AITA for getting back into my car and driving home when my mom told me what her ”emergency” was?

A golden sunset painted the suburban streets as a 22-year-old man drove home, his body heavy from a week of relentless college classes and a chaotic part-time job. All he wanted was to sink into the comfort of his bed, a rare day off beckoning like a quiet haven. Then his phone buzzed his mother, voice sharp with urgency, pleaded for him to come over for an “emergency,” tugging at the duty he felt as her only lifeline in a world she’d pushed away.

When he arrived, no crisis awaited just a list for milk, bread, and cigarettes. The sting of her exaggeration cut deep, a familiar ploy to pull him into her orbit. Exhausted and fed up, he slid back into his car and drove off, leaving her calls unanswered. His act of rebellion, born of frayed patience, sparked a wave of family disapproval, laying bare the messy clash of love and limits.

‘AITA for getting back into my car and driving home when my mom told me what her ”emergency” was?’

My (22M) dad left my mom 4 years ago, he said he was ''waiting for me to be in college to finally be over with her'', this might sound bad, but my mother it's horrible and she totally deserved it, she treated my dad (and pretty much everyone around her) like crap for most of my child and teenage years ye, her sisters cut her off,

she doesn't have any friends and my older sister (26F) abandoned her, but silly me still have some soft spot for her, because she's my mother and she's utterly alone, so I still visit her some weekends, drive her around, get her her groceries and fix things around the house.

I TRY MY BEST to have pretty much every saturday or sunday totally free just for her, but sometimes I just can't. I have classes from 7 am to 3 pm and I have a part time job from 4 to 12, so sometimes I end the day totally demolished, my mom knows that there'll be some weekends that I won't be able to go visit her

and while sometimes she understands it, she's totally demanding that I have to be there whenever she needs me because ''*I owe her*''. She would rather go a week with only take out and limit products than WALKING TWO BLOCKS DOWN HER HOUSE to a small convenient store to get them herself.

This last 3 weeks have been rough, I have a huge pile of homework and projects that I have to finish before May, my job has been an absolutely nightmare and I've been having problems with my roommate but I would rather live like this than moving back to my mom and becoming his living-in maid that has to do everything for her.

Last friday I was driving back home around 3:30, it was my day off so I was planning on sleeping all day. My mom called me and asked me to come home ASAP, I asked what was happening and she said she needed something, I said that my week has been pretty s**tty and that I would rather just go to my place and rest,

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she promised it was an ***emergency***. So I said ''K, I'm on my way''. When I arrived and asked what happened she said that she needed some milk, bread, toilet paper and cigarettes, I said ''wtf? you said it was an emergency'' and she said ''it is an emergency! I also need some stuff for the bathroom, you know what?

let me write it down'' so when she got inside the house I just hopped back into my car and left. She called a few times but I didn't answered and when I got to my house I turned my phone off and went to sleep. I woke up around midnight

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Turned my phone off and I had a bunch of messages from my mom and some relatives and they called me an AH because ''I was already there'' and that ''it was rude of me to leave my mother like that'' so idk, maybe AITA?

Family dynamics can be a tightrope walk, especially when a parent’s demands collide with a young adult’s need for independence. This young man’s story highlights the strain of being his mother’s primary support, worsened by her misuse of “emergency” to secure his attention. Her reliance, possibly rooted in loneliness, risks overwhelming her son, who’s already juggling college and work.

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Dr. John Gottman, a leading relationship expert, states, “Healthy relationships thrive on mutual respect and clear communication” (source: Gottman Institute). The mother’s exaggerated urgency undermines trust, casting her son as an unwilling caretaker. Her behavior may stem from fear of abandonment, but it places an unfair burden on him, especially given her history of alienating others.

This reflects a larger issue: caregiver burnout. A 2020 AARP study found that 23% of family caregivers face significant stress from balancing personal and family responsibilities. The son’s packed schedule makes his mother’s expectations unsustainable. His decision to leave signals a need for boundaries, even if it drew family criticism.

Open communication could help. He might set clear limits, perhaps arranging grocery deliveries or involving relatives. Therapy could foster healthier interactions for both. Encouraging his mother to rebuild connections might ease her dependence, giving him space to reclaim his life while preserving their bond.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

The Reddit community stood firmly with the son, viewing his mother’s “emergency” as a manipulative tactic. They saw his decision to drive away as a justified stand against her unreasonable demands, urging him to prioritize his own well-being.

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Commenters noted that her isolation is self-inflicted, suggesting he follow his relatives’ example and set firmer boundaries. Their consensus was clear: he’s not obligated to be her errand-runner, especially when she misuses his trust.

MentalIce6 − NTA. But honestly your family had the right idea, you need to get her out of your life, she's adding nothing to it

UnpopularConclusion − NTA. THIS is one of those times that you should follow what everyone else is doing, and cut her off!. Its not your fault she has nobody, she created that for herself. As for the flying monkeys, I mean concerned opinionated relatives, tell them to let her call them when she has an “emergency.”

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sapphirecupcake8 − NTA She not only obviously is an AH, she misused the term emergency and doesn't give a crap about the value of your time. I would honestly follow suit and go NC.

TemptCiderFan − NTA.. If it was an emergency, she has feet to walk to the store.

jammers518 − NTA just because you’re her child doesn’t mean you’re her slave. Groceries and things of those nature can be delivered, she’s TAH for lying about why she needed you to come over.

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PandoraClove − So, she's 'utterly alone in the world...' Except for the relatives she keeps around when she throws a pity party? Let THEM run her errands for a month and see if they still feel entitled to judge you. You 'owe her' NOTHING. NTA.

Shaggymaggie − LOL NTA. Your mother needs to learn the difference between an emergency and walking to the corner store

throwaway-983527 − nta those relatives that sent you message couldn’t help her?

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cassidy11111111 − Nta. And perhaps remind her of the boy who cried wolf

Excellent_Care1859 − NTA your mom is a grown adult and can take care of herself. You need to stop doing so much for her or she is going to drain you dry.

This tale of a son stretched thin by a demanding mother highlights the delicate balance between family duty and personal freedom. His choice to drive away was a stand for his own space, not abandonment. Have you ever had to set boundaries with a family member who leaned too heavily on you? Share your experiences below and let’s unravel this knot of love and limits.

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