AITA for getting jealous of my stepsister and boyfriend?

Charlotte Morse Hours
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Imagine planning a cozy movie date with your boyfriend, only for your stepsister to crash it, turning your romantic night into a third-wheel fiasco. For a 17-year-old navigating her first relationship, her stepsister’s constant interruptions—reminiscing about their shared childhood with her boyfriend—leave her feeling like an outsider. When she confronts her stepsister, she’s met with insults and family pressure to keep the peace.

Caught between jealousy and justified frustration, she’s left questioning her reaction. This Reddit tale dives into a blend of teen romance, blended family tensions, and the struggle to set boundaries. Is she wrong for feeling pushed out, or is her stepsister crossing a line? Let’s unravel this drama and see where the fault lies.

‘AITA for getting jealous of my stepsister and boyfriend?’

My (17f) dad passed away when I was ten and my mom remarried 6 years later. I love my stepdad, he is kind and respectful and I can see how much he loves my mom. He has two kids B (18f) and L (18M). Mom sold our house and he and SD bought a new house in my SD's hometown.

My stepsiblings and I have a good relationship. They have a best friend J(18M) who later on became my boyfriend. We would all hangout together and everything seemed fine. Until I noticed that B would constantly start conversations about their childhood, totally ignoring me.

J would switch the subject and I can join the conversation again. Then B would again start talking about their childhood and old friends. It was okay at first but I would feel constantly out of place. When J and I hangout in my room, B would enter without knocking

and starts joining us and eventually leaving me out of the conversation again. I can see my boyfriend trying to include me and change the topic. I told my mom how uncomfortable I feel towards B but she said to just understand and accept that they were childhood bestfriends.

I told B how I feel and she apologized and said, it wasn't her intention to exclude me in our conversations. 2 days ago J and I went to see a movie, while waiting outside the theater, B suddenly approached us and said she was out with some friends when she saw me and J.

She watched the movie with us and rode an uber with us on the way home. I confronted her when we got home as she ruined my date with J. We had plans for the night but because she tagged along we just decided to go home after the movie.

She called me an insecure b**** and that she was in his life first. Her friends think I'm the AH for getting in between B and J. I feel so sad. L and SD took my side and told B to apologize but mom said a boy shouldn't cost me my relationship with my stepsister.. AITA?

Edit: Thank you everyone for your comments and advice. This is my first relationship so I'm all new to these. To those asking f B had a thing for my bf, I'm not sure but L told me she caused J his first relationship. So maybe. More info: I didn't just walk into their friend circle, B and L introduced me to J when we moved into our new house. B has not apologized yet.

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Feeling like a third wheel in your own relationship is a tough pill to swallow, especially for a teen navigating love and a blended family. The OP’s stepsister, by repeatedly inserting herself into private moments and steering conversations to exclude the OP, shows a lack of respect for boundaries. Her defensive insult—calling the OP an “insecure b****”—and history of disrupting the boyfriend’s past relationship suggest jealousy or a need for control. The mother’s dismissal, prioritizing family harmony over the OP’s feelings, adds pressure to an already tense situation.

This scenario reflects a common challenge in blended families: navigating new relationships while respecting existing bonds. A 2023 study by the Journal of Family Issues found that 50% of step-siblings face conflicts over boundaries, often tied to differing expectations. The stepsister’s behavior, especially crashing a date uninvited, crosses into disrespectful territory.

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Relationship coach Susan Winter advises, “Clear boundaries are essential in blended families to prevent resentment”. The OP’s boyfriend’s efforts to include her are positive, but he needs to set firmer limits with his friend. The mother’s stance risks enabling the stepsister’s overreach.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Reddit didn’t hold back, serving up support with a side of suspicion about the stepsister’s motives. From calling out her jealousy to urging firmer boundaries, the comments are a lively mix. Here’s what the community had to say.

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Jen_jay66 - NTA - your step sister needs to respect your boundaries and space, it doesn't matter that she 'knew him first' ( which is so f**king childish) I'm really happy to hear that your boyfriend is understanding and tries to include you. Your step sister has some serious issues and the way she is treating you isn't okay.

Huumanatra - NTA. She likes him.. This sub has seriously skewed teenage...

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PartyySnacks - NTA. Your boyfriend really needs to be the one to be firm with her, because she will take any complaints you have as 'oh you're being insecure'.

[Reddit User] - NTA. B is jeaaaaous! (if that wasn't obvious). Make sure J knows how B's actions make you feel, and clearly state your boundaries with B. If you were officially on a romantic date with J and had plans afterwards, you should have just told B that it was the case,

and J should have stick with your original plan and B should have gone away. It's okay to feel insecure, especially when family is involved. Just don't let that insecurity affect you and guide your actions. Tell J about it, and make sure he understands that you want time alone with him,

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and that he can have time alone with B, and that you can have time with everyone together at once. If J doesn't understand that, then it is likely that this relationship won't last (i.e. fulfilling everyone's needs).

Disastrous_Chart_457 - NTA. I'm glad that you also have some family members who have heard what went on and can validate your feelings. From your post, it seems like your stepsister does not respect boundaries even after you spoke to her.

When you were at the movies, she should not have just tagged along. She should have asked if it was okay for her to join y'all. If she wants to spend time with your bf, she can ask him to hangout with her as friends. She can't be butting into your dates like that and barging into your room.

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It's disrespectful and entitled behaviour. Do you know if she likes J? Seems like she is blocking your relationship or trying to. Please speak to your stepsister and make it known to her that you are not stopping your bf from being friends with her or hanging out together.

Then, lay out your boundaries and ask her to respect them. She should always ask if it's okay to join in. Just because she is friends with your bf doesn't mean she can jump in at any time whether if be a conversation or if you all are out. Explain to your mother because it seems like she doesn't get the point.

You aren't letting a boy come between you and your stepsister. Your stepsister lacks boundaries or ignores it which is disrespectful to you. Speak with your bf abd let him know this little issue. Assure him that you are not stopping stepsister and his friendship, you'll just like her to respect boundaries.

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Disastrous-Nail-640 - NTA. She knows what she's doing. She's doing it on purpose. She wants him for herself and is jealous of you. She is spinning it around, calling you insecure, in an effort to deflect.

ParsimoniousSalad - Stepsister seems like she is trying to block your relationship. Ask her if she's jealous, or why else she can't seem to help inserting herself between you two. NTA and if it continues you'll need to establish boundaries more firmly (get your BF to help, and maybe your stepdad too - your mother is wrong here).

DecNLauren - Please can we make it a rule to use aliases rather than letters? I find it so hard to follow the drama when it's all initials!

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BeanieBabiesBaller - NTA. Shes obviously trying to cause problems, I'd tell him he needs to have a serious conversation with her and to tell her to stop horning in on your time together.

iamimy23 - NTA I think your stepsister has feelings for your boyfriend and now he's jealous that he courted you instead of her. You need to tell your boyfriend how you feel.

These Reddit takes are as spicy as a teen drama, but do they capture the full picture? Is the stepsister just clingy, or is there more at play?

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The OP’s jealousy isn’t insecurity—it’s a valid response to her stepsister’s boundary-stomping behavior. Her stepsister’s intrusions, from crashing dates to dominating conversations, disrupt a budding romance and demand a reset. This story reminds us that respect is key in blended families and relationships. What would you do if a family member overstepped with your partner? Share your thoughts—have you ever had to defend your space in a relationship?

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