AITA for getting a lock on my door to keep my two year old niece (and my sister) out of my room?

In a cozy suburban home, a young woman’s bedroom became a battleground. At 23, she cherished her space, a sanctuary of electronics and neatly organized work papers, until her sister and two-year-old niece turned it into a tornado’s playground. Frustration simmered as her pleas for respect went ignored, culminating in a bold move: a lock on her door. This sparked a fiery confrontation, leaving her questioning her choice. Was she wrong to protect her haven, or was her sister’s entitlement the real issue?

The clash highlights a universal struggle—balancing family ties with personal boundaries. Readers can’t help but feel the sting of her invaded space, wondering how they’d handle such disregard. Her story, raw and relatable, pulls us into the heart of a family drama where respect hangs in the balance.

‘AITA for getting a lock on my door to keep my two year old niece (and my sister) out of my room?’

I (23f) hate it when my two year old niece goes in my room. There’s NOTHING in here for a two year old. A lot of electronics that I don’t want a two year old using and a lot of in-order paperwork for my job that I don’t want a two year old scribbling over. Also a few items that can be easily broke especially if handled the way that two year olds tend to handle things.

Grab and smash. On numerous occasions, when I’ve not been home, my sister has gone into my room to try on clothes (that she gets delivered to my house*) and my niece has followed her in. She will wreck my room, and I can’t stress this enough, I actually see red when I come home to see my entire room an absolute state.

My sister doesn’t clean up after her or tidy the mess she makes, she just leaves it.Well last week I bought a lock and when my mum was out, I had my boyfriend put it on my door. Yesterday, when I got home, my sister was at our house and she rared up on me immediately saying why the f**k did I have a lock on my door now.

I told her for the millionth time that I don’t want anyone going in there that includes her and [niece]. She, predictably, called me selfish, said she doesn’t see what harm it’s doing and that she doesn’t see the reason why not. THEN she followed it up with “if you don’t want s**t broken, move it out of your room when you know [niece] is going to be here”.

I honestly had to just leave the house again. AITA for putting a lock on my door to keep my niece and sister out of my room??? Is it assholeishness to not want my s**t broken or ruined?????? God Jesus Christ just in case that gets asked about, her house isn’t in a great location or very easy to find so she gets primary deliveries sent to my address.

Edit: holy s**t I didn’t expect so many comments when I woke up. Thanks guys for agreeing with me. Just to clarify one thing I didn’t make clear and a lot of people have asked: I live with my mum, just me and her and my sister has her own house. Either way, even if it was MY house, she shouldn’t be changing in my room.

Like a lot of you have said, she can p**s off into the bathroom! Or my old room. So baffling, can’t get my head round it. For the mummy’s and daddy’s that have said that they’d never let their kids wreck someone else’s place: good for you. Honestly that’s really great to know.

I know so many “parents” that just don’t give a f**k about what their children do or what they break, so it’s refreshing to see that some people actually would care.. Gonna keep it short and sweet. Just want another couple opinions.

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Personal space can feel like a sacred refuge, especially when family oversteps. This Reddit user’s lock was a desperate bid to protect her belongings from her sister’s casual disregard. Her sister’s actions—using the room as a dressing area while letting her toddler wreak havoc—show a lack of respect for boundaries, a common issue in family dynamics. The OP’s frustration is understandable; her room isn’t a public playground.

This situation reflects a broader issue: the struggle to set boundaries within families. According to a 2023 Psychology Today article, 60% of young adults living with family report boundary violations (psychologytoday.com). Dr. John Townsend, a clinical psychologist, notes, “Boundaries are essential for healthy relationships; without them, resentment festers”. Here, the sister’s entitlement ignores the OP’s need for autonomy, escalating tensions.

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Dr. Townsend’s insight applies directly: the OP’s lock is a physical boundary where verbal ones failed. Her sister’s dismissal—suggesting she rearrange her room—shifts blame, ignoring her parental responsibility. This dynamic risks long-term strain if unaddressed.

Advice: The OP should calmly restate her need for privacy, suggesting alternatives like the bathroom for her sister’s use. Family mediation, perhaps involving their mother, could clarify expectations. Setting firm, respectful boundaries now can prevent future conflicts, preserving family ties while protecting personal space.

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Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Reddit didn’t hold back, and their takes are as spicy as a family dinner gone wrong! Here’s what the community had to say:

unsaferaisin − NTA, and I hope reading it here will chase out whatever phantom fears you had about being unreasonable. Your room is your space and you have a reasonable expectation of privacy there. Your sister is on another level with her entitlement; in no semi-rational universe should you expect your room to be her personal dressing room and your niece's Playland.

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ShmamBo88 − NTA. What an absurd statement to say that you should take things OUT of YOUR room if you don't when them to get wrecked. She's a huge AH.

CherrySnare − NTA, I do not blame you at all for getting a lock, I would too. I value my privacy and my space wayyyy too much for family members to use it as they please. It sounds like your sister is extremely immature and doesn't understand the concept that it's not her room.

[Reddit User] − Your sister is ridiculously entitled my goodness

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literositynow − NTA. It’s your room. You tried setting boundaries, and your sister walked all over those without the slightest consideration for you and your belongings. Making a physical safeguard against it happening again is perfectly reasonable.

[Reddit User] − “Had you just cleaned up after

[Reddit User] − NTA. Why would putting a lock on your door make you an a**hole?

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What_Was_I_doi − NTA. Your sister needs to respect your personal and private space. She also needs to be a parent and clean up after her kid.

[Reddit User] − NTA. I think the lock was an excellent decision on your part. Ignore the h**py sister. If you can, however, try to spend a little quality time with your niece each day. Something as simple as reading her a book for 5 minutes will help her a lot. Your sister doesn't sound like the greatest role model.

cmonmaan − Your sister can kick rocks. How entitled is she to think she and her daughter can have access you YOUR space and tell you how to keep it? NTA

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These Reddit opinions are bold, but do they capture the full picture? The crowd’s united in calling the sister entitled, yet some suggest small gestures, like reading to the niece, to ease tension. It’s a mix of support and practical advice—classic Reddit style.

This tale of locks and family feuds shows how far entitlement can push someone. The OP’s stand wasn’t just about a door—it was about reclaiming her space. Families can test boundaries, but where’s the line? What would you do if your sanctuary was invaded? Share your thoughts below—have you ever had to lock out family to keep the peace?

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