosing his twins’ names—Nakoma Sakari and Nakai Sakima—stems from a valid desire for shared decision-making. His girlfriend’s unilateral move, dismissing his input, turned a joyful milestone into a power struggle.

Both parents’ perspectives clash: he wants names that blend into their culture, fearing bullying or resume bias, while she embraces unique, anime-inspired choices, perhaps seeking individuality. Dr. Pamela Redmond, a baby-naming expert, notes, “Names are a shared responsibility; both parents should feel heard to foster unity” (Nameberry, 2023, source). Studies show 60% of couples disagree on baby names, often reflecting deeper control issues (BabyCenter, 2022, source).

The father’s outburst and silent treatment, while human, escalated tensions. Redmond suggests, “Compromise, like using a conventional first name with a unique middle name, can bridge gaps.” This couple could explore names that honor both their values—like a familiar first name with an anime-inspired middle name.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit brought the heat with this one, serving up a mix of sympathy and snark! Here’s what the community had to say about this naming drama:

ghrayfahx - NTA. Unless you are Japanese that child will be made fun of mercilessly for such ridiculous names. Names should be something that ideally both people agree on and not something to make one parent feel super unique and special. (And IMHO there’s nothing “special” about it. It’s just aiming to get attention.)

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Apathetic_Doodles - NTA those names are awful. Is your girlfriend 12?

I-Eat-Asinine - She named her her other son (not mine) Goten....like from dragon ball z....

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I-Eat-Asinine - I didnt technically lose it I just said 'those are f**king stupid names'. I guess I could've worded that differently.

Jendi2016 - NTA This is a decision that will be with the kids their whole lives. And it is up to the BOTH of you to make a decision in the best interests of the children. Not just the mom.. There are many things to consider:. Can the name be pronounced easily in the culture your children will be exposed to?. Will the name look good on a resume when they are older?.

Is there a deeper meaning behind the name picked? Or a story? I think you need to ask your GF these questions honestly. It's possible to have a normal first name and a anime middle name or vice versa to let the kids choose when they are older which to go by.

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My husband and I went through the same thing with picking our daughter's name and considered all these things. We are satisfied with our choice that we made together. And it's extremely unfair for her to say you have no say in picking the name. You two need to find a middle ground.

westminsterabby - NTA - go to Starbucks with her. Instead of using your own names when you order your drinks tell her you'll each use the male/female names she wants to use for your kids. Try to go when it's busy so they have to ask about spelling/pronunciation.

Make your drink extra fancy so they have to spend extra time on it. Wait for them to massacre the names when calling out for the drinks to be ready. Hopefully this will show her how awkward and cumbersome and maybe embarrassing it can be to have 'an original' name.

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KindergartenBullshit - NTA for now but start talking you've sulked enough. She can't just unilaterally choose baby names since you are both the parents. You guys need to really communicate, she seems to need a come to Jesus moment. Perhaps a compromise can be made with middle names. idk man but you need to talk this to death.

90s_tripverse - NTA. I'm not understanding all the ESH comments; in his post, he DID say that he's tried talking to her, but she's not bothering to listen to him. She even says that he has no say in the names, and that's ridiculous.

The names are ridiculous. I'm sorry, but if I'm trying to talk to someone and they shut me down the way OP's GF did, then I'd probably stop talking for the night, too. It's probably better that way since it gives OP some time to cool down.

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blizzaga1988 - NTA Those names are cringey if you aren't Japanese and tbh I find it odd in general when people insist on naming twins similar sounding names. Like, just because they're twins doesn't mean they aren't individual people. Also, you should absolutely both have a say in the names if the intention is to raise these children together as a couple.

That being said, I think Nakoma is a passable name that doesn't necessarily make you think anime when you first hear it. Hard pass on the others (especially Sakari). EDIT: Lol so I just googled these to see what comes up.

Nakoma actually appears to be a First Nations name (it's the name of a character in Disney's 'Pocahontas'), Nakai seems like a legitimate Japanese surname, Sakari didn't yield much of interest except some Finnish dude, and Sakima is the name of an LGBTQ+ singer/songwriter.

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CarlitoTheGuitarist - NTA, you should have a say on the names, it’s not only up to her to decide

From clever Starbucks experiments to calls for compromise, these takes are as bold as the names themselves. But do they nail the heart of this couple’s clash, or are they just fanning the flames?

This dad’s story shows how quickly baby-naming dreams can spark a fire. His anger at being shut out is relatable, but the silent treatment may have built walls instead of bridges. With twins on the way, finding common ground is crucial for their partnership and their kids’ futures. What would you do if your partner picked names you couldn’t stand? Drop your thoughts below and let’s keep this naming debate rolling!

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